need your advice please

[jmr987]

Hi there. I am the mother of a young woman with epilepsy ( she is 25)who has worked up the courage to make a big change in her life. She is a US citizen but has lived in the UK since she was 2. She now wants to move back to the US. I am delighted that she finally has the guts to take on the world but I have an enormous amount of concerns and questions. Her medication keeps her seizures under control and she works at a very demanding job caring for young offenders. This is the type of work she would wish to find in the US. She is going to stay with a family friend until she finds employment. I need to know about the difficulties that she may have in finding health insurance. Also how does one find a doctor in the US? Here she has a general practioner who prescibes her drugs. is it the same in the US? She has been seizure free for more that 2 years so I would hope that she could learn to drive over there. What else do I need to look into/worry about? I do not want to stifle her enthusiasm but I am her mum and I worry that she does not see the bigger picture. Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks

[forward2007]

A lot of the employers in the US would include health insurance as one of her benefits. Otherwise she can get it if she pays for it herself. It isn't cheap if she has to pay for it herself though. I don't know how much health insurance costs in the UK.

[paradise survivor]

Hello to Mum from across the pond! It really depends on what state your daughter intends to move to regarding health insurance and driving regulations. Some states have stricter regs regarding driving. The state thate I am from requires that you be seizure free for 6months but they define a seizure as an episode where consiousness (spelling) is lost. So I take that as -if I don't hit the ground I'm ok. Of course this is also a state that you are insured either by employer or the state offers insurance for those that don't have. Not having insurance is almost non existant. We even have state sanctioned medical marajuana for epilepsy (as well as other health issues). So my point is do your homework as to where you want to live and check out the state for regulations and requirements!

[Bernard]

Hi there. I am the mother of a young woman with epilepsy ...

Hi jmr987, welcome to the forum.

... Her medication keeps her seizures under control ...

Awesome!

... I need to know about the difficulties that she may have in finding health insurance.

I think it depends a lot on the employer she finds. Most of the larger companies have insurance programs that will cover employees with pre-existing conditions I think.

Also how does one find a doctor in the US? Here she has a general practioner who prescibes her drugs. is it the same in the US?

Generally, you have to search to find a doctor/nuerologist/epileptologist who takes whatever insurance you have or you pay out of pocket. It's up to the patient to seek out/choose the doctor they want to see.

Any doctor can write a prescription, but most doctors wont do so for a condition they are not comfortable treating. Since she is well controlled, I think just about any neurologist (and many general practitioners) would be happy to take her on.

She has been seizure free for more that 2 years so I would hope that she could learn to drive over there.

If you can get a note from her current docs stating this, I think it would help her new doc/neurologist. I don't think she will have any problem with the DPS in getting a driver's license as long as she passes the written and driving tests (we drive on the right side of the road here ).

Here's a handy link: driving laws by state

What else do I need to look into/worry about?

Boys?

Cheers.

[RobinN]

jmr - Welcome to CWE
I too am a parent of a daughter with a seizure disorder. I can't wait until I can say she has been seizure free for 2 yrs. These days I am excited to say 2 weeks.

I have a good feeling your daughter will do just fine. Tell her good luck, and if she needs us we are all here, to offer suggestions.

[jmr987]

Thank you for all your help. I am not sure how to do the fancy quotations things in my reply ( and I have also already made a mistake and wiped the whole of my message and am now having to write it again)

Robin, It has not been easy getting to where we are. She had a great deal of anger when she was diagnosed as a teenager and really refused to accept, discuss or manage her condition. After several really bad situations, she finally, with time I think realised she needed to wise up. Thanks for your good wishes

Bernard, Thanks for the sugestions and the link to the driving stuff. She is moving to New York State. She eventually wants to work in NYC. We, her dad and I, are terrified. We live in a village of 1500.

Although we understand the lure of the US, I feel she is maybe biting off more that she can chew. she will have to save enough to live on, get insurance etc until she finds a job. All of that will be more difficult than it would be here. All of her health care is free as are her drugs here. She has a job and lives in an apartment in a nearby city. To be honest I dont know why she wants to put herself in auch a scary situation. TO be honest I do not know how I will cope!!

Anyway thanks again to all.

[brain]

JMR!

Welcome to CWE! Glad to have you here!

First of all, you report that your daughter is 25 now,
so technically and legally she's an adult; your greatest
worry should be that she will be phoning you with
WEDDING PLANS!



I wouldn't worry so much about biting off more than
one can chew just as much than you should be sitting
there worrying about her! You should be glad for her
that she's out there enjoying life and moving forward
and being responsible!

[BuckeyeFan]

Welcome to our house.

First, since you are her Mum, you are going to worry no matter what she does. That just goes with this parent thing. I have 28, 23, + 20 year old daughters. I worry about them all the time. Its a parent's job.

What is really cool is that you are reaching out for the information she will need when she gets here.

Finding a primary Doctor should be pretty easy and they will eventually be able to send her on to a neurologist. A good idea would be to have as much information passed on from her current doctors, otherwise they will be starting from scratch here.

The most important question I would ask is what are her current medications. Not all of the meds used in the UK are available here or they may be slightly altered. To me that would be very important so that she keeps these under control.

If she is going into the field of youth offenders, it is a good possibility she will get a government job with the local or state level. Both would have pretty good insurance.

