Hello there

[fizzthecat]

My husband had a grand mal seizure in November, his first one, and was taken to A&e, and he bit his tongue, he was in absolute agony with it too, he is on Epilim and vitamin b strong and thiamin tablets. On New Years day he had 3 more GMS's and was taken to A&E. He is a draughtsman and works on site, so he needs to drive, this hasnt been a problem so far as there are no site jobs on agenda at the moment, but when there is, I am so worried that the company might sack him, I have told him to tell them that I will drive if needbe!! It has come as such a shock to all the family (we have 3 children)

Andy stopped taking his medicated before christmas, and kept saying he felt ok, well of course this must have been why the seizures kicked in. He does like a drink and was advised to cut down to 4 or 5 cans a night, which still sounds alot to me. He had a brain scan and they said it seeme ok but we have an appointment to see the neurology department a week on monday so we will see what he says. He cant sleep at night, and just lies there, and I just lie there thinking he may have another seizure at any time. He seems to be having trouble remembering things too, and he gets very stressed about things (mind you the kids really stress him out sometimes!)

Sorry to go on, it has all come as such a shock to us, and me and the children where so upset when we saw him having these seizures, and we are unable to help him, he does not know anything about them afterwards.

Julie

[speber]

...nice to meet you!

I'm sorry you and your family have to deal with this.
I am 'the husband with E' in my family...but I have had it for a long while. I hope what I tell you will help, and I hope you get answers from others as well here...this is a GREAT place!

First of all, epilepsy sucks...and it is a life-changing thing. Your husband is going to have to come to terms with this and this 'coming to terms' may take awhile...so hang in there! The biting of the tongue is a horrible nuisance\reminder of just what a crappy situation you have for an epileptic (until it heals) because it hurts REALLY bad...but it is pretty harmless otherwise. The tongue is very resilient.

You mentioned, however, that your husband drinks...this is a problem. I'm no prude...I likes my brewskies...occasional whisky or wine even...but I have learned THE HARD WAY that I had to back WAY DOWN on the intake or seizures would win the battle! I now drink no more than 3 or 4 beers on basically one night a week (my band's practice night or gig night) as a 'release' if you will...I 'let go'...it is a stress reliever for me!...a 'poker night with the boys' if you will.

Alcohol (and other things of course) can bring that seizure threshold down QUICK! He needs to understand that. If backing off the alcohol causes stress in another way for him...maybe you and him can figure some other stress-relieving activity to get him through it. There's yoga, exercise, music (take up drums!---have him beat his frustrations out on some old Ludwigs!), painting, you name it...the world's your oyster here!

Hang in there!
Good Luck!


PS. BTW, I'm the sole support person for the CAD Drafting department at my company...I understand pressure too!...he's gotta RELAX!

[Birdbomb]

Welcome fizzthecat

You know, half the battle of dealing with epilepsy is in our attitudes. If you think your life is over then you will have a lot of problems. The trick is figuring out what you CAN do insted of dwelling on what you can't.

Your husband is being very selfish by denying he has a problem. If he can't stop the drinking, he needs to ease up a lot more than what he's doing. 4-5 a NIGHT is not accepable.

If his medication kept his condition under control, than he needs to understand going off the meds REGARDLESS of how he feels, puts his life in jepardy and may make his children fatherless. Most epilepsy can be controled with medication but it MUST be taken as prescribed.

Your husband really needs to be educated about his condition. CWE has such an incredible membership and a gathering of information, I am sure you will find just about everything you need, including support.

It's very hard to accept late onset epilepsy. I know, I have been there myself and I still get angry about it sometimes. It sure isn't a path I would have chosen myself, but I have met some of the most wonderful people along the way. Good luck to you and your family.

[skillefer]

Welcome fizzthecat! I'm the spouse with epilepsy in my family. And like your hubby, I tend to bite my tongue when I have grandmals. Don't worry, it just hurts and looks frightening at times. As for your hubby, he needs to learn more about this condition. Also, don't be surprised if he's reacting the way he is because he thinks of the seizures as 'weakness'. The thing is, just be there for him. And try to be supportive when he makes good decisions, like cutting out the booze or coffee. Also, you might want to ask him if you can sit in on his next doctor's visit. That way, you hear what the doctor actually says, and you can ask him/her questions. My hubby always goes into the doctor's office with me.

[fizzthecat]

Thanks everybody, you have made me feel alot better, I think this is a great forum and lots of helpful advise and support

When my husband sees the specialist in two weeks I am going in with him, so I know exactly what he says.

Thanks again

[RobinN]

Hi Fizz - Welcome to CWE!
Those two weeks can't come fast enough. I know the feeling. Hang in there.

[Bernard]

Hi Julie, welcome to the forum.