bad breakup

[C0nn0rCh0sen]

I know im young (almost 17) so most people think relationships/breakups at my age are just stupid.... but im really struggling to deal with it,

i just broke up from my girlfriend of 18 months yesterday. It was mostly mutual.... we had begun fighting so much and all we ever seemed to do was hhurt each other, so we decided to end it... but we both still really love each other and im missing her like crazy. A part of me wants to get back with her, but the other half of me knows ill just be miserable again if we do...but i feel miserable without her so i feel like i cant win....
We were like best friends, did everything together, so im feeling pretty lost and alone right now and just looking for some comfort or support or to hear from people who have been through a similar thing...
It doesnt really help that im having problems with my knee right now (i had surgery last week) so its not like i can use my usual anti-stress methods (walking, running, basketball, just been able to hang out with friends or family) which is making it even harder to take my mind off things....

Any tips on how to move on?
Thanks for listening to my problems

[Nakamova]

Hugs to you C0nn0r, I know exactly how you feel. It does take time to get over a break-up, and it's hard to bypass the sad stuff. You kinda have to plow on through it. Keep in mind that if you didn't feel sad you wouldn't be human. Good for you for being self-aware enough to ask for help -- you're WAY more mature than I was at 17. In fact you're way more mature than I am now

Since the physical stuff is one of your ways to let off steam, can you do the couch potato equivalents like Nintendo or other gaming? For me music and writing are big --Making mix CDs, and asking my friends to make them for me has helped in the past. Writing in a journal (or here at CWE) is good for venting, but also writing to and connecting with lots of other people can help. Anticipation is a good strategy -- plan some fun things to do once your knee heals, and the weather improves, and your heart and mind feel stronger.

Best,
Nakamova

[Rae1889]

Hey C0nn0r.
I know how you feel too. I had a great boyfriend in highschool, but we didnt end up ever having time for each other. the time that we were together was great. I was totally in love with him, and i was only 15. he and I would skateboard together, or paint, or skate etc, when we had time. which was usually one day a week. we both had part time jobs and we were both finishing school so there was a lot going on. we decided that it was best that we called it quits.

it hurt so much. like you said, it was mutual. but you can't live with them, but you can't live without them either. Catch 22 if you ask me. But you can always do what I did. keep hanging out as friends and eventually you will meet friends throught her friends and find someone else, or realize later on that you two are mature enough to continue the old realationship. depending on what you two fight about, it will most likely all be over once high school is done.

[BuckeyeFan]

Well its been a long time since I have been in your shoes, but I still remember those feelings. Just because you are young doesn't mean that they don't hurt as much as an adult/post HS relationship. I remember feeling that my heart was ripping apart a few times. I appluad you on your mature evaluation of the situation. Hold on for awhile and it will get better, plus there are many more girls out there and they probably already know you are available. Watch out!

Think about something you have always wanted to learn and take this opportunity to lose yourself in learning that. Not something academic, but how to make something or fix something or anything you are interested in. This is a good time to take advantage of the free time. Good Luck!

[alivenwell]

I'm sorry to hear of your pain as well. I suppose free weights for your arms can release some of the tension. For me, music and art are my stress relief.

It's possible that you may get back together again or meet somebody better. I've always been better when I'm busy so I can get lost in something that interests me.

[stilldancing_98]

Oh man, I just broke up with my boy friend to. But it is still not the same as your first love. I was 18. It was mutual. I was going thru some trauma. His name was Rocky. A lot of years ago. But what I do now that is different from then is I ask myself not what did I do wrong or did he do wrong, but what did I learn from this ?I really do get some answers. Some things that I really like about this person. Some things that can not be a part of my relationships. Then I go make myself look good (not counting your leg). And then be freeeeeeeeeeeeeee! you will do fine my boy, just fine! A good song. All I want to do is have some fun. By Cheyrl Crow

[imwithcoco]

Hang in there, bro. You're gonna be fine. Like Nakamova said, you're quite mature for your age. Things will work out for the best. My wife and I met in high school at age 15, and believe me, it wasn't a smooth road until we were married. I acted like a goober half the time and always broke up with her, but luckily she stuck it out. Give things time to chill so you guys can talk reasonably. If she feels the same as you, maybe ya'll should give it another try. You have quite a bit of time invested in this relationship, but you can flush one down the toilet in a heartbeat!