[Bernard]

Thank you for all your help. I am not sure how to do the fancy quotations things in my reply ...

You are most welcome for any help we can provide. You can use the quote button and some copy & paste ninja skills to do the fancy stuff.

Bernard, Thanks for the sugestions and the link to the driving stuff. She is moving to New York State. She eventually wants to work in NYC. We, her dad and I, are terrified. We live in a village of 1500.

New York State outside of NYC is fairly rural in nature from what I understand. Inside NYC proper, she won't need to drive. They have excellent mass transportation.

FWIW, one of my wife's cousins moved to NYC with $500 to her name. She shared a small apartment the size of a hallway with two roommates when she first got there. She got a good job and has been climbing the ladder of success ever since.

[RobinN]

I am from a very small town in California, near Los Angeles and I rarely have ever used mass transit. When I moved to San Francisco after college, I commuted to work by bus and ferry.

I remember my first trip to N.Y. after graduation from college (my husband being from there) I was overwhelmed. However, from my many excursions back to the Big Apple, I now even ride the train from destination to destination. Taxi's are another great way to get around. Walking is a priority.

Living there I am sure she will get into the swing of things rather quickly. The city has been cleaned up quite a bit, and I even have felt safe there alone at night in most areas.

Adventures are fun...

[jmr987]

Again, thank you for all your very kind and encouraging messages. I dont know why I did not contact this forum before.

Her medication is Lamotragine.

Its hard to let go. . . For years, I lived in a state of 'high alert' waiting for yet another call from someone to say she had had a seizure and was sitting dazed and confused somewhere and could I go get her. its quite hard to 'trust' her to look after herself. what happens when I am thousands of miles away and cant go help her? However, in the last two years she has got things sorted so I know I should worry only in the way any other parent would. I think it is the 'what ifs' that eat me up.

Buckeyefan, ( what is that btw??) I know what you mean about worrying about them. I have 4 other kids and my youngest one went off to Australia for a year by herself when she was 18. BUT I didnt worry half as much about her then as I do everyday about her sister. I dont love the younger one any less but I felt more confident in her ability to deal with whatever came her way. I feel bad about that and wish I knew how to get to worrying 'normally' about the older one.

Again, thank you all for your kind words and good advice.

[brain]

Her medication is Lamotragine.

Buckeyefan, ( what is that btw??)

We have Lamotrigine aka Lamitcal here!
So no worries about the meds!



Buckeye is the name of the seed that
comes from a tree.


This is a Buckeye Seed



This is a Buckeye Tree


Ohio State University is home of the Buckeyes




The Buckeye Tree is the State Tree of Ohio, which
is one of the 50 States of the United States of
America. Buckeye Trees are Northern Trees.

Hope that answers all your questions!

[BuckeyeFan]

Brain did a great job explaining the Buckeye. It is our State Mascot and the Mascot of The Ohio State University. I am a HUGE FAN of both.

The name buckeye came from the resemblance of the seed to the eye of the deer (buck is a male) that are so plentiful in the mid-west. It is technically a Horse Chestnut tree.

The picture of the stadium that she has is the Ohio State football stadium with the marching band doing their traditional "Script Ohio".

Beyond the stadium is a campus of over 50,000 students including a few thousand foreign students. OSU is one of the largest universities in the USA.

Just to the south of the stadium (right of the picture) is something we are really proud of in Ohio. It is the University Hospital which is actually a group of top ranked hospitals and research institutes. This includes The Aurther James Cancer Hospital where my Mom and Sister are undergoing their cancer treatments. I am a HUGE Fan of that as well.

Ohio is also the home of aviation. It started with the Wright brothers who invented the first powered airplane. It continued through Neil Armstrong who was the first man on the moon.

[RobinN]

Great history lesson you two.
Nice to know there are other Universities besides USC and UCLA ( I am not a fan of either) If my school had a mascot I am sure it would have been the sable (our paintbrushes were made from this)

[skillefer]

Hi jmr! Welcome to the forum. I think my mom probably felt the same way you do when I moved half way across the country. Something that your daughter should do, if at all possible, is take a copy of her medical records with her when she moves. That way, her new doctor won't have to order new tests and will have a better idea of her history.

[jmr987]

THank you for the lessonBuckeyefan and Brain. My Husband is from Virginia so I have not heard about much north of the Mason Dixie.

Skillefer, I am sure I could learn a lot from you. She has set the date for October so I have a while to relax and get used to it. What I dont want is for her to worry about me worrying about her!!

I need to make a list of what I need to know to feel confident about her adventure. I dont want to let my worries diminish her excitement. Whay did no one tell me how hard being a parent was going to be even AFTER they have left home. I now look back on the time they were all at home as the good old days when being a parent was actually very straight forward! Never thought it at the time though. As my late father in law used to tell me " every stage no matter how awful will pass and be replaced by one that is worse". How right he was!!

[brain]

To brag more from Buckeye:

From Wright-Patterson AFB Museum
(I've been there several times and love it)

You can SPEND the whole DAY out there and
NOT FINISH IT ALL!









CLICK ON THE BANNER BELOW to visit their website:

[BuckeyeFan]

The Air Force Museum is huge and probably only second to the Smithsonian. They have some of the original Wright Flyers all the way up to the most recently retired Air Force One.