crazy complex partial this morning.. wow

[vapour]

Morning all.

think I drank too much coffee ? ... 2 cups.. or perhaps stressed about an app today.. not sure.. but this crazy.. almost amazing thing (not amazing though, seizures never are) complex partial happened this morning.

All of a sudden, I saw all these colours (I usually do but this was veryyyyy strong) and they whoosed like an explosion......and there was this LOUD rumbingsound at the same time like...

kkkkkkkkggrrrrrwwwwhhhhoosssssssssshhhhhhhhhh as these colours that i never seen before growled almost liquid colours and exploded . At this point... and this happens alot... i knew all the answers... but as quick as thi moment happened.... it ....reversed... and it all with the same noise... kkkggggrrrwwwssshhhhhhh rumbling went backwards and was gone.

I know at one moment i knew everything, and as soon as over.. I lost everything i knew. I cant tell you how in those breif moments I did infact know everything, but now I have no idea what I knew.. its forgotten.

I guess it was sort of like the big bang... perhaps it was.. and perhaps the reverse is actually what is going to happen in the future.........sucked up like a vaccum in moments......

I can describe when I knew everything I was like ahhhhh DDDD for a moment, then I know nothing aweee ((((

[Nakamova]

Wow!

[Rae1889]

That must have been almost unbareable. I think have that much knowledge would make some one insane, even for a brief moment. I would be wracking my brain for the rest of my life trying to remember it all again.

Also how has your video blog been coming. I havent seen any updates yet?

[vapour]

no video blog. I want to do it.....but its not my video cam. I do have 2...that I can put up.. from a few weeks ago.....if I were on my PC...(which is in storage because Im living with friends) then i could do it easily....

off to app at UCLA today..for psych though, my MP3 player has a voice recorder, I can record up to 10 minutes, should I do it ? rofl....then we can see what clowns they are.

This UCLA hospital came under threat of being closed down a couple of years ago (imagine that). I disagree, they should not close it down. Instead, it s hould be made mandatory that every person working here wear a clown uniform to work isntead of scrubs. That way, those of us who have the unfortunate experience of walking through those doors... know what to expect... clowns. I put this on a forum the other day actually.....here are some of the ridiculous comments I have heard coming from this cess pit...

"what is a partial seizure"

"the only EEG we do at the weekend is for the heart" This clown right here must have been smoking crack the day she learned about EEG's...I almost wanted to correct this fool but did not want to embarass her. As previously mentioned, perhaps I should.. I might have saved a few lives.

First off, they evidently dont enjoy their job, and second of all, each time I have been in this dive...someone is f****** up. If your the type of person to **** up alot, please dont work in the ER.. instead where lives are already at steak.. be a music teacher like myself....how fun !!

I CANT imagine walking into my teaching room knowing nothing about beethoven whilst trying to teach it, I am appauled at the constant lack of knowledge about THEIR OWN subject.....no offense, but this really is not making a great impression on me as far as the Universities here...are they that bad ? A UK university would not let these crack-pots step one foot through the door... they would be out on their ass....laughed right out the building...perhaps its just them.......perhaps no other hospital apart from a county will hire them...

I am actually glad I dont have generalized seizures, otherwise I would not have been able to witness such vile hideous people....I guess the reality of hell really hit me hard...can you imagine such vileness before the thrown of God ? wow....God would stamp these people into obitiration with his foot.

I hope my hand is never on the lever.. becuase that trap door would be opening VERY VERY FAST...not a chance of a second thought.

Ever since my seizure in march.....my body has been sick. I am now getting suspicious. First of all when I came out (in march) about 2 weeks later I had mucas coming out my butt for days.....then I find a cyst in my breast......then I notice 2 lumps in my lymph nodes which I had checked out and has been found to be nothing.

Now I have a chest infection....and more swollen lymph nodes......

I am suspicious for this reason:

When I was in that status epilepticus... they were running all sorts of tests .. I know they have to do this to rule out anything more serious and I had not had a concrete diagnosis at this point.....I was extremly confused and did not know what the heck was going on... but I do remmeber this...

