Saturday night down in the dumps!

[Nicki270275]

Hi I am Nicki and I could really do with some help. I was diagnosed with temporal lobe sleep epilepsy in 2006 after a number of sleep related episodes occuring in the year previous. I was put on Lamotrigine in 2006 and to be fair its been fantastic in as much as I was seizure free from 2006 to 2008 when I had a seizure whilst pregnant! The dose was then increased from 250mg to 300mg per day which seemed to control the seizures and I now have a beautiful son.
I have had quite alot of long term memory loss but I am very lucky with a very supportive husband and family, however I think my emotions/feelings have changed alot and I feel they are just getting worse.
I go through stages of feeling paranoid that nobody cares, that I am boring, that people hate me and friends now see me as a burden. I hate facebook because I can see people that I know that have gone out and I start to obsese about why I wasn't invited (some friends I only know through work so with my sensible head on I know I wouldn't be invited normally anyway) I go through days where I am checking my phone every 15 minutes just to see if somebody has text me. If I do go out then I will spend at least the following morning obsessing about whether I made an idiot of myself in anyway and secondly making sure I have remembered everything that happened throughout the evening so I don't forget it!
Its madness as when I actual think sensibly I know that the whole world doesn't revolve around me and that my friends do have busy lifes of their own!
I know that paranoia, anxiety and even depression can be factors of temporal lobe epilespy but how do I start thinking normally again? I feel like a crazy woman!

[Endless]

Hi, Nicki,

Things sound so hard right now. The epilepsy and the meds both mess with people's heads. I can tell you still have your wits about you though, because you mentioned that up above.

A good first step is to tell your doctor what you are experiencing and feeling. Maybe your meds may need adjustment?

In the meantime, breathe, know you are a good and worthwhile person, with a wonderful family and some good friends. Your friends may be busy, but you are not forgotten.

You mentioned having trouble remembering the night before? Is that due to your memory problems, or maybe to a few cocktails? If cocktails.... Alcohol can increase seizures, and can affect how your body processes your medication. Until you get everything figured out an option might be to stay off the drinks.

Hang in there.

[music man]

Give me a shout i'm always up for a good chat. A day at a time we'll all get through this.
Ed.

[Nicki270275]

Hey thanks - I feel a bit better by just saying how I feel! The first time anything happened was back in 2005 when I woke up the following morning not even remembering that I had been out the night before (and not down to alcohol....shame) We initially thought that I had been given the date rape drug but ruled that out after they started occuring quite frequently. Would wake up feeling confused not knowing where I was, who I was etc eeg/mri didn't show anything so I think the neurologists were also a bit confused...
Anyway a year later I had a grand mal seizure and they finally diagnosed me with epilepsy and put me on Lamotrigine, which started to work after we had figured the dosage to control the seizures.
Because I have suffered with memory loss I really panic that I am going to lose anymore so I then have to go through everything time and time again just to make sure I haven't forgotten anything! Its just a never ending circle.........
And I wish it was the cocktails.... but sadly I don't drink that much. I did drink too much on my birthday earlier this year and felt really poorly the following day and then ended up feeling guilty because I did drink and knew that I shouldn't.. Its just ridiculous that I worry about everything and could quite easily make myself more poorly... How do you deal with it? Not sure that I want to start messing with my meds considering they to date have stopped the seizures?

Nicki

[Endless]

Hi, Nikki,

Glad you are feeling a little better. Temporal lobe epilepsy can make a person paranoid, and anxious. It also affects memory. Here's some info:
http://www.neuroskills.com/tbi/btemporl.shtml

How to handle it? I'm not really sure, but a conversation with your neurologist is a very good start.

[Bernard]

Hi Nikki, welcome to the forum.

My wife had some pretty severe issues with memory loss during a time when her seizure activity was severe. The good news is that her memory recall (overall cognitive functioning) returned to normal over the course of months once she got the seizures under control.

[Nicki270275]

Hey thanks for your help and all the info