help please! teacher wants to tell

[jazz'smum]

Hello everyone
Jacinta has been having a rough time at school with name calling and children laughing at her.This has been going on for a few weeks now due to her seizures worsening and being very obvious.
I had spoken to her teacher when this was first happening, he spoke to Jacinta about telling the children about her epilepsy so they would be aware and understand what is happening...Jacinta said no and was very adamant.
She has had some nasty remarks made this week and i have just spoken to her teacher, he wants to tell 2 classes of year 5 students that is 60 children!...i am so sad and feel so decietful.
He has said he will tell Jacinta first and explain why and why he thinks this is best.
I am very uncertain and really sad what is best ?

[brain]

Have you consulted with your Epilepsy Action
in Australia for Support and Advisories in
your Providence?

If not - Click on the logo below immediately
and call them for support and advisories, the
links are available below - either via the map
or the links below the map and they will be
of assistance to you in Australia:

[forward2007]

I used to have seizures in front of my grade school class during the 1980's. My Neurologist at the time happened to be the Dad of one of my classmates! So my Neurologist came to the class and explained to them what epilepsy is in a way that grade school kids would understand. I'm not going to pretend it was the most comfortable moment of my life sitting in class while he explained what epilepsy is. But looking back on it, I am glad I was given the chance to have a Neurologist explain to my class what I was going through in a way that they would understand. It took away a lot of the myths about epilepsy.

[tinasmom]

I believe that if you educate people, they understand. Especially with children, once they know why these things are happening to another child they no longer make fun. It's a really hard decision because your daughter does not want anyone to know. Maybe if you explain to her that kids tend to make fun of what they don't understand. If they know that she has no control over this, it might make things easier for her. I'm sure she thinks that this might make things worse or be embarassing for her. There is nothing to be embarassed about because she has no control. Maybe if you, your daughter and the teacher were to sit down and discuss the way to present it to her classmates, she might be more willing to let them know. Maybe she could do a presentation about how seizures happen and why. Her classmates might just want to know more and ask questions.

I would not let the teacher tell her classmates without both you and your daughters permission.

[RobinN]

Has she told you what her reasoning is for not wanting them to know?

[jazz'smum]

Thanks Brain, I got off the phone really upset and got straight on to your forum.
I will contact Epilepsy Action, if someone that knows a lot about epilepsy speaks to the children it will help them understand more, I dont think i could do it (im quiet teary about it) and her teacher doesnt really know enough.
I think all the teachers at her school need some education on epilepsy, I know that Jacinta isnt the only child there that has epilepsy.

Jacintas teacher will speak to Jacinta and myself before he tells the class.
I will suggest that someone from Epilepsy action could speak and i been given an idea after reading forward2007s reply ..we have parents at the school who are GP's, they are Jacinta's GP's and they may be willing to help.

Tinasmom myself and the teacher agree that if the children undersand what is happening they will behave with empathy.
Jacinta is not so sure, a presentation sounds great I will mention that too.

Robin, I have asked Jacinta and she is unsure why, i will talk to her more over the weekend.

Thankyou all for your sharing advice and experiences ,it has helped me a lot .
Cheryl

[Molly97]

I remember my 7th grade science class. There was a boy in there whose name I forget but whose face I remember like it was yesterday. Anyway, the teacher took me aside the first day and asked me if I minded sitting next to him. When I told me I didn't understand why he'd ask me that, he told me the boy had epilepsy. He said it was possible that he could have a "fit" during class, right next to me. I didn't know anything about seizures, but I had a strong sense of fair play. Everybody avoided this boy like he had the plague; so I said yes, it was ok. He did go on to have seizures in class. I was always the mothering type and tried to make him more comfortable.
I hope your daughter's situation turns out well.

[Bernard]

School should be about education.

[skillefer]

Personally, I remember having a seizure during PE in middle school. I think around the 7th or 8th grade...about the age of 13. Anyway, the kids were kind of freaked out. It happened again, later that year, out on the playground. But they handled it okay. The thing was, after the first one, I told my teacher what happened, and how to help me if it happened again. That, and it was a small school. But I know how embarrassing it is. The thing is, even now, as a teacher, every year I tell all my classes about the fact that I have epilepsy, and what to do if I have a seizure in class. The kids are probably teasing Jazz because they have no clue what she's going through. All they know is that she's acting "different". And educating them, will probably help get rid of a lot of it. But there will always be kids that will avoid her or worse, tease her. Some kids are nice, and some kids aren't.

