Any advice welcome

[occb]

My boyfriend has a GP's appointment some time next week, and I was hoping to go with him.

Doctors stress him out and when he gets stressed, he often doesn't understand what's being said to him, and, even if he does understand, he usually is unable to say what he's thinking (I am betting this is the biggest reason why so many doctors have just ignored his long list of symptoms, and that he hasn't been diagnosed with E yet)-- because of that, I think I should go with him to speak to his doctor about his current condition, and his history of (probable) seizures. The thing is, I get the distinct feeling he doesn't want me there. He hasn't told me when it is and he seems to be avoiding talking about the appointment at all. I think he feels like he's a bother to me (I don't feel that way), and maybe that his pride is bruised by feeling like he needs a nanny.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can best broach the subject with him, and what I could say to get him to consider my coming with him?

[epileric]

Have you told him that you'd like to go with him and that it might make things easier to convey to the doctor?

[occb]

I have, but he doesn't say anything in response (he's a man of very few words most of the time. Perhaps I've just caught him at bad times). Maybe I should try again by asking him whether he wants me to come along, and his reasons for it.

[Nakamova]

Be gentle, be persistent. Even if it turns out he doesn't want you there, ask if you can together write up a list of things for him to tell the doctor. And if possible schedule something fun to do after the appointment...

Best,
Nakamova

[Bernard]

I always accompany my wife to the doctor.

The thing about seizure events is that they do affect memory. My wife does not recall important details with clarity and often gives misleading information to the doctor. It's not that she means to do it. She just doesn't recall things clearly.

If he does not want you to go to doctor with him, I'd suggest sitting down with him and making a list on paper of the items/questions that he should discuss with the doctor. You could even mark up a monthly calendar with all the suspected seizure events for the doc to get the big picture.

[occb]

Thank you for the advice nakamova and Bernard. I will definitely persist, but be gentle about it. The list suggestion is a great idea, and so is scheduling something fun afterwards.

Bernard, I hear you about the memory problems, and misleading information. He also gets very docile and suggestible and confused when he's at the doc's office, which is contrary to his personality. My fear is that he won't be able to communicate that these are symptoms he's had his entire life, not just since he's been on the Neurontin/Elavil combo. Maybe a list and a letter from me will work as well. If he remembers to bring it with him or give it to his doctor *rollseyes*

[dfwtexas]

I always have a list, my neurologist knows now to ask for the list when I come in. Seizures and/or meds can affect memory and list is great way to work with those memory issues

[darcness]

I also go to all my wife's GP and neurologist appointments with her. It's one of the nice things that's actually came out of her E. Since she can't drive, I didn't have a choice at first. Now I actually enjoy going with her, and will do so even when she can drive.

It's actually helped us to get closer and actually helped me to get over my fear of doctors and hospitals as well.

Now If I could only do something about the dentist...

The list idea is great too. My wife did that on her own thankfully. Then she of course forgot to take it in with her to the doctor. Gotta love E. Luckily the neurologist was very thorough and covered all the questions she had anyway.

[dfwtexas]

I left my list at home a few times too. But now I keep it in my purse (or he can keep it in his wallet). It is helpful too that I have it with me at all times so when I think of something, I can remember to write it on the list that moment. (or else that will be something else I will forget!)