Emotional

[Trinity]

I've felt really emotional of late - like I would say probably for the last month. It seems like there is so much going on in my life and it's all going into a downward spiral. A lot of it has to do with the Epilepsy and the fact that i've recently started having trouble with it again. It also has a lot to do with the workload I have going along with that. I just wish I could catch a break somewhere along the line. I have other things as well that i'm feeling emotional about but I really think that those two things are what's making it ten times harder. My supervisor has been great - she's so understanding. I know that I wouldn't blame her for having bitch slapped me by now for being behind on a deadline even in spite of everything. Also my husband has been reminding me that I need to look for work for next year. There is a great possibility that the place where i'm working at now will have something and they want to keep me on but it's just not definite. I'm hanging out to hear if i'm staying or not because I just love it so much. I don't want to work anywhere else and the thought of going to another workplace just freaks me out. I'm going to let my boss know today that I really need to know very soon because I may need to accept other opportunities. Hopefully that would push him along just a little.

So i'm just wondering if all the trouble you have with your Epilepsy and the effect it's having on the rest of your life makes you that much more emotional than usual?

And for the record, yes my neurologist is aware that i've been having more trouble with my seizures again. We are working on getting it stabilised.

[RobinN]

Trinity - So sorry to hear that you are having a rough time.
I can only speak from the knowledge of observation. I have never felt the symptoms, though at times I would be willing to take them from my daughter.
Looking from the outside in, I wonder if you are caught in a cyclical pattern. You are overloaded and you worry and fear an episode, which sets you up for one. Then having one puts more fear in the fact that you don't want to lose a job that is comforting and supportive, because who knows what the next one will be like. I guess this is a form of kindling.

I think there is no doubt that seizures run havoc on your life, and make you more emotional. I think though so does poor diet, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, chemical and hormonal imbalances and more.

So which came first? I don't know why but I just keep coming back to nutritional causes (for many.. not all)

I hope you receive positive news from your current boss. I am sure that would take a load off of your shoulders.

[TeeTees]

Hey Trinity,

Chin up. I can honestly say, been there, seen it, done it.....and it's not a fun place to be, but what gains will you get from worrying about it ? Easy for me to say sitting here right now, but it's a little reality check that we ALL need to make at times. All this worrying and stress is just going to push the wrong buttons with your E, and you don't want that on top off everything else.

Try approaching your Supervisor by saying more positive things such as 'do you think there is a possible chance that my position, or a position, within the company will become permanent ?', and 'if so, I don't mean to sound pushy but I would be most grateful if you could look into this for me as I need to make sure I'm still employed for next year'. If you approach them with more threatening lines such as 'I need to know right now about circumstances', it will turn the offence into a defence for her, and you could find this off-putting for her - which is somewhere you don't want to put her.

Hope this helps, and best of luck

[Birdbomb]

Trinity

Once you get your seizures under control, I don't think you'll won't feel so displaced. All the uncertainty of when and where the next one will hit is enough to make ANYONE more emotional.

The trick is to try and keep it in prespective and not dwell on the negitive. That is a major step for a lot of people, myself included. Once I made that realization, the pieces of my life started to fit together again.

Sure the thought of a seizure is always in the back of my mind, but I'm not going to allow fear to rule me. If it happens, it happens, I'll pick up the pieces and move on. I found using humor acts as a buffer towards the negative aspects of my life. God knows there's more than my fair share of weirdness going on arround me, I just try to disarm it with humor. It works for me. Maybe music or writing poetry will be your buffer. Find your buffer and USE it girl! (((hugs)))

[brain]

Epilepsy can effect your emotions and your
emotional well being. From Frustrations to
Depressions. At times it makes you want to
pull all your hair out.

Now you see why people HATE EPILEPSY
so much! It's enough to drive one asinine!
But once it's under control and stabilized,
then it's *sigh* ....