After all the tests (I think it was after) the male nurse came in. When I first saw him, he was acting all weird, and I kept asking him what was wrong...but he would not reply, just acted as though in a bad mood....well anyway... eventually he came in with a shot......

I said... what is that... what is that.. what is that... he said.. this is to stop the seizure its ativan.. I asid waht is ativan.. he said..it will help..

well throughout this conversation he was acting VERY STRANGE....very strange indeed. I almost screamed for someone else to come in the room because I thought he was trying to kill me.. but I did not... I just let him give me the shot.

Yes it stopped the seizure...but I am now under the impression that he has given me HIV...what else could explain everything..EVER SINCE MARCH IN THAT ER....such immune stuff going on.

WHen I go to UCLA today I am asking them for a HIV test.. I am **** scared.....I dont care if they think im paranoid... heck if the tests shows I am .. then Im not paranoid.. if it shows Im not.. then oh well.. I was wrong.. no harm in seeing.

I called up my ex-psychiatrist yesterday and left a message explaining this..

I do NOT trust these people. I do nOT want to go today, but I dont have any other option. this doctor is working very closely with my neurologist and its the only way I can get neurologist meds......until i finally do get into neurologist, and unfortunatly that is at UCLA too. I dont have any other choice.. no insurance.. need the medications.....I REALLY do not want to go in today, I am extremly stressed, I think its going to be too much....I have to go to work for 3 hours afterwards to teach.

I just dont feel that great, I took a klonopin. Cant afford any other seizures, I dont feel right....I swear something is up with my body becuase of all this stuff,......when I got myself checked out aboiut 3 months ago, it all came back negative (blood tests)....but I wish to have HIV done, but sure if that was tested in the others ?

So do you think I should set hte voice recorder ? I dont know how long I will be in my app.

He wishes to discuss my hypersexuality. This has also been happening since March, and my neurologist thinks something has happened to my amygdala ? Anyway.. I love hte hypersexuality, I dont wish this to change. I am my own favourite lover, and my own best pleasure..

[vapour]

been having some de-ja-vu since the experience this morning, and it usually surrounds time for some reason. Hmm. I know I have had some amazing answers and amazing thoughts, its just a darn shame when its over .. they are gone... fleeting moment....

At least this one did not involve extreme terror. My last complex partial (before this) was a few weeks ago I think....and I had an out-of-body-experience.... a few days later, I wanted to find a psychic store, becuase the only thing I could think was that someone was trying to summon my spirit, a group of people, and I wanted to know why...I didnt do it... did not want to be locked away on the psych ward.... or thrown out of a place..so I will never know.

[Rae1889]

record it. But not right away, as you'll only get the filler part of introductions. but keep it in your lap like a cell phoen, and click it when you think you should.

[tam bam]

Hey Vapour, once again I can relate to you. Wow, can I relate to you! The knowing everything and having a complex partial seizure I can totally relate to. I have had this happen many, many times. I love this feeling. Too bad it doesn't last though. Shucks! The colors happen as well. Sometimes I am in the bathroom and I have a funky shower curtain and the colors will move on me. It is kind of fun. They will get really huge then really small. It is like you described, bursting at times. Kind of like Alice and Wonderland. Boy can I totally relate to that story.

Before getting on a certain birth control I used to have the hypersexuality for years. Never related it to the seizures until now but I think the birth control helped with it. I still have times where it doesn't work but for the most part it helps. Maybe you can talk to an OB-GYN about this. Depo Provera helps and so does Mirena. I would talk to someone about this. I read somewhere that having Complex Partial seizures can cause hypersexuality.

tam bam

[Rae1889]

Maybe you can talk to an OB-GYN about this. Depo Provera helps and so does Mirena.

I took the Depo needle and I believe it to be one of the reasons my seizures became more prominent. It messed with my hormones very badly, made me gain a ton of weight. (i was 18, 100 pounds, 5 foot nothing, and suddenly I was 150 pounds in 2 months.) it gave me horrible pain from my skin stretching, and also mimics the feeling of contractions. The part where you dont get your period is nice, but other than that it sucks, and when you decide to come off it, your enxt period is like death!

[RobinN]

Have you been tested for parasites?