Personal diaries

[Bernard]

"Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you...."

We recently had a discussion with one of Stacy's uncles regarding a personal diary that her grandfather maintained. The uncle warned that it was not a good idea to read the diary if she cherished the memory that she had of her grandfather because there might be stuff in there that shatters her conceptions of the man.

I don't keep a personal diary myself although Stacy does. Do you keep a personal diary? Would you want people reading it after you die?

Have you ever read another family member's diary after they passed away? Did you regret doing so?

[lindy]

Yes, I keep a diary and I hope that my children do read it once I'm gone. I want them to know me as I really am - not just as their mother but as a real, flesh and blood person who has had her ups and downs but has perserved. I read my grandmother's diary after she died and, while alot of it was surprising, it allowed me to see why she was the way that she was. I was her favorite grandchild and I love her dearly, although I knew that she was a first class b*tch. Now I know why and I don't blame her at all. To me, true love means seeing who a person is, flaws and all, and loving that person regardless. One of the problems my family has is that my siblings don't look at our father (who has been dead for almost 20 years now) as a real person. They've turned him into a saint in their minds and come close to worshipping him! But he wasn't a saint - he was a man like any other and I love him dearly, warts and all. Wish that he had left a diary! It wasn't until near the end of his life that I asked some really basic questions about his life and I wish that I knew more than the little that I do know.

[Bernard]

It's great that you are writing a diary for others to read and preserve your memory and thoughts. But do all people write diaries for others to read? I don't keep a diary, but I assume that some folks do it as a personal therapy and do not intend for anyone to read it.

I think what Stacy's uncle was alluding to is that there may be sides to the person that you'd rather not have known about - say for example that the person fancied child porn - that does not integrate well with your experience.

[lindy]

My diary is therapy for me but, when I'm gone, I want my children to know who I was - the good and the bad. Everyone has things to hide and things that s/he isn't particularly proud of but, as I've said before, true love means seeing the person for who that person really was and loving that person warts and all. I want my children to love the real me - not some fictionalized version. My sisters and brother all adore our father and talk about him as if he were some sort of saint. He was no saint - just a good man who tried very hard. I think that that's why I have a better relationship with our mother than they do since she and I can talk about my father as the person he was.

[Tilei]

I do keep a diary and when I am gone fully expect that the family will read it. They don't always understand me now and that diary will help them later as they recall their Crazy Aunt Beth and understand why I am as crazy as I am.

[Stacy]

I have a question on this. I keep a diary... approximately 7 volumes by now, and I was considering publishing it under a pen name... (false author's name)... even going so far as to tell the story, but change the names to protect the innocent. What do you guys think about this? It'll sell, no doubt about that.

[Bernard]

While it would surely make for some interesting drama, I don't think publishers would be able to market it unless you do something remarkable/noteworthy.