Now that we have that established....

[renee97]

Yes, it is true. I have been AWOL for quite some time, venturing here only once in a great while. Simple reason can be summed up: I have had two very good things happen which led to my being a great deal more busy then I could have imagined.
First "mini-miracle" was in January / February (which some of you may remember) and that was getting off of Dilantin, Keppra, and lastly, Lamictal. In February, started on Depakote and have been taking ONLY Depakote since then and doing much better. Well enough to start seeking employment just as the economy and job market dived into the toilet. But I have been trying anyway.
Next mini-miracle was in February-March when I was blessed with finally finding and securing (most important word) a cooperative wind quintet that actually guaranteed they would perform my "Quintet #2" composed in 2006 and in need of a performance. Not ironically, the ensemble is made up of musicians all of whom hold day jobs in the real world. The phrase "in need of a performance" does not properly convey why it needs a performance.
I received a Foundation Grant in September 2004 to compose this work with one of the stipulations being that it HAD to be performed within five years of receiving the grant. As we are approaching that fifth year, I had been getting quite nervous before the Park Avenue Wind Quintet stepped in to help out.
And then the last two mini-miracles just happened this month: The performance will happen on July 12 which means the last few hundred dollars of the grant will be coming my way sooner and the stress will be off getting the work performed.
And most interesting is a photo I took in 1984 made it into a railroad historical society publication earlier this month. Since it is a nonprofit, I didn't get paid for the photo achieving publication, but it sure was nice to have one of my photos published with my byline.

I still don't have a job or an income. Almost every day I hear about more people being laid off and I am wondering how I am going to survive. I get scared and I admit I get frightened too easily.
Well thanks for the birthday greeting (it was yesterday).
"Hope is the thing with feathers.".........Emily Dickinson

[Birdbomb]

Holy CATS!

Bout time you showed yourself around here, I've been out of pool myself and playing catch-up.

I am so glad things are turning around for you! Maybe you can post your performance to YouTube and share it with the rest of us!




And yesterday was your BIRTHDAY!!!!
/facepalm

I'll fix that!

[Meetz1064]

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

[epileric]

But also great to hear how well things have been going.

Meanwhile Happy Birthday. It looks like it was a good one.

[renee97]

The particular piece of music that will be performed on July 12th? Well there is a fairly long and sordid story about this work. Much of which you don't want (or need) to read about. The one thing I can share about it is that the entire work was composed after my first T/C (grand mal) seizure in November 2005, it was composed in "fits and starts," and even after two or three revisions I had not been happy with it. Can you guess why? Then comes my attendance at the very first rehearsal on March 29th with this new quintet. They liked it. They actually liked it. And in the rehearsal they played it pretty good. Good enough that I asked them to play the 2nd half of the first movement again because I liked it so much.
That doesn't mean that EVERY one will like it. There are places of extreme dissonance, but they only last a few seconds. The first movement ends with a kind of question mark, almost to say "where do we go from here?" The second movement (there are only two movements) ignores the question mark. It is a perpetual motion with different rhythms and slows to a peaceful and calm ending.

[epileric]

Sounds very cool. Is there any way you'd be able to post a recording of it here?

[Bernard]

Hi Renee, it's good to hear from you again. You sound much calmer than before. I am really happy for you. You were in such a bad place (emotionally).

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need

[renee97]

Sounds very cool. Is there any way you'd be able to post a recording of it here?

Epileric,
The short answer to your question is NO.
First I haven't the faintest idea how to do that, second, even if I could post a recording of it here I would not and the main reason is because I do not want my music taken out of context. It belongs in a concert / recital or on a CD with other similar works either by me or other composers. Another reason is money. I need to make money any way I can and just today I spent about 10-15 minutes on the phone with a gentleman with the ASCAP concert music department (in NYC) trying to get things straightened out so that I can receive royalties from this performance and any other concert performances.
I am still hopeful that 1) another wind quintet will perform this work in early 2009 in Chicago (more royalties), and 2) this quintet will work with me on another concert at which time they will perform my first wind quintet and the new one as well as two or three other works of mine. The goal of that is to get the same level of quality in the performance of several works and put them all on a CD. Now THAT would be fantastic!

[renee97]

Hi Renee, it's good to hear from you again. You sound much calmer than before. I am really happy for you. You were in such a bad place (emotionally).

As Ralph Waldo Emerson is quoted as saying (and which I am going to try to constantly remind myself):
"They conquer who believe they can."
I found this on the inside of a greeting card some years back. On the front of the card is a drawing / painting of a huge fire-breathing dragon coming out of a cave in a mountain range as a knight on his horse prepares to do battle with the dragon.

[epileric]

I think if you can get a good deal with them then you're laughing. True about posting it here. Best of luck.

[speber]

Best of luck! Your description of the work makes it sound so interesting I wish I could afford a planned trip to be in the area so I could crash the performance for a listen. Very interesting indeed.

Speber

[renee97]

To kill two birds with one arrow----:
I became a member of ASCAP in 2004. Just late enough so that the only works I had performed since then could not have received royalties. Although I have not been a fan of ASCAP in the past, they have been pretty respectful and helpful with getting things set up. Also I am self-published (as opposed to having to go out and beg a publisher) which means that when I do receive royalties I get 100% of them instead of 50% if a "name-brand" publisher was selling them for me.
The Park Avenue Wind Quintet that will be performing my 2nd Quintet on July 12 and I have been discussing the serious possibility of them doing a concert of several of my works. I am still hopeful that this will happen either late this year or early next year. With that kind of program I could send (sell) everyone who wants one a CD of both of my wind quintets, the Trio for flute, clarinet and piano, Sonata for clarinet and piano, a trio for oboe, English horn and bassoon, and maybe one or two other pieces. HA HA!