I'm new here..........

[jkgyuro]

I've been diagnosed with epilepsy for 19 years! But new to this forum... I'm currently living in europe due to the great health insurance and train system (I can't drive). But I am thinking of returning to the States.

Can anyone give me any advice as to what to say when you don't drive or drink? I hate to say, "For medical reasons..." People always give me a strange look.

Any help would be great!

Jil

[Bernard]

Hi Jil, welcome to the forum.

You don't really need to explain not drinking to anyone IMO. It's pretty common and most people will respect that personal choice.

Not driving does pique people's curiosity (though it really isn't any of their business). Some ideas (facetious or serious):

"I'm training to be Amish."

"Ever hear of road rage?"

"It wouldn't be prudent."

"I'm thinking about the greater good."

[BIGMAN131307]

Well here is a list (found the perfect square) you can use to answer the driving questions:

1. Driving is Dangerous. Like, really dangerous. Accidental deaths are the most likely end for young people in this country, and the most popular one is car accidents. Even if you’re not drinking or speeding, the possibility that someone else on the road is looms as the most likely way for you to die violently for no reason. Air pollution from automobile exhaust is also largely responsible for thousands of deaths from respiratory diseases like bronchitis and asthma every year. It’s not just humans, of course; millions of animals are destroyed each year as well. These points alone are sufficient to dissuade me from driving.

2. Driving Makes You Fat. It’s no coincidence that four of the nation’s top ten fattest cities are in Texas, and that the rest are all relatively highway-loving cities. Texans (outside of Austin, the only non-competitive city for this category) don’t walk or ride bikes, and for many of them it seems impractical. But nothing is more impractical than being obese, a national problem that contributes to the leading causes of death (like heart disease) for those of us over 35. If it’s not bad enough that failing to get exercise can kill you, it also can make you unhappy. It’s ironic to consider the association between cars and sex appeal in our society. What’s less sexy: a person who has (or likes) to walk to work, or someone who couldn’t if they tried?

3. Cars Are Destroying the Planet. We should all be familiar with the impact of carbon emissions on the earth’s atmosphere by now- it’s not good. Road construction destroys broad swaths of nature, and runoff from roads pollutes our increasingly scarce water supplies. Almost everything involved in the process of petrochemicals is deadly to life. I am troubled by some of my cohort’s perception that driving keeps life clean and orderly; I would much rather arrive to work with sweat stains than leave an impermeable trail of toxicity in my wake.

4. Driving Cars Drives You Crazy. Surprise: spending two or three hours a day (or more) behind the wheel increases your anxiety levels and makes you angry. But it’s not just rush hour; commuting, maintaining your vehicle, and just being in the kind of places fit for cars (busy freeways, enormous parking lots, crowded malls) is a stress-inducing way of life. It’s not just a risk factor for your health- it’s a factor that makes life less valuable. It’s just not worth it.

5. Driving Is Not Affordable. Many people respond to criticism of their car-crazy lifestyles by responding that they can’t afford the alternatives: working closer to home (or living closer to work), using alternative transit (like buses, taxis or trains), or shopping at slightly more expensive local businesses. But the costs of owning and operating a car can be staggering: Most Americans spend more on their cars than housing and food combined, over $600/month. Considering the fact that many car-driving Americans can’t even afford health care, this should be a telling analysis. The alternatives pale in comparison.

6. The Oil Industry is Evil. Car companies are far from innocent organizations, but their actions are mere mischief compared to the wholesale criminality of Big Oil. From the Niger Delta to the Middle East, from K Street to Main Street, petrochemical giants lie, cheat, steal, massacre, and lay waste to entire ecosystems. These are the organizations that put our President into office, they are the ones profiteering from the war in Iraq, and their predatory practices impoverish the Third World and the Third Ward alike. You can do an incredible thing to fight them: stop buying their products.

7. Communities Are Made of People, not Parking Lots. One of the most devastating effects of a car-driven lifestyle is isolation. Speed, metal, glass, and rage drive apart families, neighborhoods, races and classes. Without cars, we can and must engage the other members of our society, whether or not it seems convenient at the time. Walking builds relationships, exposes us to the details of our surroundings, helps us think about the place we live in, and even helps local nightlife. Think about the last time you visited a fun destination: a beautiful city center, a park, even a mall. The fun part was probably not the driving, but the walking, people-watching, and perception that took place on foot.

