are there any singles

petero · #1 08-24-2011, 05:08 PM

is anyone else here single?
any recommendations on how to get out and meet people without a car?
the area in which I live isn't really a "hang out" type of area either, in spite of being directly by a college
it's in Texas, so everyone drives everywhere
I'm getting to the point where I feel solitude may not be getting safe for my well-being, but also find it very difficult to even consider it serious to go about meeting people and doing things without a car.
not to belittle people who manage without a car, but, the busses around here aren't great, cars, heat (severe+walking = joke) (hitting maybe 110 this week), plus asking out anyone who may very well likely consider me an invalid anyway.
it's daunting to say the least

petero · #2 08-24-2011, 05:19 PM

I keep having a surge from a seizure period today - so this might not make any sense
I feel lonely today too since the AM period...

msuder0583 · #3 08-24-2011, 06:45 PM

I can't say I am, however I will try to give you the best advice I can. Number one, NO ONLINE DATING, like that stupid eharmomy or whatever. Which I'm sure you already know since you asked about meeting people. You know I actually read a proven study that that majority of people are more likely to meet their partner at a grocery store than at a bar. There are are girls/guys, whichever you prefer everywhere. You don't need to meet them at clubs or hangout places. Work, stores, the street, the park. Just make casual conversation but don't be too up front like you're TRYING to hit on them. Another great thing to do is to get something that attracts girls and draws attention you - such as a dog; killer chick magnet. Those are the only things I can think of right now, but if I think of more, I'll add them on.

petero · #4 08-24-2011, 08:38 PM

thank you - I know a some of the things you mean... just today I've been postictal and feeling weird - on and off daze - empty - rebooting or whatever
emotions a bit weird :/
one thing, I did get a text back from an ex-neighbor who I was interested in

so maybe it was premonition

valeriedl · #5 08-24-2011, 08:40 PM

As msuder0583 it's more likely to meet someone in a place other than a bar. Usually when a guy comes up and starts hitting on you there, the girl thinks you're some drunk and will see how many free drinks she can get off of you before you leave. Alot of the times too if she gives you a phone number, it will be one she made up in her head, it will end up being some old lady that answers the phone and can't figure out why there's this guy talking to her about being in the bar toghther last night.

I'm a big 'listen in on other people's conversations person. That's actually how I met my husband. I was at a concert with my mom and heard him talking about a band that I love. We both started talking about it and it ended up leading into our first date.

Look at clothes that people wear, a band, sports team or something of that sort, bring up a conversation about it. If you're in a fast food resturant and see that they've ordered something say to them - I've never had that before, is it good or - I love that, I get it just about every time I'm in here. Even if you're in the grocery store you can say things like that about food. Bring up a conversation like that. You just have to learn how to get out there and start talking to people, but aslo as she said don't just come out and start hitting on them.

If it's a sports team shirt that they have on don't come out and say - They suck! I can't believe they've lost their last 10 games in a row! Think of something positive about the team and bring that up, lie if you have to, it may be worth it in the end.

I don't know what it's like where you live. Also as she said a dog is a huge chick magnet, I can't pass one without running over to pet it. Do you have a park near by, or live in a town where you can just walk down the street with one?

Do you go to concerts, as I said that's how I met my husband. If you do and see a girl there then you know that there's already something that you know you both like and have in common.

If I think of more I'll add on too.

stilldancing_98 · #6 08-25-2011, 12:14 AM

Get a hobby. Like take a dancing class or an art class. Something social. So that you don't feel shut in. Or volunteer some place. I have to do that. Or I go crazy. I need other adults.

petero · #7 08-25-2011, 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by stilldancing_98

:

Get a hobby. Like take a dancing class or an art class. Something social. So that you don't feel shut in. Or volunteer some place. I have to do that. Or I go crazy. I need other adults.

well I am an artist working from home...
I ought to consider that though
or a yoga class

I've been a bit up/down moods today - post seizure

msuder0583 · #8 08-25-2011, 02:45 PM

Well actually I'm a guy. But anyways....ya know it's really hard to say, with a couple exceptions all of my girlfriends I've met in college or high school. That makes it much easier cause you see them all the time. Plus working on projects, sitting besides them, etc. is a good ice breaker. I know sometimes it can be very frustrating when you see guys with women wayyyyy out of their league, and it's just like how in the hell. if you don't mind me asking, why can't you drive? i live in maryland, and as long as you're seizure free for three months you can drive.

rhiz · #9 08-25-2011, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by msuder0583

:

i live in maryland, and as long as you're seizure free for three months you can drive.

