Relocating

[wonderdogs]

I was born and raised in Littleton, Colorado and have never lived anywhere else. I met my husband online. He was born in Florida and moved to North Carolina when he was 10 or 11 and moved back to Florida at age 21 and moved to Colorado to be with me 4 months after we met. He grew to love it here.

The only down side to where we live is that the cost of living is really high and with energy costs and grocery costs on the rise we are in for a struggle. My neurologist wanted me to reduce my work hours a few weeks ago but that is not an option for me here either.

My husband has several employment opportunities back in North Carolina and the cost of living is lower there and the job offers will pay well enough that I won't even have to work full-time.

Part of me is scared to death to leave my little comfort zone, my family and my friends. Another part of me is excited to find a new beginning and make NEW friends and become closer to my in-laws. If we are saving money on living costs it is feasible that I would be able to fly back to Colorado several times a year for visits.

Does any one have any experience to share with me about relocating? Was it a good or bad move for you? What other things should I consider? How do I research health care providers in the area where I am moving?

My mom seems to think I will have trouble making friends there because I am a "Catholic Yankee" but really, does she think I am going to wear that on a t-shirt? I am not racist and I think I can find other things in common with people beside religion and still be their friend. That is true even with many of my friends here in Colorado heck and even my husband.

I am also afraid because my husband and I have had turbulent times and moving far away, I would feel more alone during those times than I do now. I know I have post about those times here before. We have been to 4-5 counseling sessions recently and we both have taken some very good lessons from there. He has taken very good care of me through a layoff at BOTH our jobs 6 months after our wedding 5 years ago, my car accident, my epilepsy, the loss of a dear pet, and the recent death of my uncle. He has taken a lot of consideration for me into his thoughts on moving to NC because of my doctor's recommendation to reduce stress in my life. I have no doubt that his intensions were good when he made this suggestion and he has reassured all of my worries so far.

I am sorry this is long and drawn out but even just typing these thoughts and rereading my own post has helped my perspective. I am interested in what others have to say as well. Thanks in advance.

[speber]

1. I'm a Texan (supposed to be a Confederate I guess?....not me...slavery's not my bag)...I married a Wisconsin (Yankee?) Catholic beauty and haven't regretted it once! You bow up to anyone who gives you crap girl!
2. Make sure you have an internet connection and your friends at CWE will always be here!

Good Luck!

[RobinN]

I moved away from home once, alone.. and it was the best thing I ever did. It forced me to grow up. It allowed me independence from my family. I struggled at times with being lonely, but my goodness if that is considered a struggle, then our pioneers were exceptional people. Struggle is a good thing in my book, as it makes you appreciate the times of abundance.

North Carolina is known to be a beautiful area. I have met many wonderful people that are from that area. What a great opportunity for the two of you. You have his obvious kind shoulders to support you during difficult situations. I'd say it is a win win idea.

As for religion and beliefs. I was raised in an ultra conservative Episcopalian home. My husband is a liberal of Jewish faith, born in Isreal. What different backgrounds we come from, yet we have made it work for 25 yrs. I think your mother is just wanting to keep you close to her, and that guilt will get you every time.

Go on an adventure. What do you have to lose? I always consider the worst case scenario, and there typically is a way out if that occurs. So look on the bright side when you make your choice.

[BuckeyeFan]

Kendra - The company I work for has a factory in coastal NC. It is a beautiful state and the people I have met there over the years are wonderful. Yes, there are some yankee jokes, but we tease them right back.

One nice thing is it has about a 4-5 hour drive between the beach and the mountains (at least what we call mountains east of the Mississippi). When they get a little bit of snow, everyone just stays home and takes it easy for a day or two.

Depending where you go in the state, there are already plenty of northerners. The migration of professionals out of the rust belt has really blurred that Mason-Dixon line.

I know you have a tough decision ahead of you, but remember few things are permanent. Don't let your E hold you back, that wouldn't be you. You are more than that.

Like Speber said, CWE will follow you where ever you go. (that sounds a little creepy)

Good Luck!!