8. Cars Deaden and Destroy Cities. Although our concept of the modern city is inseparable from automobiles, the elevation of auto transit to a universal way of life has put many of our once-proud urban areas into a permanent vegetative state. Communities that once boasted first-rate cultural amenities, downtown living, and real street life are now empty and silent, while outlying suburbs sprawl out absurd distances without actually containing anything interesting. Sprawl is a sad fate for a city, but it may be even sadder for the surrounding countryside. Not everyone is a committed urbanite, but those of us who appreciate the natural beauty of our environment should be even more suspicious of freeway powered shopping corridors and labyrinthine subdivisions. There is a joke in the development community that subdivisions are named after whatever natural feature they destroyed: Cypress Falls, Clear Lake, Westlake. When we drive, we engage in a process that saps our cities of vitality and strains the health of all our natural environments.

9. Local Businesses Need Local Customers. Most of us have felt pride at the success of a local business venture, especially one we feel expresses our values and identity. But that uniqueness competes directly with the mass-produced facelessness that occupies freeway exits and megamalls. Quantity can only defeat quality when people never get a chance to take a closer look, and when they spend so much of their time far from home that nothing seems familiar- except the images they remember from mass marketing campaigns. If you value the kind of cafes, movie theatres, clothing shops and grocery stores your neighbors have to offer, take the time to go there- I bet you can walk.

10. If You Want To Walk Tall, You Have to Walk. To many cultural commentators, the automobile is the embodiment of the American spirit of independence. It is a contraption we invented to traverse the vast spaces of this country, and to some of us it is an expression of our freedom. But there comes a time to recognize the limits of this metaphor and the unfortunate perversion of its premise. Car ads remind us constantly of all the brave unknowns we could explore with an SUV, but few of us have missed the irony of these spots: that most Hummer drivers take them no further from the beaten path than the nearest airport. The reality of cars is the opposite. Many people recognize the stultifying pain of spending all day in their cars, but blame their trapped feelings on broader circumstances. It’s true that the community you live in, where your kids go to school, and your social environment have a big impact on how easy it is to switch to alternative transit. But the car itself is what is keeping you from doing what you want. It’s not impossible to have a life that moves in multiple directions, not just forward at 60mph, trapped by the narrow band of concrete separating you from your community and the world beyond. Next time you decide not to go somewhere because of traffic, not to visit a restaurant because of parking, not to visit relatives because of gas, or not to have a conversation because you can’t hear your loved ones from the back seat, ask yourself whether your car is holding you back. It’s up to you to break free.

As for the drinking questions, that's up to you.

[skillefer]

with Bernard. If I were you...I'd just say, I choose not to.

[jkgyuro]

I appreciate all the help!

Jil

[jkgyuro]

But what is IMO? !

[Bernard]

IMO = In My Opinion

[jkgyuro]

And I'll check out alternative epilepsy treatments!

Right, IMO...

[Georgiagirl88]

Hey Jil,

I used to drink..don't anymore. Although I would love a glass of wine!! Ha! I just sort of stopped when I was trying to get pregnant with our first child and never really started again. Maybe a sip or two here or there. Just for the taste of it. I just don't care to anymore. My body was actually probably telling me not to before I was diagnosed. I also think it's nobodys business, but just say no thanks, I don't drink. Plain and simple. Many people don't drink. It is not a requirement to have fun. I am always the life of any party and I am the sober one!! : )) Seriously!
As for driving..many cities you don't need to. But nobodys business once again. I also feel most people really don't care if they are mature adults. Best of luck to you and your move if you come back to the USA!!

Michelle

[BuckeyeFan]

... if you decide to come back to the states. We will leave a light on for you.

It will like a lady standing at the edge of the water holding a torch.



Welcome to CWE. Even if you stay in Europe, your right next door to this fine house.

[Eyes_herself]

I used to drink, you know the whole college thing, but that only lasted maybe 3 months. I became wretchedly ill after drinking one night and now I have no interest.

I do get strange looks, but I just say ah, the meds get you drunk either way. I can stumble around if I'm adding a dosage and they think I've had a few. Always have a driver!!!

Welcome to CWE! It's a wonderful coping mechanism and a great source for friendship and information.

[Georgiagirl88]

Buckeye,

You are so sweet..always something nice to say!! You are a very kind person!!

