Myspace and Kids

[tinasmom]

We have had problems with my stepdaugter having myspaces and not telling us. Everytime we would find one and delete it because there was too many unacceptable things on it, she would create another one. I had thought we found and deleted all of them, but then we were called into a meeting at church. We are involved in AWANA's and she was a Leader In training. This meeting was called because someone was in her myspace and she had posted pictures of herself drinking UV and she was so trashed. She also had made statements regarding how much she disliked little kids. We were grateful that someone alerted us to this. She had to step down as a Leader In Training for the remainder of the year. We finally came to a comprise of letting her have a myspace, but we have to monitor it which we do daily.

Then, last night I was looking at one of her friend's profiles and found comments stating that 6 kids were going to overdose on numerous drugs Saturday night. I had told this friend's mother that I would keep an eye on his myspace because she doesn't know how to get into it. We called her to let her know that these comments were there because we were concerned for the well being of these kids. Well, today WW3 broke out with the mother. Her son said it was just a joke and then started phone texting my stepdaughter and she would text him back. She did text some things that she shouldn't have and of course, it came back to bite her. We looked at every text message and discussed the wrong decisions she made and how she could've handled better.

Now, the mother has turned this into my son doesn't do this but your daughter does. I really didn't want this to happen. I started wondering if I did the right thing. After talking with some friends about this, they said that they would've done the same thing. I just didn't want to read in the paper that 6 local teens had commited suicide by overdose and knowing that I could've stopped it.

I would encourage anyone with children to find out if your child has a myspace and monitor what is going on. Personally, I wish they would just do away with myspace, but then they would just find someother place to go.

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening!!

[RobinN]

We have had difficulty with this sort of thing too.
I have had to take computer access away. I have even taken texting away.
Tough love sometimes is the only way.

It is okay to say No More! or you lose all access.
Phone companies will turn off texting if you ask. It is a priviledge not a right.

For instant messaging monitors check out IMSafer . it is a good parental control.

[Bernard]

MySpace is just the medium. If not MySpace, kids will find another place to hang out (Facebook or similar).

You were right to take the overdose comments seriously. Better safe than sorry.

[skillefer]

You did the right thing. You have to stop and think about how you would feel if those kids that were joking had been serious, and you hadn't said anything. Trust me, I understand the issues about Myspace. My husband and I just recently moved into a house with his mom and three minor children. One of the kids has Myspace, and hasn't bothered to tell her mom yet. She wanted to have a computer in her new room. I told her no. I also told her that she's limited to 20 min. of computer time per day, and the computer has to be in the living room so that anybody can watch what sites she's on. I also have a friend who monitors her page for me. The only thing that truly bugs me is that we found out about it from my friend, and not from her. So yeah, I understand Myspace frustration.

[speber]

I have two kids that I have to keep a good eye on and I tell you...it scares me too to think of the stuff they could get into.

HOWEVER---

MySpace is just the medium here and they WILL find something else if they DONT KNOW BETTER!

Do your best to love them and show them how to make smart choices...it's the best offense.
Keep your cool when they struggle learning how to make smart choices...it's the best defense.

Good Luck all ye parents out there!

[Milagro]

I personally do not have this sort of problem, although I taught my kids to be respectful and know there place in things. I like to be fair and I have laid down the rules and they know the consequences. I hope you get this sorted out, I am sorry about the trouble you went through.

[tinasmom]

I hope that by posting my struggles with myspace here, I can alert other parents. I have had to use "Tough Love" on my youngest daughter and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I actually had to ask her to leave the house at the age of 17. I was advised that this would be the best thing to do by 3 different people who each referred to the "Prodigal Son". That was enough of a sign for me.

Our computer is right in our livingroom, but we have to remember that computers are everywhere. They even know how to get around proxy servers at school.

[RobinN]

oh ...don't I know. And if they don't understand how to get around it, there is always someone online to teach them.
The campus police officer at Rebecca's school has a Myspace and monitors what goes on around the school sites.