Hallucinations at hospital with multiple drugs...

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LJ-Bain

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I just got home today from a 3 day hospital stay after a large cluster of seizures that unfortunately happened at work.

For someone who is repeatedly being told that my seizures are psychogenic they sure do jump on them and treat them as epileptic.

My work is very understanding when I have to take breaks but they couldn't rouse me this time around and an ambulance had to be called.
I already had 2mg of ativan in me by the time they came around and they determined me to be seizing because of my clenched jaw, twitching eyes and stiff muscles.
They gave me some valium.
When I went to the hospital they gave me some midazolam and more ativan.

I must have been as high as a kite.
My husband said I talked about seeing my hair on the ceiling (I recently got it cut really short) and that I could see Grandmas on the celings and that I was talking to our dog who wasn't there of course.

I'm terrified of being intubated again so when I finally came around I kept on asking to go home. I would say things like, "I know why I'm here, but why am I STILL here? Aren't they psychogenic?"
They would make murmuring non commital noises and say that they want to keep me around for observation purposes.
They made reference to "MRI" results that I still haven't received that they could not tell me about or say if anything was found and that only my neurologist can. Man. After all the hooplah over these mri results I bet it's something that I already know. I mean, if it was something major I would know by now, right? It was done over a month ago.

Anyways, anyone else have fun hallucination stories?
 
I remember vaguely after leaving the ICU 2 years ago having hallucinations. I had so many rescue seizure drugs in me and was toxic on Valproate Acid at the time too. As I was leaving I remember grass growing up quickly through the grout in the tile and flowers sprouting. I also remember a blue sparkly gold fish swimming in the air, but it was about the size of a large dog. I could help but laugh because I understood why people took hallucinogenic drugs at that moment. Even though I was terrified to say I was seeing such things.

I am also terrified of being intubated again. I have reoccuring nightmares about it and hospitals give me the heeby jeebies.
 
For someone who is repeatedly being told that my seizures are psychogenic they sure do jump on them and treat them as epileptic.
Click to expand...
Maybe now the docs will take a closer look at your symptoms, and toss the psychogenic diagnosis out the window. I'm glad you're out of the hospital LJ, hope you feel better soon.
 
Thanks Nakamova. I see my neurologist finally this Thursday so we'll see what he has to say. I'm hesitant to think that I'll get any straight answers but one can hope!

Rae: Those are some pretty beautiful hallucinations! That must say something about your spirit. Although a fish as a big as a dog might be a little scary...but at least it was sparkly!
And yes...intubation is terrifying. I don't wish it on anyone. I don't blame you at all for getting the willies at hospitals the way they treated you. I find them to be a necessary evil. But I don't exactly enjoy going. I try to find something positive about each time even if it is just to enjoy people watching. My roomate liked to talk in her sleep and would shout out "That's right!" and "36-24-32" and there was an older gentleman down the hall screaming out "Mother! I've been a good boy! Can I have some candy now?" And at least it was air conditioned. I got lots of rest. But we'll see if I can stay more than a month away from the hospital this time around.
 
I once had a lovely conversation with the lamp by my hospital bed when I was put on morphine after a bad injury to my right knee. :D
It was a Catholic hospital, and I could have sworn I was talking to a nun, but my family and the doctors/nurses all said it was a lamp...

Another time I saw a teenage boy, probably 15 years old, riding a bike. Only he was pedaling, but he went backwards, and phased through a wall... like if your played footage of a person riding a bike in reverse. I went into a T/C seizure about 10 seconds later. I brought it up with my neuro because I was worried I was becoming schizophrenic or something, but he said it was likely a visual hallucination caused by my seizure spreading to my visual cortex shortly before I seized... that was also right after my first dose of Trileptal, which I found out shortly afterwords I was allergic to, so it probably had something to do with that.

Nothing like that has ever happened again, and I'm thankful, because it was really scary. Not in a "I feel threatened" way but in the "Am I going insane?" way... :?
 