Michelle : )) Atlanta
Former Buckeye(age 3) Ha!

Jil..Hope all is well and you are still finding more helpful info. about insurance etc. that we spoke about.

Michelle

[Cinnabar]

Hi - I'm fairly new to the form and just posted the very same question "What will people think of my limitations connected with the outside world e.g. my big thing is what people (especially new people with whom I'd like to get to know) would think when they discover I need to bus it around. I don't live in metropolitis area. Would sharing I can't drive for one year because I have epilepsy drive them away? Could I handle it in a clever, funny, off handed way? "Driving isn't my thing because epilepsy is my thing now. In one year I'll be putting rubber to the road." In a few weeks I'll be venturing out. I've been housebound for over a year (afraid to go out). Crazy making. Last April I had my first grand mal. Next month I was counting on driving - year up by NY State Law. Of course I had to have another one in February and the year driving deprived begins all over again.
Somehow I think we have to present our issue with some sense of off handed humour. Any ideas? Anyone? Laurie
Laurie

[Birdbomb]

Tell them, you're going "green"!

You LIKE riding public transportation!
You get to meet new people everyday! It's always an adventure. And where else can you ride in a $100,000 vehicle?

Or you can say, why do you ask? Why do you want to know?

[Cinnabar]

I like "I'm going Green"- Laurie

[brain]

You don't really need to explain not drinking to anyone IMO. It's pretty common and most people will respect that personal choice.

Not driving does pique people's curiosity (though it really isn't any of their business). Some ideas (facetious or serious):

"I'm training to be Amish."

"Ever hear of road rage?"

"It wouldn't be prudent."

"I'm thinking about the greater good."

Jill,

Welcome to CWE! And in addition to Bernard's
quotes above, here are some others:

"I'm helping saving the Planet Earth"

"With the Gas Prices this High and Insurance
being outrageous, it's cheaper this way."

"I get to meet interesting friendly folks this
way..."

"The accident risk factor is less than if one
was driving in their own vehicle."

"I'm one of those lucky ones that have a
system that runs my way where I can save
cheaper than GEICO, because I pay nothing
on Insurance and you can't beat nothing to
pay and $ave!!"



I love that last quirky-one liner! Feel free
to browse around!

I ride my bicycle around and people DO ask
why I don't drive my car anymore, and I have
remarked that exercise hadn't killed anyone and
people had walked for miles for ages, and I love
to cycle, pedal power is cheaper than what's at
the pump. It really makes them think about it,
and it does strike up conversations ... and they
do admit that "Well .. I do stand to need to loose
some weight here..."

More people in my area have turned to bicycling
where we have bike lanes now on the road ways,
and Cops ARE beginning to write up citations for
Drivers in vehicles who are abusing it (Bike Lanes).
AND PLUS, more and more stores and Plaza strips
and Malls have begun putting out bike racks out
again, because customers have begun riding Bikes
to places. And the good thing is, these folks aren't
buying standard bicycles - they're buying the touring
or mountain bicycles, expensive ones, and Insurance
Companies have begun to write policies for outside
of property (like a vehicle) so they have coverages
for their bicycles and themselves!

Bicycling was common here, but there's been an
explosion of it since the gas is over $3 a gallon and
standing - where many are taking the transit to work
or cycling to work or Bike & Ride.

Cars have quit their horn blowings at cyclists now,
because they've learned it will get them a ticket!
Cyclist shares the road! This area does have a lot
of unmarked patrol cars out here, so you run the
risk of not knowing that the car behind you is an
unmarked patrol car! Not all the patrol cars are the
"newest" car - that 1965 souped up Mustang could
be an unmarked Patrol car, just as well as the
dumpy junky "Columbo's" styled vehicle. You just
never know! They are that sneaky out here!



On the flip-side, Cyclist also have to obey the same
rules of the road as cars do, so they are just as
liable to get citations as a vehicle would if they
violated the rules of the road.

Feel free to browse around here at CWE! We're fully
loaded with all kinds of information galore and fun
stuff!

[jkgyuro]

Unfortunately my neurologist told me I can't ride a bike! But I shouldn't worry so much about what other people think in regards to why I don't drink or drive.........

Thanks for the welcome!

