Online dating with epilepsy

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urza3277

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Has anyone here every had any real success meeting people online? If so how far did it go? If you didn't have any success why not? How do you normally meet people otherwise?

I recently was talking to this cute guy online and he wanted to go for a beer which I prolly would of except I can't drive living here in PA you need to be seizure free for 6 months. As soon as I told this guy I can't drive he stopped messaging me right away. My first reaction was one of anger but then I took a step back and looked at it again and thought to myself he was prolly a jerk anyways. Then I thought I should just put that I have Epilepsy in my profile then it won't come as a surprise to people but then I would worry that no one would message me. I was wondering if anyone out there has had similar experiences and how you handled it.

Thanks!
 
I've met 2 of my 'long-term' partners online, not on dating sites though- just shared interest forums.

We eventually met up, kept seeing each other, and started living together.

Both of them knew about my E and it was never a problem for them. The main problem was from my side- I just couldn't stand to be a jerk to them coz of kepprage/depression etc, so in the end I split up with them :(

The net is just a microcosm of TRW- yeah there's loads of jerks out there, but there's also some wonderful people :)
 
I understand the Keppra Rage thing completely and not wanting to be with someone cause you always feel like your treating them like shit. Some times I don't even mean too but I just can't help it you know. fecking sucks. I also take Keppra I may not have mentioned that. And your right not everyone is a jerk. I still talk to the one guy I dated years ago and were friends now I think. I just wish we could have normal relationships without the extra baggage I guess. =(
 
Yeah nobody needs the extra baggage- relationships are hard enuff as it is!

Thing is, *everyone* comes with their own baggage, but if it's meant to be then I'm a firm believer that it will be ;)
 
Has anyone here every had any real success meeting people online? If so how far did it go? If you didn't have any success why not? How do you normally meet people otherwise?

Never really tried the online thing , maybe iam too shy for that.
On the other hand when I met my late wife it was just fate. She left class and had a grand-mal right there on the grass and the circle of on lookers did nothing to help....but I did and even walked her home . the rest is history.So I think sometimes the best relationships start off when you lease expect them to.
 
Ay-men to that! I met my first online partner when she was scolding me for breaking forum rules :)
 
That's great that you were brave enough to help her. Most would just turn away. I know for me personally E has really killed or at the least contributed to the loss of relationships even if it was'nt the deciding factor. I wish I could get out more and go to places to meet people who share interests with me but I can't. I know I need to go to a city where I can just walk and meet others. Living in Mennonite country can be really hard when you can't drive. Thanks for the responses!
Cheers!
 
I also live in PA, pretty much in the middle of farm land. There's no public transportation within walking distance. And the closest really only goes to Pittsburgh, which is a good hour from where I live.

The guy I was dating when I had my first seizure broke up with me, actually told my mom he didn't want to see me anymore, didn't say it to my face. I just thought he stopped calling. I had to move back home with my parents and he lived about and hour away from there so it was hard to get together. Plus I lost a good bit of memory after my first seizure and didn't know who he was. Didn't get upset about 'breaking up with him', if you want to put it that way.

I never got on line to try to meet someone. I'm pretty easy to talk to and I tried to get out as much as I could after I moved backed home with my family or friends. I met my now husband at a Kansas concert about 10 years ago. He had trouble meeting people too because he was divorced and had a kid, no one wanted to deal with that he met. He was afraid that I had given him a fake number and when he would call it he'd get some old lady who would say 'I don't live in Kansas!' (it's a joke we have with each other now)

On our first date my family and I told him I had epilepsy, just so he'd know what to do if I had a seizure. I was completely up front with him on that date - I told him about having epilepsy, I couldn't drive and couldn't/didn't want to have children. I just wanted him to know a little about me to make sure we weren't wasting our time with each other.

I had my first seizure in front of him about 2 weeks after we started dating. It was a pretty bad one and ended up in the ER. Everyone thought for sure he'd be gone after seeing what I was actually like but he said I was great and wasn't going anywhere.

So now - after I don't know how many seizures, trips to the ER, dr visits and so much more he's still around. You may have to give it some time but the right one will come along. Good luck!
 
Dating shmating. I don't have the mental energy to think about it much less go out and make it happen right now :)
 
I am trying online dating no luck agreed to meet someone to meet at a curry house but she changed her mind hours before, I would not put you have E on your profile if you do you are asking for no reply, I would contact someone if I liked the profile if they said they had E but that's because I have it and understand it
 
I helped my brother with his online profile and ever since, he has been enjoying himself. Its cool because he puts his condition out there in the open and still have women interested in him. if you havent tried it yet, its definitely a comfortable place to find someone.
 
Craigslist is the place I've met the most woman on. Then there is Plenty of Fish which is a free site. Another one i had success on was Yahoo dating which was taken over by , shucks i can't think of the company right now. Damn medicine. Doh!$@

Just be careful, there are a lot of people out there wanting to take advantage of you through pity and working on your emotions. I get the usual "I'm in Africa and my father passed away and i now inherited his mine, but i need money to get back to the states". Things like that are just a scam. Never send money Western Union to anyone in thinking that they will use it to come see u. :) I normally like to talk to them on IM, that way i can find out what they are about. Always talk to someone local, for dating, normally the farther away ones are the scams. I've went as far as looked for the IP on there emails, in the header section of the email, once i have that, i can look up there ip and find out there location. Read the warnings that the dating sites have about scams/abuses that are known to happen.

