Hi everyone,
I've been dealing with something for 2 decades that I had no name for. Because of the stacked moments of dejavu, I would wonder if something mystical was happening. After having another minor episode today, I did another few google searches. One of them brought me here. I read some and did more searches. I understand I'm not a Dr., but it sure looks like the medical term for my experiences would be Temporal Lobe Seizure, which I am also seeing called Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, brought on Mesial temporal sclerosis from a near-fatal traumatic head injury.
Treatment options I see appears to be medications, which don't work on 1/3 of people with TLS, and/or having part of my brain cut out. I'm seeing it said that I *need* to get it cut out, because the damage from ongoing seizures can spread if I don't. Basically, I'm kind of freaking out a little.
Looking through this site a bit, I'm getting the sense that if I get diagnosed for this by a professional, I could lose my driver's license for life. Is that accurate?
FWIW, I have seen a neurologist once after an episode, but she took my license for a year because of a lapse of consciousness, and I haven't been very inclined to return since. I did all the CT scans and MRI and any test she wanted, and nothing came of it. I was a mystery. A mystery that left me unable to drive for a year and it felt like a big waste of my time to see her.
This is what experience: I will be doing my own thing, and then a kind of pressure comes down. The empty space around me starts to feel like it has more density, so that the empty space is a kind of thing. Not always, but often, this feeling is followed by a stack of dejavu. I call it a stack, because it is a moment where I'm having dejavu, but in the moment that happened before, I was having dejavu that time too, and in that dejavu, I was having dejavu, etc... This stack keeps spiraling forward (fractally?) with layers and layers of the exact same moment where all of them are me having dejavu. Then, I notice something off, a hole in the t-shirt on stack 57 that isn't on any of the other "slides" of the moment of stacked dejavu. When I notice the thing that is off/different, I zero in on it, fall into so to speak, and pass out. I've spent 2 decades wondering about past lives, spending eternity reliving the same life, and more on similar themes. After making the connection with the dejavu and passing out, I've spent the last 10 years or so trying to change the context of the moment to defeat the dejavu. My thinking was that by changing the room I was in, I had done something *different*, and it seems to work most of the time. I have even pushed the attack/seizure off by walking away and doing some deep breathing. But not always.
Now, I'm wondering if I have epilepsy and am at risk of losing my license forever and/or needing part of my brain cut out. Sorry for the wall of text. I'm a little out of sorts.
I've been dealing with something for 2 decades that I had no name for. Because of the stacked moments of dejavu, I would wonder if something mystical was happening. After having another minor episode today, I did another few google searches. One of them brought me here. I read some and did more searches. I understand I'm not a Dr., but it sure looks like the medical term for my experiences would be Temporal Lobe Seizure, which I am also seeing called Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, brought on Mesial temporal sclerosis from a near-fatal traumatic head injury.
Treatment options I see appears to be medications, which don't work on 1/3 of people with TLS, and/or having part of my brain cut out. I'm seeing it said that I *need* to get it cut out, because the damage from ongoing seizures can spread if I don't. Basically, I'm kind of freaking out a little.
Looking through this site a bit, I'm getting the sense that if I get diagnosed for this by a professional, I could lose my driver's license for life. Is that accurate?
FWIW, I have seen a neurologist once after an episode, but she took my license for a year because of a lapse of consciousness, and I haven't been very inclined to return since. I did all the CT scans and MRI and any test she wanted, and nothing came of it. I was a mystery. A mystery that left me unable to drive for a year and it felt like a big waste of my time to see her.
This is what experience: I will be doing my own thing, and then a kind of pressure comes down. The empty space around me starts to feel like it has more density, so that the empty space is a kind of thing. Not always, but often, this feeling is followed by a stack of dejavu. I call it a stack, because it is a moment where I'm having dejavu, but in the moment that happened before, I was having dejavu that time too, and in that dejavu, I was having dejavu, etc... This stack keeps spiraling forward (fractally?) with layers and layers of the exact same moment where all of them are me having dejavu. Then, I notice something off, a hole in the t-shirt on stack 57 that isn't on any of the other "slides" of the moment of stacked dejavu. When I notice the thing that is off/different, I zero in on it, fall into so to speak, and pass out. I've spent 2 decades wondering about past lives, spending eternity reliving the same life, and more on similar themes. After making the connection with the dejavu and passing out, I've spent the last 10 years or so trying to change the context of the moment to defeat the dejavu. My thinking was that by changing the room I was in, I had done something *different*, and it seems to work most of the time. I have even pushed the attack/seizure off by walking away and doing some deep breathing. But not always.
Now, I'm wondering if I have epilepsy and am at risk of losing my license forever and/or needing part of my brain cut out. Sorry for the wall of text. I'm a little out of sorts.
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