[speber]

....(that sounds a little creepy) ...

[Bernard]

I personally have no problem moving if it is in the best interests for my family. I've got friends and family all over the place. If I move, I'll make more too.

[Meetz1064]

a big decision.

NC IS a BEAUTIFUL state. In particular, I LOVE the Outer Banks, especially Nags Head and Kitty Hawk. Hehe.

This decision is part of what's going to make YOU as a couple. Don't worry about what your mother says. I have a mother much like yours. *EYE ROLL*. Catholic and everything.

Sit down, the two of you. Make a list of the pros and cons. Which is the bigger of the two? Go from there.

Good luck!

Speber, you worry me sometimes..........that picture..........

[skillefer]

I made the move from Nebraska to California on my own 10 years ago. I didn't have any relatives out here to help me. I got on a plane, and was met at the airport by the guy from the local Saturn dealership. I had leased my car via Fedex and fax machines. So he picked me and my dad up at the airport in my new car. We dropped him off at the dealership, and drove to this little town in southern California where I had a contract to teach. We checked into a hotel, and 2 days later, I'd rented an apartment and gotten moved in. The thing is...you can do it. You're stronger then you think. I thought that I would go nuts...after all, I was raised in a conservative Baptist home, and here I was moving to the land of "fruits and nuts". The thing is...people are people. We have good and bad in each one of us...it's what we choose to act on that determines what we are.

[Birdbomb]

When I was 22 an USAF Sgt. I married an moved to Okinawa Japan. I left my entire family and life to live in a forein land with a new husband. It wasn't easy at first. I was scared, and really didn't know anyone. We lived off-base so all my neighbors were Okinawans and spoke little english.

Getting involved with community/clubs helped a lot. Being Air Force, there were many others in the same situation. By the end of our tour, we had fallen in love with Okinawa, made great friends, we didn't want to leave. But we were reassigned to Nellis AF Base in Las Vegas. We had to start over but this time, we knew the language. LOL

The move will be what you make of it. If you are excited in starting a new adventure it will be just that! If you are dreading it, you will be miserable. Try to keep opitmistic.

At least at this time there are many easy ways to keep in touch with family. When we were in Oknawa, we could only afford to call home once a month and there was no internet (1977-79) and only snail mail. YIKES!

[wonderdogs]

Thanks so much everyone for all your replies! Right now we are kind-of in a wait-and-see period as my hubby has some job applications in. We are considering a move to the Charlotte area of North Carolina. My husband is aiming for a position with a NASCAR race team. His bother is currently employed by a team so my husband has an "in" that helps his chances of getting an otherwise hard to acheive position.

I can still drive with my Epilepsy so transportaion is not an issue here or there. I have simple partial seizures plus absence seizures and the biggest challenge for me is fatigue (either from the seizures or the medication), short term memory loss, and inability to concentrate for a full eight hours at work. I told my husband I NEED to live near a city where I can easily find the local mall, craft store, PetCo, and Home Depot! The necessities in life!

What is really hard for me is that my family and friends here in Colorado are not supportive of our decision to move. I know they will miss me and I may even loose contact with some of my friends if I don't see them on a day to day basis like I do now but I do have to consider what is in my best interest, and my husband too.

I know I will have to resolve to get out an meet new people so I have already been looking into extracurricular activities in the area. If my husband does get a job on a race team hopefully there will be other young couples we can get involved with. Book clubs, wine clubs, dinner clubs, dog walking clubs, exercise classes, church groups (though I wonder how active the Catholic churches are in that area for young people), there are opportunities all over where I can meet people. I hope to work atleast part time becase many of my friends I have now are people I worked with in the past.

[skillefer]

Just think of this as a wonderful adventure. And take the first couple of weeks there to just be a tourist and see what there is to see, eat the local cuisine, and make new friends. You'll be fine. You're family and friends will learn to deal with your move. Especially if you seem happy and excited about the move. It'll be nice to not have to work full time. (I wish...*sigh*) Ah well. Have fun Kendra.