[S-J Walsh]

Hi there, I am also an outsider who sees the profound effects of having seizures. My 17 year old dtr has them and she does indeed get depressed at times. I hope you can negotiate a position with the company you are currently with. That would probably release some of the stress you are dealing with. The unknown can be very daunting and scary, like not knowing what you'll be doing next year. Remember, everything happens for a reason because there is a plan in place for you and everyone else on this great planet. Even if you don't get the position you want, you will probably find something that is a better fit for you with less deadlines that appear to be adding to your stress factors. Just make sure you keep in close touch with your physician(s) and get your seizures back under control. I wish you all the best in 2008. s-j

[Bee91]

Hi, I understand what you are going through and I am truly sorry. Lately the same has happened with me. I've been pretty depressed also. Even though my seizures have gotten a lot better than what they have been, they are still not 100% controlled. I feel as if I don't have any control and my seizures are running my life. My seizures are in control over me. -and I don't like that. And being a teenager, I want some freedom. But because of my seizures, my parents are more...hesitant...to let me do things and when I am able to do something, I have a hard time finding a friend willing to spend time with me without having any adults around incase something was to happen..and not being able to drive sucks!

I hope things get better for you,
Brandi

[RobinN]

Come to CA Brandi. Rebecca could also use a friend that understands. Something must be in the air lately.

[Bee91]

I should... hehe..that would be fun

[stringbean]

Trinity,
I am really sorry to hear you are going through this.
I also for the last month have not been doing to good, emotionaly, it is just like one bad thing after another just keeps happening, and the emotions all these differnt episodes cause really puts alot on you.
I have learned to fight it as hard as I can, and I know that at times can be very hard to do.
I have been having alot of break through seizures lately and I just do my best to tell myself you are going to get through this and then your emotions will calm down.
Best Wishes,
Tammy

[toni g]

I'm... having a rough week and it can be sooooo disappointing, but as others have said we just have to keep picking ourselves up and hope for better times. I really thought Lamictal was working for me, no partials for over three weeks and then wham....been having more then usual. My neurologist even upped my meds and still they keep breaking through, it is so frustrating ! But after I have had my little pout, I try to gather my strength and hope for better control.......I'll be sending my thoughts your way.......toni g

[Nancy]

Here's a hug for (((Toni))) You sure sound like a good one

[doihaveepilepsy]

well i no how everyone is feeling too, i am feeling so depressed today, i have not been diagnosed as epileptic but i have seizures still waiting on diagnosis got to see a dr specialisng in E first.

my week has gone from bad to worse and its only tuesday, i feel emotionally drained all the time i have tried so hard to stay positive but its hard when your whole life evrything you have worked for has been thrown into turmoil, i am not allowed to work and i may be sacked from my job, my pay has stopped so i am recieving no income at all and i have direct debits coming out of my bank (nightmare) i cannot drive, and my social life is non-exitent as a trip out can usually end up in accident and emergency which isnt good at all. god why is life so complicated.

i try to think to myself that there are alot of people worse off than me out there, and on here and i then feel even worse becuase i feel selfish vicious circle isnt it damn!!!

[epileric]

I've just gotten over a short depressed state too that lasted a couple of days. Usually it's triggered by something someone says or how they react to me, as though I'm saying something weird.

This last time I met a very nice person at a coffee house who was studying various diseases to work with children & we got talking about E. (I wasa reading the E, a new approach book). There was one awkward silence (I can't remember what I'd said beforehand) but he also asked me if I drank. It wasn't until after we'd parted ways that I translated that remark as an accusation & that triggered the depression. Part of it is the frustration that I never thought to ask why he would ask that (I'm a little vertigous from my anti-epileptic drug's) & to explain it to him. I also think that 2 days of depression caused by a strangers remark is a bit much but that's how my emotions seem to work.

Does anyone else find they react similarly?

[swim9]

I am sorry to hear. Just hang in there .
I have had epilepsy most of my life. When I was working I had to cut down my hours because the stress and lack of sleep caused me to keep having seizures. I kept fearing in losing my job but I was lucky that one of our bosses had eplilepsy. So he knew what it was like. Also I find anything emotional triggers my seizures.