I am new here...I don't even know where to start! My husband who have been married to for 11 years has epilepsy. He was honest to me when we first started dating. I knew what it is because a family had seizures as a child. For me I feel it's probably harder being married to a man with it than a man being married to woman who has it. Men are more prideful and feel they are they are "the man" and the provider. I am a christian and I truly feel God has been with me and him. He has had 10 wrecks in his life. He went 2 years without having a seizure due to new meds he was taking but a doctor told him he had the kind that would never be completely controlled by meds. I struggle alot with him, cause he's always wanting to drive and then he gets mad at me. I am so frustrated with this. I love him and care alot about him and he can't understand how I feel. He says I don't understand but I do. I know it's hard to give up driving BUT I also know what a huge risk he takes if he does and he'd be putting MY life in danger as well as others. It's not worth it to me. Even during the 2 years he was driving we went places together, nothing has changed except I'm the one driving.
hello
- Thread starter Marie2014
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Hello Marie,
Welcome to CWE and so nice to have you with us plus all members are very helpful and i'm pleased you joined as you yourself need people to chat to who you can relate with...knowing we have seizures also.
Your hubby is putting himself at more risks of seizures missing dosages besides he's stressing himself out by the sounds of it and also yourself and it's not just him being a man...it doesn't matter how long anyone as seizures, it's when we face the fact of having them...which in my opinion your husband hasn't as yet
A large :hugs: to you my friend
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I'm a woman but I sort of know what your husband is going through.
Before I had epilepsy there were many things that I was able to do but now I don't want to, or am scared to do, because I could have a seizure while doing it. I was able to get on ladders, mow the grass or do other yard work that involved using equipment. I actually got on the tractor once just to move it a few yards and had a seizure when I did it, almost ran into a tree. My husband has to do all of this. I can do small yard work but only so much at a time because when I get worn out I tend to have seizures.
I really don't like to cook on the stove or in the oven unless there is someone in the house with me, there have been several times I've had seizures while doing these and could have burnt the house down. So unless it's something that I can just heat up in the microwave he has to wait till he gets home for me to cook it.
My meds make me pretty tired and there are some days that all I want to do is sleep. I feel bad because I'll get up at noon then I spend almost the rest of the day laying on the couch sleeping more.
Not driving is the worst though. I had epilepsy before my husband and I met so he knew that I wasn't able to drive. He has to be the one to take me to the grocery store, dr visits and run all the errands. I hate the fact that I'll go to make a sandwich or a bowel of cereal I'll see that were out of bread or milk and I can't just run out to the store and pick it up any more.
There have been times that we've gone places that he won't be able to drive home from, like when he had out patient surgery, and we had to find someone who could take him because I couldn't do it.
Driving though is something that your husband needs to understand is incredibly unsafe for him, your family and other people. I have on average about 7 seizures a month and don't get behind the wheel, it sounds like your husband has more than that. If he were to have a seizure and wreck the car who knows who he could kill. Not being able to drive is the hardest thing to get over when you have epilepsy.
Before I had epilepsy there were many things that I was able to do but now I don't want to, or am scared to do, because I could have a seizure while doing it. I was able to get on ladders, mow the grass or do other yard work that involved using equipment. I actually got on the tractor once just to move it a few yards and had a seizure when I did it, almost ran into a tree. My husband has to do all of this. I can do small yard work but only so much at a time because when I get worn out I tend to have seizures.
I really don't like to cook on the stove or in the oven unless there is someone in the house with me, there have been several times I've had seizures while doing these and could have burnt the house down. So unless it's something that I can just heat up in the microwave he has to wait till he gets home for me to cook it.
My meds make me pretty tired and there are some days that all I want to do is sleep. I feel bad because I'll get up at noon then I spend almost the rest of the day laying on the couch sleeping more.
Not driving is the worst though. I had epilepsy before my husband and I met so he knew that I wasn't able to drive. He has to be the one to take me to the grocery store, dr visits and run all the errands. I hate the fact that I'll go to make a sandwich or a bowel of cereal I'll see that were out of bread or milk and I can't just run out to the store and pick it up any more.
There have been times that we've gone places that he won't be able to drive home from, like when he had out patient surgery, and we had to find someone who could take him because I couldn't do it.
Driving though is something that your husband needs to understand is incredibly unsafe for him, your family and other people. I have on average about 7 seizures a month and don't get behind the wheel, it sounds like your husband has more than that. If he were to have a seizure and wreck the car who knows who he could kill. Not being able to drive is the hardest thing to get over when you have epilepsy.
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If he has seizures that he blacks out during then driving is one of the worst things that he could be doing!
Does he try to remember to take his meds on his own or does he have some sort of alarm to remind him? I have an alarm set on my phone for my med times. I know that if I didn't have this I'd end up forgetting several dosages of my meds.