Man you guys are lucky! Over here in the UK it's 12 months seizure free before you can apply!

I'd say the best way is as people have suggested, find some extra activities to do like clubs and such, even join some more online communities in things you're interested in, like art for instance, to get yourself back out there and get your confidence up a bit!

msuder0583 · #10 08-25-2011, 03:04 PM

Maryland is very leniant when it comes to the disabled and unemployed. They are not as strict as other states on disability, they give out unemployment longer than other states and let people who have epilepsy drive sooner than most states.

petero · #11 08-25-2011, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by msuder0583

:

Well actually I'm a guy. But anyways....ya know it's really hard to say, with a couple exceptions all of my girlfriends I've met in college or high school. That makes it much easier cause you see them all the time. Plus working on projects, sitting besides them, etc. is a good ice breaker. I know sometimes it can be very frustrating when you see guys with women wayyyyy out of their league, and it's just like how in the hell. if you don't mind me asking, why can't you drive? i live in maryland, and as long as you're seizure free for three months you can drive.

I've had a rough spell lately, seizure periods, where I'm not quite sure, you know?
besides, my car is in the shop
but I've come to like taking the bus also - although it is limiting on what I can do
but so is this city Dallas - to note, it's about 140 degrees outside today...

stilldancing_98 · #12 08-25-2011, 04:53 PM

Man, you have to go a year out hear.

petero · #13 08-25-2011, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by stilldancing_98

:

Man, you have to go a year out hear.

out in WA?
I have been considering Boston mostly...
my brother & sister-in-law & soon to be nephew/niece live out there
I've always liked the east coast - NYC too~
I am getting really sick of Dallas grind

stilldancing_98 · #14 08-25-2011, 07:35 PM

My bro lives in NY he was in that earth quake. He works in Manhattan. You like the big city?

petero · #15 08-26-2011, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by stilldancing_98

:

My bro lives in NY he was in that earth quake. He works in Manhattan. You like the big city?

I do like it - I like the feeling of being lost in the unknown, but finding my way through it. And the food. I quit drinking in 2003 so I have no idea what it's like to party there, like that. It would probably be an altogether different experience if I could have come back to a place of my own instead of as a couch-guest type of stay. But then that way it probably would lose some of the other charm.

re: your signature line "out on a limb... that's where the future is"
reminded me of a bird I watched while I was at the bus stop - flew around and then sat on the very tip of the tree, on a branch I thought wouldn't be able to support the weight of the bird, it was maybe coat-hanger wire width

mel239 · #16 08-26-2011, 07:15 PM

I give you much kudos for wanting to live in city.Ive been divorced twice-8kids-5 are adults and gone and then this hit-I live in medium city,but am up on deadend road-i can barely get the mail or my kids on bus without panicking-I just want to stay in my little couple acres and can my food and be left alone.I know Im not normal but the thought of a big city--WOW! I wish i had that kind of strength

petero · #17 08-27-2011, 09:18 PM

well one real blessing about the internet is the ability for people to be able to be in contact because of similarities and in spite of distance
this site has been a real help to me in feeling out my somewhat recent diagnosis too

momof3boys · #18 08-27-2011, 10:09 PM

I'm married, Ive been with my husband for over 10 years now. I know some others here say not to try to meet anyone online, but thats how I met my husband! LOL I met him through Yahoo Personals. A friend of mine put my profile picture on there and as a joke, put me on their yahoo personals to see what kind of responses I would get. Just out of luck, my best friend told me about the guys that were responding to the profile she posted for me. Just out of curiosity, I went to look and saw his profile. He and I talked over a month or so on the internet, him not having a picture for me to see, but he got to see mine my friend put up. But something inside me told me to try to meet up with him, in a public place of course... and see what kind of guy he was. We met in July 2001, and have been together since.