Losing my battle again

[jv667]

For years, my epilepsy has been controlled reasonably well by medication. I had a few breakthrough seizures, but because I had auras, I generally knew when I woke in the morning that it was going to be one of "those" days, so I shouldn't drive or go anywhere. This all changed about a month ago, when it started out as a normal day, and ended as anything but normal! Without much warning, I had a full blown seizure (with aura) on my way home, tried to pull off the road, but due to construction, had no where to pull off, and ended up in an accident. I was just doors away from my home and tried to make it, but wan't able to. Thankfully no one was hurt (due to my guilt and embarrasment, I wish I had been), but my neighbors property had some damage done, and my car was totaled. I had no idea what I had done when it was over, and it took what seemed like an eternity to come completely out of it. (This is not normal for me).

Since that day, I have had a couple more of my normal complex partial seizures, but I really don't know why! Things were going so well. A few months prior to the seizure, I had had a partial hysterectomy (they left my ovaries). I've also had a problem with my bladder, so I have been on new medications for that. I've had sleep issues for a very long time, and was having a real tough time handling the heat. I really haven't felt like myself for a long time, and to this day, this is still the case. (Even more so, since my independence has been stolen from me). My GP has had some blood tests run to try to rule out different diseases, and "hormone imbalances" and I will be going for an MRI. I feel as though I am losing this battle, and feel so alone. My neurologist doesn't seem to be concerned, as she hasn't even expressed a need to see me - she just told me to up my dilantin dosage. There is a part of me that wants to give up, as this all seems so hopeless. Is it?

[Bernard]

Hi jv667, welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about your seizures. Hopefully your blood tests will offer some evidence of a condition that can be treated and corrected (I wouldn't be surprised if hormonal imbalances are playing a part given the proximity to your hysterectomy).

Your neurologist sounds like a typical specialist doctor to me.

[whittyg]

Hi - even though I'm new here I want you to know that your story touched me. First, I am so sorry for how you feel and what you are going through. I hope I can help a little. I was doing really well too for so long (five years without a tonic clonic, although I was having simple partials daily) and then things just started to get worse and I started having more and more simple partials until I was having around five to seven a day - and then one day I had a tonic clonic in my sleep and wet myself. The neurologist raised my dose of the drug I'm already on to it's max and that's it. She said that I probably just got used to the dose I was on and it stopped working. Like you, I don't sleep well. I was so depressed. I still am. I felt like after so long of doing so well, it just went right back to nothing. I'm not trying to compare this experience to yours - you were in a car accident (and I'm so sorry). Just try and hang in there and get through this.