New and scared

[bklyndeb]

I am new to all of this. I am 18 weeks pregnant and was diagnosed with epilepsy when i was 10 weeks pregnant. Now that i started reading more on E it seems that i was catching auras/seizures for about a year without knowing what it was that was going on. It was the weird dejavu feeling but i would not lose Consciousness. When I went to the doctor about eight months ago and tried to explain what I was feeling he recommended that I go see a physiatrist as it seemed I was trying to remember an experience I might have had when I was a child. I knew that was not the case so I just dealt with the déjà-vu feeling since it was only happening once a month or so. When I became pregnant I started zoning out and losing consciousness. I was looking into space and not knowing what happened once I was conscious again. This happened several times in a matter of weeks and my boss caught it one time and drove me to my new medical doctor who referred me to a neurologist. My EEG came back normal but when I explained my symptoms to her and told her I know something is wrong she referred me to a specialist and they did an in hospital EEG on me which finally had me diagnosed with epilepsy. I was in complete shock as I have never suffered from this or have a family history of it. I was put on Keppra which did not help and makes me angry all the time. My neurologist just put me on Dilantin several weeks ago and I have to stay on both meds for another several weeks until she gets my blood results back and takes me off keppra. I cry everyday and feel like I am hurting this child taking these meds. I feel like if anything happens to this baby it will be my fault and that is something hard to live with. I don’t know if the crying and being so depressed everyday is because of meds or my hormones going crazy since I am pregnant and this is my first time being pregnant. This is a lot to deal with and I don’t know if I will be able to keep my job as I have to miss so much. I am scared that these might become grand-mal seizures. Dealing with all this and personal issues has me devastated. They can’t do an MRI until after I give birth. No one understands because they do not have this illness. My husband is a great support and I feel so guilty putting him through all of this crying and venting every day. . What gets me so angry is that I just found out I spent over 23k on the hospital stay and these Doctors still can’t give me answers. Ok I just needed to vent some. Thank you so much for listening.

[Zoofemme]

Hi and welcom to the forum

You will find that there are several members with E here who have given birth and the babies were just fine and are a joy to their moms

Oy...I would say that you have been dealt a double whammy on the emotion front though...part of that could definitely be the meds; Keppra is famous for causing "Kepprage", I'm sure hormones are a factor and you have the issues that come with being newly diagnosed. Its fantastic that you have a supportive husband!

Have you talked to your doctors about all of the emotional issues you are experiencing? You might think about talking to a counselor, therapist or someone of that nature. Sometimes it is better to "dump" on a complete stranger to alleviate the stress at home. That way hubby can just be loving support and you don't feel so guilty? Or, you can just save money and vent here in the Padded Room...that helps many of us Sometimes we get answers to things we might have overlooked as well like meds, dosages, etc.

I hope you enjoy your visit here. Bernard has created a wonderful site for those of us with E to partake in. You couldn't find a better bunch of folks to talk to I don't think.

Beth

[bklyndeb]

Hello Zoofemme, very nice meeting you. Yes i have spoken to my Doctor about my emotional issues and he thinks it my be caused because of my pregnancy. He is taking me off of Keppra because i am still having seizures. I just hope that once i am off of Keppra i get better. There is not much they can due until i give birth because there are only a few meds they recomend while you are pregnant. He also wants to do an MRI to try to get more answers. I think most of the emotional issues is because all of this is new to me. I tried to get pregnant for over a year and thought that it will never happen. I wanted a baby so bad and never expected to feel so depressed. I thought i would be the happiest pregnant person in the world but things dont work out the way you plan all the time i guess. I am just afaid of what the future has in store for me.

[epileric]

Try to remember that like Zoofemme said, Keppra is notorious for messing with peoples emotions in ways that really aren't much fun. A lot of people say vitamine B6 helps that.

[RobinN]

Hello Deb - I just want to clarify that Epilepsy is not an illness. Epilepsy is a label for the known symptoms called seizures. You are having seizures because your seizure threshold is low. Everyone has a seizure threshold.

It sounds like for most of your life you were seizure free. You need to start asking yourself what has changed over time to cause your seizure threshold to become so low.
There are ways to be proactive to raise the threshold again.
(of course this is assuming that you have not had a head injury, virus, etc)

[KellyD]

Hello! I was diagnosed with the same seizures you are having in 2008 after the birth of my 1st child. My big fear was getting pregnant again and what my medication or seizures would do to my baby. 11 weeks ago I gave birth to a very healthy baby boy and he is just wonderful. Someone on here gave me the advice that worrying about your baby won't help anything so try to enjoy your pregnancy. I know that is so difficult with everything that is going on. it was hard enough for me to deal with my diagnosis when I wasn't pregnant so i can only imagine how difficult and confusing all of this is for you. Best of luck to you and your baby, I hope they can get your meds right soon so you can start to feel better.

[Nakamova]

Fluctuations in estrogen levels can lower seizure threshold. Your pregnancy may have been what pushed you over the "edge". And during pregnancy, hormone levels can continue to fluctuate so that can make maintaining consistent levels of meds difficult since the hormones and meds interact.

I do think you feel better once off the Keppra. And make sure your ob-gyn and your neurologist are on the same page. It would be great if your neurologist has a lot of experience with pregnancy and seizure disorders -- if not, you might want to get a referral for a different neurologist.

[bklyndeb]

Thanks Robin for your reply. No i have had no head injuries and no known virus. They have done so many test with the pregnancy and also a head scan to look for clots in my brain. Maybe they will find something when they do an MRI after i give birth. Tons has changed in my life the last two years. My stress level has been a lot higher than ever before with purchasing my first home and hubby losing his job for a year after that etc. etc. The de-javu feelings started around last year. Yes i am hoping that it is the hormone levels and once i have my little sunshine the seizures will go away. This forum has helped a lot. you guys are great.

[bklyndeb]

Awww Kelly congratulations on your new baby and i am glad he is a healthy little one. My OB tells me i should be fine considering that i was not taking any meds in my first trimester and most of the defects are caused at that time if they are caused at all. Yes i have read so many post here of women having healthy babies and that gives me so much hope. I will love whatever God gives me but i would hate for my baby to have to live with a defect because of me. Everyone has told me i am doing the right thing by taking my meds and trying to avoid my baby losing oxygen. Maybe one day they will find a cure for this and it will help our future generations. I also read what others went through back in the 60's when they were locked up in hospitals treated really bad because they thought it was a mental illness. that was really sad. It's funny how much i have learned about epilepsy now that i have been diagnosed and how much my friends and family have researched. It makes me smile when they come up to me asking if i have had any auras today when we knew nothing about this before since i am the first one in my circle that has had it. Thinking about what others are dealing with like Grand Mals and other illnesses like Cancer, HIV, AIDS, Etc makes me feel selfish for complaining about this but its just that it is all new to me.