Cyber Bullies

[RobinN]

I am sure this could make a movie of the week ... here is the second half of our emotional saga.
Along with the hassles at the ice rink...

Rebecca befriended a girl and they were good chums for about a year. I have met the parents and watched this saga unfold. The girl seemed to have some seizure issues, but we are not sure if they were a previous disorder or if they began after she met Rebecca. This is still unclear, but I give the girl the benefit of the doubt, because I don't want people prejudging Rebecca. This relationship was a typical teenage friendship. However, then I noticed that this girl had a romantic interest in Rebecca. Rebecca actually dealt with this better than I could have at that age, but it eventually had some very strange components to the story, so Rebecca cut off the relationship.

I first noticed some troubles when I received a threatening email that supposedly came from Rebecca's Yahoo acct. to my email, which she has never uses. Rebecca was asleep at the time. So then I went and looked at her Myspace page. At first glance it appeared okay, but then after reading some of the questions that Rebecca answered it was obvious that someone had hacked her acct and was changing it. I attempted to change the password and then clean up the contents. But obviously whoever had hacked the account knew enough about Rebecca to answer the security questions. I sent letters to Myspace, then went to bed. It was 2 am. The next day there was porn all over her Myspace page. Her Facebook had also been hacked into, her passwords changed, her Google mail which she uses had the password changed as well. Facebook wouldn't speak to me, unless I used the mail account set up with Facebook. This was impossible because the acct was unaccessible.

Really nasty, mean things were sent out to all of Rebecca's contacts. As well as to a group page at her high school. This was taking it much too far. At that point I contacted the police. I was told there was nothing they could do. I did take page shots of some of the contents, but they said it would be very difficult to find out who exactly was doing this. A report was taken. Rebecca was warned about having pages like this. Come on, many are doing it safely, and for a kid like this sometimes you don’t want to be so darn different. I do constantly monitor these pages, and most of her friends have always known that.

Then we find out that “this person” the Hack-ie, had taken out a page that was somehow connected to Rebecca's school group page on Facebook, titled something about “the girl I hacked into”. Many of Rebecca's friends joined that group, and she was told it was basically a TRASH Rebecca page. Ever seen Mean Girls? Well Rebecca's closest friend signed up for that page.

I have been trying to contact the officer on her campus, but she has not yet returned my call. I think I will go over there in a bit and try to discuss this with her. We know who started the last group page, but it no longer exists. I am not sure if they can meet with other students and get the low down, and use that as a reason to talk with this girls family or not.

Rebecca has had to leave her group of friends because she does not feel wanted. Luckily she is wanted in the student store, and has some friends that stay with her there. She works and keeps busy. How awful to spend your day hiding out, and have who-knows-how-many-people talking about you.

Luckily she has her therapist to cry to this afternoon.
I ache for her.
Going to get her a really yummy sandwich right now, from Fresh Gourmet... while all the other kids have to eat the cafe crud.

Thanks for letting me vent

(and yes ... she learned how to make a password that isn't easily figured out)

[Birdbomb]

These will help

Cyberstalking

Cyber Bullying

Internet Crime Complaint Center

[RobinN]

Thanks BB
A lot of good info that I am going to be reading carefully.
I appreciate it.

[Birdbomb]

Had LOTS of experiance in this field. Been cyberstalked for almost 4 years now.

[CQ:)]

Oh no Robin, I'm really sorry to hear that Rebecca is going through this.

Do you know who has caused all the trouble or do you just have some ideas who it is?

This must be stressful for Rebecca which wouldn't be good for her seizures but she sounds like a strong girl .

I hope you are able to get it all sorted out really soon.

[tinasmom]

What a horrible thing to happen to Rebecca. Kids can be so cruel and now days with all the technology we have, they can spread things so fast. It almost sounds to me like this other girl is trying to get back at her and might be fearful that Rebecca will tell other kids about her experience with this girl. I sure hope that you can get this settled as soon as possible and tell Rebecca to hang in there. Even though it is hard as a teenager to understand, only true friends will stick by you no matter what.

[brain]

I do not understand why the Police Dept
had or not wanting any involvement!

Another OPTION YOU CAN DO is, via your
INTERNET SERVER - they can trace it
down.

I cannot understand why Facebook will
not work with you in the situation like
this, and since I have direct contact
with them (because of the Epilepsy
Foundation and other Epilepsy Organi-
zations in Facebook). PM me - and I
will get a hold of them, and correspond
to them - and get them to get a hold
of you ... DIRECTLY!

Now myspace.com - IS WEIRD! Some
times I think they intentionally TRY to
provoke seizures ... sometimes they
try to unravel my nerves; but I finally
put my foot down with them and
unraveled them with the help of all the
Organizations that came plowing down
on them after what they did to me
before ... I don't completely trust them.
They're loopy. Sometimes I think they
drink 50 gallons of Jack Daniels before
they head to work sometimes! But they
do have a link where if your account has
been hacked into, I can get that info for
you as well via PM ... but one word of
warning ... they are slower than a SNAIL
and I'm serious!

