the awkward elephant in the room

[morgan86]

so i was sitting with some of my coworkers the other day and one of them made a comment about having seizures. sorta joking. everyone laughed. this was on our break. this has happened b4. when i do tell people for whatever reason they seem to forget then make a stupid joke about it like "oh looks like hes having a seizure or i look like i had a seizure this morning cuz i looked like crap or my favorite "jeeze dont have a seizure"... i know they dont realize how i find that kinda offensive because people always seem to forget.. or maybe they dont know what i mean when i say epileptic.. they either act TOO concerned like im going to infect them or like i have 3 eyeballs or they completely dont get the hint. my question is....... what do you all do when things come up in conversation and u find them offensive.. im trying to think of a nice way to say that i am epileptic or something to make them stop the joke or whatever is going on but at the same time i dont wanna be a b**tch about it because i have a really hard time being mean and i do like these people. other than their stupid sense of humor they r pretty cool. so what do u guys out there do??? keep in mind i dont know any other epileptics except for people who were when they were really young and thats only like 1 other person.. [/FONT]

[Bernard]

I don't experience seizures myself (my wife is the one who does), but I still speak up in these kinds of situations and let people know that it is offensive/insensitive. I try to be non-threatening in communicating this and hopefully it leads to an educational discussion (not always).

[BuckeyeFan]

Usually it is not bad at all to simply ask them to not joke about seizure. Tell them they are no different than someone with cancer or other serious disease. Do it politely and 95% of the time you will get a positive response even without telling them you have E.

One thing I have found out though is to try not to embarass them if they are not trying to be rude. Just politely remind them. However, if they are doing it to be rude. Try to EMBARASS them as much as possible.

[Nakamova]

I think people WITH epilepsy are allowed to joke about it, in the right context. But people in ignorance of epilepsy use "epileptic" as a synonym for "crazy" or for "twitchy" when they're trying to make a joke about someone or something. It's worth trying to gently correct them. Maybe something along the lines of "Hey guys, it's not cool to make seizure or epilepsy jokes." If they ask why, just explain that "Epilepsy Awareness Month is coming up (it's November), or that you know people with epilepsy (which is true after all).

[morgan86]

you guys make good points. and have also answered my question which is what month is epilepsy awareness hahaha. this'll be the first time i'll be readily aware. i've spent years trying to convince myself i was just faking the seizures (related to a whole other coping problem lol) im wondering if i should get a teeshirt or something :-) ur responses were helpful. but do u have friends who sometimes just forgetyou have e ? or they say "dont u have like low blood sugar or something.. i wanna scream when people say that to me.. not that my diabetic father isnt capable of going into a seizure but still. my blood sugar is fine. i often wanna scream "dumb ass, why r u my friend if u cant remember something like that"

[Nakamova]

I know what you mean Morgan. For next month I think I'm going to type up a list of epilepsy myths plus info that I want people to know about epilepsy, and then hand it out to all my friends. We all need help remembering things about other people, and our friends are no exception, so I figure a handout can only help.