Why wedding dresses are white (joke) Battle between MEN -vs.- WOMEN

[BuckeyeFan]

Anything is edible with enough garlic, cheese, and butter, i.e. escargot!

Must be my french heritage - along with German, Irish, and Dutch. Gives me an appetite for ALL kinds of food.



Plus it keeps the wife at bay during football season.

Why do they only get frisky when football is on TV?????

[TeeTees]

Anything is edible with enough garlic, cheese, and butter, i.e. escargot!

Must be my french heritage - along with German, Irish, and Dutch. Gives me an appetite for ALL kinds of food.



Plus it keeps the wife at bay during football season.

Why do they only get frisky when football is on TV?????

Is the wifes cooking THAT bad that you have to kill the flavour with garlic ??

As for above ^^ .....


get ready.........


the punchline is coming.....







it's because she wants you to get your KIT off, so she can play with your BALLS (I hope I get away with posting THAT one)

[Birdbomb]

Why do they only get frisky when football is on TV?????

Because it's the ONLY time you guys stop bugging us with stupid questions like...(see below*)...and that makes you more appealing!

where's the mustard? (did you bother to look in the fridge?)
do we have any bologana? (again, LOOK in the fridge)
where are all the clean dishes? (duh! dishwasher?)
do I have any underwear? (did you look in your drawer, dummy?)
is this shirt clean? ( have you worn it since it was last washed?)
what's for dinner? (depends on where you are taking me)
think I need a shower? ( that smell isn't from the rotting cat under the porch)
where's the remote? ( right where YOU left it, the bathroom)

[speber]

....take a walk on the wild side Birdy.

[alivenwell]

Well, I like to watch sports, both live and on TV for the scenery. In Hershey, PA, the land of Chocolate World, they have fantastic ice hockey Hershey Bears games.

You guys would love it. Their mascot would take one of those tubular guns, load it with hot dogs, and shoot them into the audience. I bet you guys would sit up front to catch 'em. Woof Woof! Your friend in the kitchen would like that, too!

Garlic, hmmmm. Sounds like a lethal weapon. Right timing is the strategy.

With my PA Dutch German background, my grandparents used to make sauerkraut. That's probably a worse weapon that brats (they make it with brats). It's great, but it smells up the whole house.

[speber]

.......aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.......... ...



....what?......was someone talking?....

[alivenwell]

.......aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.......... ...



....what?......was someone talking?....

Aber Sperber, es ist vier gut! MMMMM!
Warum nicht sauerkraut?

[stilldancing_98]

Still Vie Die Nacht, unt tief vie das mier . Sol Deina Libe sien. Did I spell that write? Sometimes its a cook, sometimes I'm only hungry for the balls lol.

[speber]

[stilldancing_98]

You know nothing Speber. But I like your joke. I think some of the girls I know in my group would like it to. LOL

[Birdbomb]

....take a walk on the wild side Birdy.

No thanks! Greasy foods make me nauseous

Now if you were talking sushi with wasabi and pickled ginger, I'd be first in line. Wash it down with some sweet plum wine... Domo arigato! /bows politely

No Califorinia roll (hate avacados) and NO eel


Now if YOU want to walk on the wild side, try some natto
This is some WICKED stuff! Tastes just like it smells.

http://www.newhope.com/nutritionscie...r_00/natto.cfm
http://www.gaia21.net/natto/natto.htm

[RobinN]

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game , she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
Femmes & Fellas,

[speber]

....Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!...

UNLESS YOU LIKE BRATS!

[Birdbomb]

QUOTED FOR TRUTH

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

..... Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!


Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
Femmes & Fellas,

^^^^^^THIS^^^^^ is THE most intellegent statement on this thread

Good one Robin!




But I prefer bacon, sausage gives me heartburn.

[stilldancing_98]

This is so True. I love being single now that I am 43. I didn't date this much when I was a teenager. LOL I am much more sure of who I am. And comfortable with it. Of course I care about the other person. But you are right. The other person always knows where they stand when it comes to me. I am so glad you put that up. You are not only beautiful, you are intellegent. Teresa

[TeeTees]

Aber Sperber, es ist vier gut! MMMMM!
Warum nicht sauerkraut?

Ich mochte eine beir !! (now how you tell the Mrs to fetch it for ya in Germam, I'm not sure)

[speber]

...now how you tell the Mrs to fetch it for ya in Germam, I'm not sure...

........Renee, bet me a beer would ya?

(I couldn't call her 'dingbat'......she's doesn't deserve that)

[BuckeyeFan]

I usually can not stand Andy Rooney, but that is FUNNY!!!




Men vs. Women: Round 1

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[speber]

....the money would be rolling in! Such truth in your words!

[hawke86]

Good question. Why are wedding dresses white? Is that a rule?