One story i have, i emailed this one woman that was in a wheel chair, she wasn't bad looking, so i emailed her and we started to talk on IM, Instant messenger, well we were getting along great. We communicated for a few hrs, then the conversation went something to the effect where she was telling me how guys as soon as they found out she was in a wheel chair would just leave and never get back to her. Then i told her i don't have any problems with that, saying we all have our disabilities in one way or the other. Then i figured she understands about disabilities, maybe will be understand mine. So i started to tell here about my brain tumor and how it left me with seizures. Strangler enough she said she had to go. I tell people she basically got out of her wheel chair and ran. Never saw her on IM again.

Just be careful, talk first on IM and if that works out well, then talk to them on the phone. If that works out arrange a meeting, in a public place, i normally insist on Morning coffee or tea. One woman insisted on meeting in the evenings and refused to talk on the phone, i didn't care for that and it was like bye bye. If something doesn't feel right, then more then likely it's not right. Better safe then sorry.
 
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Zolt said:
Always talk to someone local, for dating, normally the farther away ones are the scams.
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mmm...no. Not so much. Presuming you're up for a long distance relationship, which is a lot to assume, not all people who live farther away are scammers. I'm not the dating site type but I'd like to think I could join any of yours and not be marginalised and prejudged because I live in Africa. Then there's the stories of true love found over long distances: A friend met her current husband online years back. He lived in the US, she lived in South Africa, and they got married a year later. He moved here, and they take a lot of holidays to the US. She's 50 years old and has finally found her soul mate--farther afield.
 
I have the best girlfriend now. We met on line (and yest a dating site) She lives 2,000 miles away but it is so great. We are the perfect match. It has been about 15 months now and she will be moving out to my town in late summer this year. I was shocked when i started telling her ALL about me and seizures and everything and kepprage etc. And she started doing research about it all and to see how she could help me.
Don't get me wrong, we started emailing long letters for months before i flew out there to meet her. and we skype everyday now and fly to see each other at least once a month. She is coming out here in a week and i am looking at tickets for April to go there. If you buy early they are cheap. I would say do not give up and also make it be ok if you haven't found someone yet. Be happy now even if it takes a long, long time. I am so grateful i met this one.
 
kirsten said:
Presuming you're up for a long distance relationship, which is a lot to assume, not all people who live farther away are scammers.
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I absolutely agree, a lot of love has been found long distance, i'm not saying anything against that. I'm just trying to explain the downfall/pitfalls when doing online dating in the so called free mediums. Now, online group chat forums are pretty good way to meet as well. Love can come from all directions.

Long distance relationships take a lot of time, whereas if i want to meet someone for coffee, then they will need to be local. Before my tumor was found, i was on those sites a lot and yes, i did get scammed. And i've noticed that the university for scammers is in Africa, LAGOS. The emails i've gotten from there were all scammers. The 2 that actually scammed me, one was from Russia and the other one was from South Africa. Now don't get me wrong, they are all over the world now. These are all from personal experiences going back from a long time ago. So i'm just saying to be safe.


:piano: :pop:
 
Ive tried plenty of fish, and meet me, met a few women there, but when they see that I am disabled because I have epilepsy, Stephens Johnson Syndrome, a collapsed spine with cage around it, rods and plates in my back a level 3 fusion, diabetes(recently diagnosed) and restless leg syndrome I think that about covers it, oh and yes I still walk, they either quit responding never hear from them or they have some excuse. A couple of them wanted to go out on a date just so they could ride in my 78 Corvette thats just sad so I gave up.
 
I feel so much better reading this, I find it hard to date, online or otherwise, men just don't want to know u when u got epilepsy, they can't understand why you're tired, or why u can't drink alcohol or why u don't drive - even if they don't see u having a seizure, & my epilepsy is pretty well controlled with topamax
I've given up on men & ever finding love
 
Lynda1 don't give up I know it's hard I have been using online dating for 5 years I'm 25 never had a girlfriend and still a virgin but I just keep on trying (I get knocked down
But I get up again
Their never gonna keep me down)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Lynda1 said:
I've given up on men & ever finding love
Click to expand...

:ponder: please don't think that way lynda (((hugs)))

1: a REAL man doesn't walk away or make you feel like shit b/c you have a disease; if he's interested, he's interested (and does deserve the truth up front).
2: everyone has something wrong, even if it's minor, they have shit to deal with too.
3: epilepsy is shockingly common, you're not some mongoloid and any guy who looks at you that way can fuck off.
4: though it's nice that it's common (the more people who admit it to their doctors they have seizures, or atleast feel like something's wrong, the more get diagnosed and it adds to the astounding number of us globally- 70 million)... the other side is that it's life-threatening.
5: regarding #4................ being with someone does not come first, WE DO. it's hard, it sucks, and sometimes we just want to throw it all away, but it is VITAL, and therefore comes before any man, even the one you're with when necessary (ask many women on here, i'm one of them).
6. when we put ourselves first it means we're doing our utmost best to fight for our lives; a man worth his salt will admire that strength, and that admiration is part of a great desire to be with you.

...and trust me you won't see him coming ;)
 
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