Jil

[Cinnabar]

To Bernard and Jill - Thanks! There's nothing wrong with being a little cryptic, humorous, or touting for the greater good of the earth. I'm a creative writer so I should be able to come up with my own special reply...maybe, "I miss riding the Manhattan buses (I'm in a rural area now) and miss colorful wacky people packed together like sardines. It used to inspire my writing". And that is very true!

I wrote a short allegorical story titled "The Glue Lady of Second Avenue". Inspired from riding the Second Avenue bus. A "real" 20ish girl dressed all in black would sniff glue from a black rag and would occasionally rage at the passengers. Another woman (my creation)is an insipid uptown kind of girl who rode the same bus. She glues her face with makeup and false eyelashes, sprays her skin with self tanner and hair is big from gluish hairspray. The plot mostly involves the latter character. At the end you meet the black drapped glue lady - evolved, pretty, and wearing a white summer dress whereas the uptown girl remains guarded behind too much fuss and gluey cover. A plot is created but at the end the reader, hopefully, questions ... who is the real glue lady of Second Avenue?

Well, I took a "second avenue" here...maybe I'll stick with what I wrote in the first paragraph. Thanks so much for your inspiration. Laurie

[brain]

Unfortunately my neurologist told me I can't ride a bike! But I shouldn't worry so much about what other people think in regards to why I don't drink or drive.........

Thanks for the welcome!

Jil

I make my Doctors nervous about me riding
a bike too - especially when it's not YOUR
normal standard bicycle, but a TOURING RACING
BIKE! I own a 27 speed Trek, the same Lance
Armstrong has, very expensive (I could buy
a car with that) toy! Almost 1 year old, but
my Primary, which I keep it in his office when
I see him, they've seen it, and I baby that
bike to death! It looks nearly brand new,
although the tires itself gives it away that
I've ridden it a lot - I've already gone through
a lot of tubes and have went through several
rubbers (tires) and already a new frame up
front (a little wider in front) because of the way
people drive these days.

These Touring bikes do not have kick stands.
They are so light that you can pick it up with
1 or 2 fingers, they are carbon fiber! It blows
your mind, they look heavy, but once you
pick it up - it's unbelievable! However, my
Doctors knows I take all precautions, I wear
my gears well, and a helmet. I dress as if I'm
in practice runs. While I do have other accessories,
which are removable, because people steal them
(they're worth money, and I already had my head-
light stolen once).

Mountain Bikes on the other hand, are heavy,
so they can put a strain on your body and up
your seizure threshold, but not so with the
touring bike. Where I live, in the northern county
is actually hilly, but I can handle it with this bike,
but south from here, the surface is pretty much
flat so I can breeze by awfully fast and I can be
liable for a speeding ticket if I'm not careful!

:::: EEK! ::::

You could sit down and consider this over with
your Doctors to be reasonable. For my Doctors
KNOWS I will not ride my bike, not this expensive
toy, when I'm out of sync! That's stupid!

Plus I have an Addias Backpack where I store my
groceries or whatever, in my backpack and cycle
home.

It's a good thing because I don't have to walk
anywhere and it's faster for me to bike to and
from the destination and safer than it is for me
to walk. And the other thing is, where I live, 90*
weather is common place, so weighing the balance
there, bicycling is the better option for me than
walking.

Everything is near me, including my Doctor's offices.
So I can get there in a flash and they're happy
with how loaded I am (the bike that is).

Even several my Stores that I shop at, including
the Pharmacy, I'm allowed to park my bike inside
of the store, they keep an eye on it (because it's
so expensive and I'm their regular customer). And
normally they do not permit customers walking in
stores with backpacks, but with me they make an
exception because I have to balance everything
out of what I can get, for everything I have in
there, I have to carry it all home. And there's been
times I have to make 2 trips, like at the grocery
store - I would put the 1st batch in my backpack,
and then come home and then return for the second
batch, and pay for that one and load it up, and I'm
gone. I've had some neighbors, whom I've run into
that happened to be there, that have enabled me
to shop more where I could dismantled my bike
and put it in the back of their SUV or VAN, and
continue to shop and they drop me off.

That's one great think about the Trek! You can
also FLY on an airplane with it!

[BuckeyeFan]

Buckeye,

You are so sweet..always something nice to say!! You are a very kind person!!

Michelle : )) Atlanta
Former Buckeye(age 3) Ha!

What can I say, I am just a big softie.

The USA is far from perfect, but I still love her and that statue.