I am going through a really hard time right now, and you guys made me laugh so hard! Not like "its funny because you had seizures" but because of the things you saw and did. Grandmas on the ceiling? Wow LOL
 
Silat and Rae1889

I have to agree with soehls, this is the first good laugh I havd had. I am not laughing at you, but the Hallucinations, Silat I think your is brillant, mind you I did go show jumping in a cemetary on - no not a horse - a sweeping brush with legs, Its not funny
 
I haven't had hallucinations but my oh my would I be scared. You poor thing - you have been through so much. I have such compassion for you all but also truly LOVE the relationships forged here that support us through all of these difficult times. It is so nice to have others going through the same things AND support, even make you laugh when others just worry.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2
 
Soehls, message me. Seems we are going through similar things right now! Maybe we can calm each other down LOL! Glad you are ok LJ-Bain!!
 
Yep, got to admit they are good even though they scare the day lights out of you.
Thanks everybody.
 
LJ,

What an awful ordeal. I haven't been to the ER for a seizure myself, but have read a bunch of posts in the forum about tht topic.

I don't know about Canada, but sometimes in the U.S. they still give you drugs and still treat you even if they think it is psychogenic, just to cover their legal a**es. Also because they could be wrong and they are epileptic seizures and deep harm could come to the patient if they ignore it. Also because psychogenic seizures can be harmful, too.

You have a right to a copy of your hospital chart, including doctor's notes and test results. In fact I highly recommend everyone always get a copy after any visit to any doctor or hospital. You may find it enlightening in ways you don't expect. Call the records department and find out what you have to do to get it. It usually involves forms, and the wait you just mentioned.
 
a year and a half ago I ended up at the ER after waking up in extraordinary pain- I gave in to my mom and lost contact somewhere along the way-
I now recall vague blips of the experience that have slowly pieced themselves together into a "sensible" scenario timespan, that still doesn't really make sense. I was given morphine for the pain and I think that had an effect on my ability to sensibly grasp what was going on, on top of whatever type of postictal state I was in :ponder: hm I wonder

I recall several things about which I am mortified, which I just remind myself to not acknowledge, because it's in the past, and frankly I've never known what is real about the whole timespan, which was many hours.

Dallas' busiest ER, mind-shattering pain, .. I think I snapped into a psychotic episode at some point. At least that's how I've come to explain it to myself.
I remember being there.. but it wasn't ME.. it was like a primordial ooze that was deep within my psyche somewhere that was making unguided and snap decisions and assessments on my behalf. totally out there. animal.
funny, because I just searched the site for searchword "morphine" to see if there was any info, and it came up with your thread
but yeah- totally f***ed - I have no idea. I've had some experience with hard drugs back years and years and years ago: LSD, ecstacy, psilocibe mushrooms once - nothing compares to that timespan in the ER.
it was more like dreams blending in to reality, with my hormones amok off the chart- anger, fear... with that postictal having-no-clue feeling.
and then along with the initial head-back ache like I'd never experienced before (maybe as intense as when I broke my back, but a much sharper pain)


LJ-Bain said:
I just got home today from a 3 day hospital stay after a large cluster of seizures that unfortunately happened at work.

For someone who is repeatedly being told that my seizures are psychogenic they sure do jump on them and treat them as epileptic.

My work is very understanding when I have to take breaks but they couldn't rouse me this time around and an ambulance had to be called.
I already had 2mg of ativan in me by the time they came around and they determined me to be seizing because of my clenched jaw, twitching eyes and stiff muscles.
They gave me some valium.
When I went to the hospital they gave me some midazolam and more ativan.

I must have been as high as a kite.
My husband said I talked about seeing my hair on the ceiling (I recently got it cut really short) and that I could see Grandmas on the celings and that I was talking to our dog who wasn't there of course.

I'm terrified of being intubated again so when I finally came around I kept on asking to go home. I would say things like, "I know why I'm here, but why am I STILL here? Aren't they psychogenic?"
They would make murmuring non commital noises and say that they want to keep me around for observation purposes.
They made reference to "MRI" results that I still haven't received that they could not tell me about or say if anything was found and that only my neurologist can. Man. After all the hooplah over these mri results I bet it's something that I already know. I mean, if it was something major I would know by now, right? It was done over a month ago.

