I never was part of an online community before, but I've recently been officially diagnosed with partial generalized seizures. I say officially because I had several seizures in the past but was never accurately told what the problem was. I was on phenobaribtal for over twelve years with what I considered terrible side effects. Then I was off medication and seizure free for four years. This past year, I have had several seizures in seven months. I started treating with a wonderful doctor. Had a video EEG and MRI. It seems they have located the problem and are treating with Lamictal--a good drug, which I feel has very little side effects for me.
So what's the problem right?
I don't know. I had the last follow up with my doctor a few days ago after two months of testing and worrying about what was on my brain, and when I thought I would feel relief at the good diagnosis, I feel incredibly sad and depressed and afraid that nothing will be back to normal. A friend of mine says that all of the years I have been in a kind of denial about my epilepsy--believing that with the four-year hiatus I was somehow cured, and now I am just dealing with the confrontation with denial. I don't know if this is correct. I just feel sad and crying a lot and when I usually know the root causes of such feelings, these days I don't know anything.
I also feel totally unjustified in my feelings because I read about terrible cases where people are suffering from daily seizures that prevent them from working and living a relatively stable life. I feel I should just be happy my problem is controlled and move on. But I don't feel that way.
If anyone has some helpful advice, I would appreciate it. I made an appointment to speak with someone at the Epilepsy Foundation. I am hoping they can tell me I am not crazy.
So what's the problem right?
I don't know. I had the last follow up with my doctor a few days ago after two months of testing and worrying about what was on my brain, and when I thought I would feel relief at the good diagnosis, I feel incredibly sad and depressed and afraid that nothing will be back to normal. A friend of mine says that all of the years I have been in a kind of denial about my epilepsy--believing that with the four-year hiatus I was somehow cured, and now I am just dealing with the confrontation with denial. I don't know if this is correct. I just feel sad and crying a lot and when I usually know the root causes of such feelings, these days I don't know anything.
I also feel totally unjustified in my feelings because I read about terrible cases where people are suffering from daily seizures that prevent them from working and living a relatively stable life. I feel I should just be happy my problem is controlled and move on. But I don't feel that way.
If anyone has some helpful advice, I would appreciate it. I made an appointment to speak with someone at the Epilepsy Foundation. I am hoping they can tell me I am not crazy.