Just need a hug

[Deb12345]

I know I am being saft but I just need a hug / reassurance. I have been building my hopes up for the last couple of weeks for my results to be back from my week EEG today. I saw my Neurologist this evening and was told he hadn’t received them and will probably have to wait now until my 1st April appointment at the other hospital – I am under two hospitals regarding my epilepsy. I was also told that if the EEG showed up some abnormal activity regarding my heart, I may still have to have something fitted there (what ever that means). The last time I saw my Neurologist I thought he said my heart was ok and now I am being told it may not be – will have to have even more tests done. I am confused. I know my results for both heart and EEG will probably come back fine but I am a worrier and now I have to wait until April to be 100% certain. Worrying / stress unfortunately is a big trigger for my seizures, and with everything that is going on in life at the moment, it’s not good. My Neurologist is increasing my tablets too. Today just feels like yet another set back which I cannot cope with at the moment. I thought at least I would know either way about my results today but no. I know April isn’t a long way away compared to some of you guys who have to wait ages for results / to get an appointment to see a Neurologist but it’s just made me sad / upset. No one at home really understands. My sis said there is nothing wrong with you anymore (haven’t had a tonic-clonic since Aug 09) but she / my family etc don’t experience the auras etc which I do. How’s that normal? Plus I keep being told by both hospitals I attend for my epilepsy, I am an interesting case. Why??? I just need answers. Just need hugs because I feel as though I am going to break down. I have epilepsy. So much going on which I am not copying with i.e. Dad in the process of having chemo for bowel and possible liver cancer and nearly passed out on me last week, couldn’t breath, so had to call for an ambulance – very frightening (he is still poorly now), my pet is really ill so having to look after him, work is stressful, friends aren’t happy and coming to me for advice and wanting me to do things for them, Mom is very stressed out etc. etc. I feel like crying. I am not a very strong person but sometimes feel as though I am the one holding things together. I can’t. Just so, so sad and just want to run away from it all.

[Deb12345]

I am so glad I have found this site, so thank you.

[Abynorml]

Remember to breathe, and to find little moments to enjoy things that relax you and to not focus on the stress, your gonna be able to handle anything life throws at you and there's people out there that have it worse than you, that helps me.

[Nakamova]

Many many many many hugs to you. Doctor/Hospital stress is very high up on the Stress-O-Meter. And you've got it piled on top of family stuff...

If you're up for it, I would recommend getting a little squeaky: Call back and find out WHY your neurologist hasn't received the EEG results. Demand that they send them ASAP -- the results are basically available immediately after the test is done, so it's not one of those things that they can blame on a "busy lab." And make sure you're comfortable with why your neurologist is increasing your dose. And while you're at it find out exactly WHY they think you're an "interesting" case. You deserve some answers!

[Deb12345]

Sorry peops for yesterday evening (UK). Was just having one of those moments, but once I let it all off my chest again it made me feel a little better, then I decided to give my Mom a big hug which I think we both needed. Yep I know there will always be people out there who are worse off than myself, which is why when I have my little spurts known again on here I can't help but feel a little bit guilty, but recommend it to anyone. It really does help. My Mom rang the hospital today whilst I was at work to find out what has happened to my results and apparently there is a back log of around 5 /6 weeks. Oh well need to let it go now and wait until 1st April. There is one thing which we are all looking forward to (mentioned on previous messages) and that’s my sister giving birth to her 1st child in March. A little girl, so going to be an Auntie for the 1st time. She is keeping us all going. She is a little miracle. Making a little cross stitch picture (ted) for her. Thank you Abynorml and Nakamova for your comments. They helped me very much and yes I need to take big breaths when I feel like that again and think to myself life isn’t so bad. As you can tell I feel a lot better today. YIPPEE!!! Thanks again. Debbie xx

[Nakamova]

Glad you're feeling better Deb! I have ten nieces and nephews, and I love being an Aunt...

[seizingbeauty]

((((hug)))))

[bonnie]

Hi Deb,
here is a hug for (you), name is Bonnie I am 53 had epilepsy since I was in my 20's, seizures are active again. I have Grand Mal seizures. Life is hard enough to deal with, without us getting sick too ! I don't know if you are a believer. God is the only One that gets me through the day. I will pray for you and your family.

Blessings & Peace
Bonnie