====================

THERE IS A FEDERAL LAW against
Cyberbullying, Cyberstalking, Cyber-
hacking ... and if this person indeed
performed it, it's a Federal Offense to
Felony - don't matter if the person is
a Juvenile or an a Adult. They've made
arrests to children as young as 13 years
of age! It was even on the media.

This is ONE thing I don't understand nor
get is why your Police didn't get into it.

AND above all things ...

HOW did this person get the password?
Did she give it to her, or did she write
it down and she found it? Or what???

[Bernard]

Perhaps this article would be a good springboard for a dialogue with Rebecca's school:

...Last October, a Missouri teenager hanged herself after receiving spiteful messages on MySpace from what she thought was an online love interest. It was actually an older neighbor and her daughter.

Although that case was isolated and extreme, Northwest Florida is not immune to cyberbullying.

A 14-year-old boy was arrested last fall for threatening another boy on MySpace.

“I’m gonna let you decide .12 gauge or .22,” an Oct. 17 threat read, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office report.

The boy was arrested at Crestview High School. He admitted he sent the message to scare the victim, but denied that he would have followed through with any threat.

Local school officials say that type of incident is not the norm. Although cyberbullying has emerged, they claim the number of bullying cases has actually decreased.

They say schools’ approach to bullying has changed dramatically since the mass shooting at Columbine High School.

“It’s our 9/11,” said Gerry Sansom, Okaloosa’s coordinator of high schools, health and athletics.

Superintendent of Schools Alexis Tibbetts said school officials are much more attentive to bullying reports. ...

New face of harassment: Cyberbullying

[RobinN]

Thanks all... I gave the police the name this week, and they are going to go have a chat with the girl in question. I have also started informing the school what has gone on, and we will see how they handle it.

So we will see where we are at next week. All a stupid waste of time.

[xenome]

Wow, I cant belive this kind of stuff actually goes on.
I am 27 and I feel old. We didnt do things like this 10 years ago. Teenagers "cyberbulling" other kids, threatening them? For what reason?? What fun is there is do that?? Dont they have anything better to do, seriously...

Robin, whenever I see your posts on the forums about what Rebecca goes through I think about what a great mom you must be.

Cheers to you!

[RobinN]

Thanks xenome- that was a very kind thing to say. I needed it this morning because Rebecca blew up at me last night, and I was wondering how what I said caused the blow up. She is really on edge lately, and twists comments around. Part teenager and part teenager going through emotional garbage that does not need to be in her life.

This is a whole new world. My son who is 22, never had this going on when he was younger too. It was beginning but all of the social networks were not in play at the time. You would think that they have better things to do, but then again even CWE has been hit from time to time. You would think in this day and age we could raise more enlightened human beings.

[xenome]

I used to have a similar situation to Rebecca. Its really tough to have epilepsy as a teenager. Then she has to deal with all this other stuff like cyberbullying. I used to lash out at my own mom when I was her age and I regret it now. If she just hangs in there, with your support, Im sure things will get better.

[brain]

I needed it this morning because Rebecca blew up at me last night, and I was wondering how what I said caused the blow up.

Robin - I don't think you did
anything ... it's the extra
baggage she's having to 'carry
and doesn't know how to
unleash it all' so instead she
unleashed it on you (didn't
mean to but it was building
up inside of her and it had
to go somewhere - so don't
take it personally ... just be
glad she unleashed it on YOU
and not someone else where
she could have gotten herself
into 'possibility' into serious
trouble! Think about it!

If I were you - I'd take her
down to K-Mart or Wal*Mart
and get one of those LONG
Huggable Pillows (they're
cheap) ... and have her draw
a face with a magic marker ...
and then tell her to beat the
*crap* out of it. Let her beat,
punch, kick, yell, and pound
that pillow on the bed. It will
make her feel better and get
it all out of her system.

My son has one - but he didn't
want to draw any faces on it,
so when he gets mad; he goes
into his bedroom and grabs it
and does exactly that!

1) No one gets hurt
2) It's a stress reliever
3) He (and your daughter) will
feel better afterwards because
they feel 'victorious'
4) No one gets hurt
5) Ignore the profanities (I
know it can be hard - but let
it all out of their system)

*** I brought this pillow for
my son when he was 13 or
14 after when he was beat up
by a gang of boys who made
fun of him at school (bullies)
and while he was hurt; the
bullies were suspended, but
he harbored resentment, hurts
and bitterness - but through
this pillow; he unleashed his
fury back ... and was able to
move forward and be fine.

Now he sleeps with it a lot.

AND PLUS ... when he gets
really frustrated, he goes into
his bedroom and pounds that
pillow out of frustration.

It's a trick I learned from my
neurologist whom I had so much
frustration with dealing with
these seizures when he told
me a long, long time ago for
me to "Go pound and beat up
a King-Sized Pillow" - it did
work. I've used it once in a
blue moon, and I've even held
it to cry on.

Just a suggestion - it's cheaper
than a expensive Gym boxing
or punching bag!