Stupid Human Forum

[TanyaGoodKitty]

Now listen here you stupid humans, just exactly how do you expect me to take off my coat? My coat is connected to me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just because humans have to buy fur coats and I don't is no reason to discriminate against me by insisting that I have to take off my coat.

It is bad enough to have to live with a human who throws cups of tea at me, just sits and stares when I want attention, and sometimes wanders vaguely around the kitchen WITHOUT feeding me. Really I don't know why I didn't fire her long ago.

Would I be sued if I fired my human for incompetence because she has epilepsy?

[Bernard]

I always heard cats were fickle and finnicky.

No worries about the coat. I'm sure you will shed a hairball or too before all is said and done.

[brain]

Would I be sued if I fired my human for incompetence because she has epilepsy?

Are you able to do this to your
Master? If so, you're in good hands!

[Birdbomb]

Hey Bossman!!!

[TanyaGoodKitty]

I'm sure you will shed a hairball or too before all is said and done.

I graciously allow the floor covering to display some of the fur that I am no longer using.

[TanyaGoodKitty]

Are you able to do this to your Master? If so, you're in good hands!

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. I am a cat.

[Birdbomb]

[Bernard]

I graciously allow the floor covering to display some of the fur that I am no longer using.

Great! Another mess I have to clean up.

[TanyaGoodKitty]

Great! Another mess I have to clean up.

Certainly not. My hair is as much an adornment on the furniture as it is on myself.

The mess is in the cat box, which I expect you to clean up right NOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

[Birdbomb]

[whispers so cat can't hear] Yeapers, cats think they are pretty smart. But keep in mind, this creature prefers the taste of their own butt over most other foods. [/whispers]




CAT = The other white meat.

[Bernard]

CAT = The other white meat.

Umm..... No.

BTW, I'm not sure that TGC can see those images. Old cats tend to be visually challenged.

[TanyaGoodKitty]

BTW, I'm not sure that TGC can see those images. Old cats tend to be visually challenged.

My stupid human has this computer set up so that there are no images on it whatsoever. She does leave it on a lot when she is gone, and then I can sneak in and use it. I do have my own e mail at meowmail.com and keep in touch with many like-minded felines.

However, I have not been able to figure out how to turn on the images. Plus I am worried that if she finds out that I am using the computer she will start turning it off before she leaves.

I cannot imagine why I haven't fired her. She is so totally incompetent that she never can figure out what I want. I tell her and tell her and she does not do what I say.

If I had an opposable thumb I could open cat food cans for myself and I wouldn't need her any more. Except of course to turn on images in the computer.

But then I guess I still would need a servant to clean the litter box. Maybe I will give her another chance.

[Bernard]

Here's a saucer of milk:

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And this is a carpeted pole with a perch:

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I figure it's the least we can do for our only cat member.

[brain]

Ahhhhhhh forget Milk,
here ya go!
(__)? Cup of Coffee filled with Sardines ala Cream

[TanyaGoodKitty]

Here's a saucer of milk:

And this is a carpeted pole with a perch:

Now that is more like it. Was beginning to wonder just what sort of hospitality this place offerred. You have, however, left out one very important item.

I figure it's the least we can do for our only cat member

What makes you think I am the only cat member here? There may be many of us hiding behind our human's identities.

After all, you have to have an e mail to register here, and some cats don't know about meowmail.

[POSITIVEPERSON]

I have just what you love , catnip

and a plate of different types of fish,smoked salmon, shrimp ,raw salmon

for our favorite cat
Riva

[brain]

What makes you think I am the only cat member here? There may be many of us hiding behind our human's identities.

After all, you have to have an e mail to register here, and some cats don't know about meowmail.

Now Now Now, Let's be purrrrrrrrfect here,
C'mon and let's sharpen our claws on Bernard's
back, and then we can shred some draperies
over there (besides, I don't think it matches
the decor anyway, do you?).

After all we're the Royal Pawpets and we expect
everyone to heed our beck and call at the clap
of our glaring eyes, growls, and when we ignore
them!

Right?

By the way, that Bird over there looks mighty
tasty, don't you think?

[Birdbomb]

Watchy it brainy, I'm quicker than the eye and I'll peck your head into a nub!

Cats! Bah! Birds never make a meal of their backsides, we line our nests with the soft fur you so cavilerly discard, and have enough brains to flee before dangerous situations.

No one ever complained of how we vomited on the new bedspread, pooped behind the couch, or climbed on the kitchen counters and ate the guest's food.

Not to mention we are more pleasing to the eye and have a much nicer voice. Who likes to hear a cat love-yowling at 3 a.m.?

Like I said earlier...Cats the OTHER white meat.

[POSITIVEPERSON]

Really, you wouldn't believe how many birds I had to bury because my Minou (kittykat in french) brought them to me to show his love and appreciation.

[Stacy]

I can honestly say I love and respect every animal out there. They all have a place. The world would not be able to go 'round without them, so no bickering!