Moving On!

[BensalemAngler]

Today is the beginning of a new day. I am over being scared and the feeling of not having control. It is time to start living again, going out to dinner, taking my family fishing, going to the store, and just being with my family. I will not be controlled by this anymore.

I have to understand there is nothing more I can do. And I can handle it. No more woe is me's, or whys. Who cares this is my life so it is time to start dealing.

Things must get better and if they do not, then so be it. I am arrogant and strong.

Side note, does anyone have premonitions. I use to think I was just jinxing my son. But when I look back I have predicted 6 of 8 of my son's szs. Sometimes I see them other times I just have a feeling and know. I saw the one at the beach days before it happened, I got a since a couple of hours before the last 2. When my son had his last one at school I felt it before and during it happening. Odd I know but who knows.

It is time to be strong...

I will have to give up on me but hey I am 34 now this is no time for me. I do not need dreams or to recharge my batteries.

[Bernard]

There was a time (when Stacy was uncontrolled and having tonic clonic seizures once a week and atonic seizures and myoclonic/complex partial seizures seizures daily) when I was living on pins and needles. I heard every noise in the house. I had Superman hearing. I jumped at the slightest noise to make sure Stacy had not fallen or hurt herself. It got so bad that anxiety/worrying was affecting my ability to think/concentrate and function.

Then I had an epiphany that all the stress and worry I was holding inside wasn't helping anything. I realized that I just needed to live in the moment and if Stacy did have a seizure, I would respond as best as was humanly possible. So I relaxed and rolled with the flow.

It's easy to describe this now, but I don't think this is something I could have consciously forced myself to do. It had to come to me like a revelation/realization of a profound truth.

Fortunately, Stacy managed to get her seizures mostly under control shortly thereafter. Hang in there. The sun will shine again.

[speber]

I have thoughts that scare me all the time if I let myself believe they are premonitions. Instead I like to hope that they're either:

• fantastic imagination on the part of a 'funky' mind....which means they will go away soon and are not real........

or in the worst case scenario...

• a connection\view into parallel universee's somehow...which ALSO means everything HERE is fine...but unfortunately something bad is happening somewhere else!......deep, huh?

So far, none of the thoughts have turned out to by bonafide premonitions so I'm able to comfort myself with this logic. Whatever works, right?


Follow it with some Star Trek to make myself feel goofy for even contemplating the latter....and I'm back on track.

[Bernard]

Re: premonitions - I think a lot of the time we pick up on cues/clues subconsciously and intuitions/premonitions are really just subconscious realizations/conclusions about the cues/clues.

[speber]

Seriously, if anything comes off as a 'premonition'....maybe documenting the situation at that moment in time can find some commonalities over time for you!

[TeeTees]

Hey BensalemAngler,

That's the spirit mate. Glad to hear you're not gonna let it get you down. You are definitely MORE than the li'l problems we all have, and you cannot let it control YOU.

On a sadder note, you will still get "why me" days, and mood-swings, but hey, you'll always get through them.

I'm currently having a real crap time at the mo with my mood-swings....I dunno if it's something to do with my recent examination ? Who know's ? But, one day I'll wake up and it'll all be gone again, and life will be a beach.

You just have to keep looking at yourself, and counting your blessings. Even though we're not the "luckiest" people alive, we certainly AREN'T the most unluckiest ! There will always be someone worse off than you.

So hey, leaving it all on a good note.....really glad to hear you've come out off the other end of the tunnel, and found that light you deserve.

[TeeTees]

Seriously, if anything comes off as a 'premonition'....maybe documenting the situation at that moment in time can find some commonalities over time for you!

I knew you were gonna say that !....

[RobinN]

I remember a one time when I hit rock bottom. Having been told my daughter might be having mini-strokes, We had been canceled by her pediatrician, and another the day before her appointment with a new pediatrician we were canceled by that office too. I was so ready to put my fist through the wall. I really lost it. Then I realized that I would have to make another doctors appt for myself if I broke my fist, so I backed away. Never felt like that before.

I have learned so much from this forum. So I am glad that you have joined us.

You say you will have to give up on you? I don't think that is true. You might have to "share" you, but not give up on your dreams. I finally realized my passion in the middle of this new episode in my life. It has given me a safe place to fall, as well as a better sense of reality. You can get wrapped up in this thing called E. Remember you can't care for your son, to the best of your ability, if you don't occasionally take care of yourself.

[BensalemAngler]

I have been documenting for years. I just feel things I just thought I could just read people well, very well. I have always seemed to be one step ahead. But now with all of this, well it just has me thinking that is all.

Now if I could predict the lotto so I would not have to work

[TeeTees]

Now if I could predict the lotto so I would not have to work

Just remember who your friends are.....buddy !!

[angel]

Re: premonitions - I think a lot of the time we pick up on cues/clues subconsciously and intuitions/premonitions are really just subconscious realizations/conclusions about the cues/clues.

bernard,

I have had premonitions that actually came true... & also have had the deja vu thing that nothing happened after... for me there is a difference the "for me strong deja vu = seizure" the others premonitions always come as very vivid dreams while im asleep not seizures... they are different and its not something that happens every night
or even every month....


love angel

[angel]

BensalemAngler,

I feel that when we love someone with all our heart like our children and husbands wives, etc We become highly sensitive persons....

I went to one of my doctors who actually told me I was just a highly sensitive person... and put me on knlopin (simple partial) so i could deal with stresses that were going on..... actually after i can get my keppra adjusted want off it makes me feel numb...

anyways, here is a link if ya have an open mind feel free to read it

http://www.hsperson.com/


love angel

[BensalemAngler]

Thanks angel, I will check it out.

[speber]

[angel]

love angel