[Elaine H]

Hi Jazz's mum
Oh bless you, what an awful time for you, kids can be so cruel can't they? I think that if they understand what it is that's happening, and what to do, they are fine with it, my hairdresser's twins know exactly what to do with an epileptic seizure because of me, and she has had a stroke and a seizure, one of their classmates has just been diagnosed with epilepsy, the twins know how to look after their classmate if she has a seizure at school, and the whole class has had it explained to them what is going on, and I think this is so important, I've lost several jobs because of my epilepsy, and I try so hard to be open and honest about it, I think the problems start when people don't know whats going on, or what to do, they are scared of it, and just don't understand, I think it is so important with young children that they are completely aware of what is happening, this will of course help them in adult life too.
I hope you get the support and help that you deserve, the Epilepsy Action crew here in the UK are fantastic and I hope you get as much help as I did. There is too much ignorance and prejudice in this big old world about epilepsy, and we must all do our best to educate people. Good luck to you!

Best Wishes

Elaine x

[jazz'smum]

I have made a decision that to tell them is best but im nervous of the outcome.
As some of you have said some people will accept and others wont, i think it just depends on the disposition of the person, some will fear and avoid.
I know that some could still tease regardless of knowing, im hoping not many or too often.

Agree that now will be a good time for them to learn.

I made friends with a girl i lived near when i was about 13 and the first i new that she had epilepsy was when we went to see a movie, she had a seizure outside the cinema, I remain friends with her until she moved. I think of her and i am pleased i had been a friends with her.
So i am hoping with some understanding the majority of children will treat Jacinta as they always have, which im pretty sure is what she wants.

Will let you know how we go ,
Thankyou for you wishes,
Cheryl.

[speber]

I just wanted to throw in my two cents here if you don't mind.

There are A LOT of good people on this forum who began their journey with epilepsy around Jacinta's age. Many have shared their stories on this site and can relate closely (not exactly of course) to her situation.

Maybe Jacinta would benefit from some of these stories? We also have 'The Loft' which is a forum Bernard created to be a place for teenagers to go!

I was one who started epilepsy early in life (8yrs old) and I struggled a little with how classmates would react. Luckily, my 'class-clown' nature kicked in quickly and I adopted a 'poke fun at myself attitude' rather than let it get me down. Anyone who was going to make fun of me was 'beat to the punch' by my OWN joking around and couldn't do any damage! They ended up looking like the hurtful idiots they were for picking on someone with a problem that was out of their control.

I thought it was genius!

Anyway, I hope things work out!.....we will be here for you guys!

Peace
Speber

[jazz'smum]

Dont mind at all! thanks speber.

I will let Jacinta look at the loft and read some posts.

Good on you for dealing with those heartless fools like you did.

Thanks heaps

[speber]

[RobinN]

I have made a decision that to tell them is best but im nervous of the outcome.
Cheryl.

Cheryl - this actually helped me to understand and wrap my mind around what was happening. The more I heard myself verbalize it, the more I had to search my mind for what I had read, for what I knew, and then I learned. This empowered me. Rebecca, also heard me speak, and was then able to explain better when asked.

Perhaps visualize this.... a tree seed, the more you water it the stronger it gets. The more you tend to it, and support it in the beginning, it will become much more stable. Then it can withstand the winds that pushes it and shoves it from time to time.

I painted and drew a lot of trees the first year of Rebecca's illness. I think I needed the strength they gave me. Then again, I am a visual person, so I am not sure others can relate.

[speber]

[RobinN]

Thank you Sir.
Wasn't too sure how my thoughts would be taken.

[epileric]

Jazz's Mum, I'm excited that you made the decision to tell them but as someone that went through hell in elementary & high schools it scares me too. Maybe ask that the teachers keep an eye on how Jazz's classmates treat/react to her & that they don't get worse because the topic was discussed.

[jazz'smum]

I will thanks epileric
Hopefully he will mention that there will be no tolerence for teasing her,and that they will watch for any teasing after.
It is a christian school and they are quiet strict on bullying.

I was telling Jacintas older sister yesterday what is happening with Jacinta.
I asked how she thought a year 5 class would react on being told and she reminded me that they had a talk in year 4 about a boy with autism. ..also after he had been teased.
She said that the class was very good after the talk but they had also been very stearn about not teasing him.
She's at high school with him now and he unfotunatley is picked on a lot.

Its sad people are so ignorant.

[epileric]

True that high school is the worst but at least at that age we're better at developing defenses like Speber said he did. I even remember using similar tactics. The hardest part was (& still is) when an adult in a position of authority are abusive.

Meanwhile it sounds good for Jacinta regarding what her older sister said about the autistic boy. I honestly believe that quite often it's people like her & this autistic boy that give the other classmates a chance to develop sympathy & caring that many people lack. I'm glad to see that this school seems to take advantage of such learning experiences.

Eric