Anyways, anyone else have fun hallucination stories?
Click to expand...
 
Just wanting to check in to see how your appointment went with the neurologist?
 
Ive never had hallucinations but have had very weird dreams when I've been sick and there were times in the hospital, I'd dream I was at home and when I woke up, I wondered why the doctor was in my bedroom. lol

Sorry you went through that, hopefully now you'll get some answers. Been in an ambulance many times, 6 times total, two of which were two different ambulances in one day. And hospitalized 3 weeks first time, 4 days second time, two days third time and 1 day 4th time. Each time was either on a holiday or around one and brain surgery day before my birthday with staying in the hospital on my birthday.

My work is understanding of my illnesses too thank goodness.
 
one thing I recall is interpreting questions as very invasive and assaultive
I guess that's why they were mostly talking with my parents
I recall some bizarre questions about my sexuality, sexual practices, about my finances, and politics... and I'm not really sure if I was interpreting things that way, dreaming it, ranting about them, or what
totally fucking weird
I obviously have had a fear/invasion sensation postictal - and that has been with seizures in comfort zones - I wonder if having ictal phases in the hospital and the associated invasive/fear effects compounded exponentially in relation to the amount of interaction
I remember being on the floor at some point, restrained (which I think was due to the bed)
the hospital where I was has been undergoing a massive overhaul.
I've wondered if I may have been victim to this also which may account for some issues:
http://www.dallasnews.com/health/he...l-hospital-to-temporarily-close-psych-er1.ece
Parkland Memorial is temporarily shuttering its troubled psychiatric ER for renovation while suspending longer-term care for the mentally ill, according to an internal bulletin sent to employees this morning.
The hospital is remodeling the existing psych ER, the scene of numerous cases of abuse and neglect during recent years, beginning Thursday to boost capacity and improve care, the newsletter said.
 
I wish my experiences could be as seemingly humorous as some on this thread
 
Petero...you're right when you say "seemingly humourous".
I think that I use humour as a defense mechanism. I think hallucinations are disturbing...I often find myself telling stories (especially at work) to make light of my seizures to make people think that they are no big deal and try to get them not to worry about me.

When really they are a big deal. Of course they are.

And also, nobody is truly themself when they are post-ictal. I couldn't figure out how to even use a land line phone a couple of weeks ago.
But it's a good thing that the hospital is remodeling their psych ER, right? Not so good about their history of abuse and neglect.
We are all so vulnerable when we need help and we have to place our trust into the care of medical professionals when they are only human too.

Angel: I remember when I was a teenager that around 11pm I got up and went to the kitchen and started to pour myself a bowl of cereal and get ready for school. My parents walked into the kitchen and asked what I was doing? When they told it was not the morning I just said, Oh. And then went back to bed.
Dr.s in your bedroom? Cute.
It sounds like you kept the ER dept. hopping in the past. Nobody wants to spend their birthday that way that is for sure.
We are lucky to have understanding employers. I plan to remain loyal to mine with all that they have put with!
 
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Most of my simple partials start off with hallucinations. To start with they were all olfactory, and usually really pleasant like baking bread and stuff like that. Now they are often are like melting plastic. I also get visual and auditory hallucinations as well. The auditory ones can freak the hell out of me, especially if I am alone. They are usually footsteps, mumbling noises or the phone ringing. The visuals aren't too bad, just patterns shifting, which can be quite pleasant.
 
How about one's where you think someone said this, when they said something else, not an entire sentence but a word or two that make you think, did they just say that?
 
Some things I read make me wonder if hallucinations are heightened by psychological phenomenon of punishment/reward. Seeing seizures as a sort of 'punishment' the mind loses perspective of reality...?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusional_disorder#Examples
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effort_justification

how about this: perception of the seizures as a punishment, our minds seek out some kind of reward for enduring it. When no reward comes, the mind alters perceptions of reality to justify it-
depression is an obvious one: "I'm punished - I must have done something wrong"
and hallucination: "I don't know what it is I've done wrong - so, reality must be different than what I've interpreted it to be" and the mind alters reality?
 
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