Kate
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I'm in a semi-new relationship. We've been dating for awhile, and he's known from the start that I have epilepsy. He also knows it's not quite under control, and that I feel absolutely awful after having one. He knows I broke my wrist from a seizure awhile ago.. he knows its not healed and Im in treatment / may need surgery... He's seen me have a tc, followed the ambulance (apparently I didn come out of it - he didnt know what to do) and was in the hospital with me.)
Lately, we've been getting closer. As in, more touchy. We cuddle more, kiss more, etc. That's normally okay.. but.. I had a tc the other night and Im stil getting over it. (sleeping a ton, just feel like crap.) I apparently fell down and I am bruised all over. I hurt so badly, and I don't feel like being touched. AT ALL.
I don't know why this is.. but I really can't stand it. When we watch a movie I lay in my recliner and make him sit on the couch. He complains and complains.. but I just cannot "cuddle" right now. I'm doing all I can to even have company, but we're in an LDR and he's visiting from far away so this is my only time with him anyway.
My Keppra has also been upped. I'm on pain pills for my wrist, and sleeping pills, anxiety pills.. I feel like a walking zombie. He's lucky he gets any emotion out of me. I'm in so much pain.
Oh, I forgot to mention.. my parents are in Hawaii right now. And I miss them so bad. I can't talk to my mom or dad on the phone without crying. And I'm freaking 20. I'm just in so much pain all over, and my head, ugh, my head hurts so bad.
I have my brother, who does understand.. and my boyfriend (who obviously just doesn't get it.)
How can I help him understand? I've tried to explain to him, imagine all the muscles in your body just contracting and all, (like the seizure) and the pain you'd be in after. And the pain I'm in from my head.. etc. Not to mention me falling down. PLUS I have my chronic pain, which he knows about. He's generally understanding..I need to be loved.. I just need his love.. from a distance.
By the way. Im sobbing why write this. I am on Effexor XR.. and the omrning after the seizure, in the emergency room ( I have no memories of this ) - I woke up AT HOME in a hospital robe and a ton of pain. Then I realized I hadnt taken my morning medicines, other then seizure medicine which had been given to me. My brother didnt give me the Effexor, so I called my doctor.. and he said to expect extreme lows of emotion, but to contuine taking it. Im a mess! Ive never felt so depressed.. EVER. Ya'll know me. You know Im this happy posiive person. Right now, I dont even want to leave tihs chair and shower. I just want my parents to get home.... and all the physical pain to go away, which I dont see happening. (and the depression - ugh, thats a whole other story!)
Lately, we've been getting closer. As in, more touchy. We cuddle more, kiss more, etc. That's normally okay.. but.. I had a tc the other night and Im stil getting over it. (sleeping a ton, just feel like crap.) I apparently fell down and I am bruised all over. I hurt so badly, and I don't feel like being touched. AT ALL.
I don't know why this is.. but I really can't stand it. When we watch a movie I lay in my recliner and make him sit on the couch. He complains and complains.. but I just cannot "cuddle" right now. I'm doing all I can to even have company, but we're in an LDR and he's visiting from far away so this is my only time with him anyway.
My Keppra has also been upped. I'm on pain pills for my wrist, and sleeping pills, anxiety pills.. I feel like a walking zombie. He's lucky he gets any emotion out of me. I'm in so much pain.
Oh, I forgot to mention.. my parents are in Hawaii right now. And I miss them so bad. I can't talk to my mom or dad on the phone without crying. And I'm freaking 20. I'm just in so much pain all over, and my head, ugh, my head hurts so bad.
I have my brother, who does understand.. and my boyfriend (who obviously just doesn't get it.)
How can I help him understand? I've tried to explain to him, imagine all the muscles in your body just contracting and all, (like the seizure) and the pain you'd be in after. And the pain I'm in from my head.. etc. Not to mention me falling down. PLUS I have my chronic pain, which he knows about. He's generally understanding..I need to be loved.. I just need his love.. from a distance.
By the way. Im sobbing why write this. I am on Effexor XR.. and the omrning after the seizure, in the emergency room ( I have no memories of this ) - I woke up AT HOME in a hospital robe and a ton of pain. Then I realized I hadnt taken my morning medicines, other then seizure medicine which had been given to me. My brother didnt give me the Effexor, so I called my doctor.. and he said to expect extreme lows of emotion, but to contuine taking it. Im a mess! Ive never felt so depressed.. EVER. Ya'll know me. You know Im this happy posiive person. Right now, I dont even want to leave tihs chair and shower. I just want my parents to get home.... and all the physical pain to go away, which I dont see happening. (and the depression - ugh, thats a whole other story!)
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