How do I have my first Date?

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niceguyVZ

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Mm.. I'm old now. And disabled. I'm still not have my first date in my life.
How do i have one? I don't quite understand how.

i go to disabled center but there is no people there that are looking for dates. People say "Just walk up to a girl and ask her out" And then have her be bored cause i can't talk well and can't walk well? what girl wants to go out and be bored and just fake it.

There's more chance of seeing/meeting nondisabled girls out there in places because disabled girls and guys tend to shy away from many social activities and places. .but then the nondisabled girls will never be atracted in me as a potential date. So that makes it difficult.

I keep reading forums about dating and stuff about Women and how they would not date disabled guys.

Here's some quotes from the forums
"Single women in their early 20's are starting their lives. They are not looking for responsibility. They are embarking on their careers, getting their first homes set up and spending their disposable income - As they should be. Some women in their early 20's have children. These ladies have responsibilities, are fully aware of the commitment that being a carer takes and have enough to deal with."


"Your fishing pool is shrinking based on the above because their are lots of men in your age range who have no responsibilities, no disabilities and so they are simply more appealing for both casual and LT relationships"

"I dont want to end my active life to take care of a disabled guy. i want to live my life with a partner who can go hiking, on trips, jogging and so on"
 
Hi niceguy-

For kicks I googled websites for singles with disabilities, and quite a few popped up. Might be a great way to get started with meeting girls. Just a suggestion.

http://www.dating4disabled.net
 
CathyAnn, thanks. but people keep telling me about dating sites. I dont do dating sites(and i dont want to spend money). And i've tried before(ok cupid etc free sites) and they never work.
 
Currently i meet some girls in some center i go to but like i said i can't talk much so i'm boring to them. Of course they don't want to date me, they're like college graduates or career women and stuff so it's no use to ask them "Want to go on a date with me?"
Plus all these women are just there very temporarily, they move on to move to other cities or careers.
 
Like a Woman going for her Masters and PhD and then becoming a lawyer. You really think she's gonna want me as a partner? not really.
 
People go out with people that they connect to. A date is not a commitment for life, it is a date. It is a moment in time where 2 people hang out and decide if they want to hang out again. Every date is not a commitment nor is it a one night stand. The hard part is putting yourself out there and taking the results of that action.

You have to give people the chance to say no. Think of it in baseball terms, even the good hitters get out 7 out of 10 times. And in baseball you cannot get a hit if you don't swing.
 
Is there a supportive website like this one but for people with disabilities? Maybe you could meet new friends who understand your plight and can offer suggestions when it comes to relationships and dating?

I'm sorry this is so tough for you.
 
Ya, niceguy, it's hard for people with disabilities, you just need to hang in there and try. I like the Baseball analogy, you won't get a hit if you don't go up to bat.

It's easy to get dates, it's hard to keep them, once all the medical issues are in the open and cleared up.

You seem very negative about finding someone, that will not work, because basically you have already given up before you have even tried. Craigslist use to work for me, but lately it's been lacking. All the prerequisites that woman want, it's almost as hard as getting a job nowadays. :) ha ha.

All you need to do is go at it and try try try. Now if you hide all day inbetween walls, that won't help. Go out and do some things that you enjoy, church, camping trips, lots of festivals going on.

It's hard, no question, but it will not get any easier the older you get.

Good luck, as a last alternative, there is such a thing as the mustang ranch, if all else fails.

Cheers,

:piano: :pop:
 
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