How to deal with not driving

[ronda]

My daughter is 18 and has simple complex seizures. We are trying to control them with med but so far she seems to do ok for about 6 months and the she has a break thru and we change her meds (again). How do those of you who don't drive handle it? She hates asking others for rides and we live in a small town so public transportaiton isn't great. I'm trying to talk her into going to a college in a large city that has public transportaiton but she doesn't want to go to far from home. Any suggestions?

[Stephanie86]

Hi, I'm 23 and I've been unable to drive since December. I have to rely on my mom and dad to drive my kids and I everywhere. My husband works all week, but my parents are able to take off some during the week. I would think her only options ARE to ask people for a ride or go to a larger city. There probably isn't much else she can do.

Do they affect her conciousness? It seems like I heard once that some doctors will let you drive if your conciousness isn't affected. But I may be wrong. Good luck to her.

[ronda]

Yes, she has conciousness seizures. She had her drivers license for about 3 months when she had a seizure while driving. Thank goodness, she wasn't hurt but she did have an accident.

[RobinN]

My daughter is unable to get her drivers license at this time. But as we continue to have seizure free months, I am hopeful. We live in a large city, and public transportation is horrid. She and I took the Metro to her work and the RT travel took us 5 hrs. That does not include working. Not acceptable.

It is the one aspect of this disorder that I have yet to come to terms with. Getting healthy and seizure free is our goal.

[Melpier]

Has she ever drive on a constant base?By the time I was old enough I always went less then 3 monthes. Where I live they have a thing called "Dial-A-Ride" you tell them where you need to be when and they will pick you up intome for you to be there althought it was a lot of getting ready and waiting (they would pick you up 1/2 hour early to on time") itworked while I needed it.

[RobinN]

We have Dial a Ride, but the rules as I understand it to be, is that you have to have a disability that makes is such that you cannot make it to a public transportation stop. That rules out my daughter.

[Crazy Monkey]

I have had seizures everyday since I was a kid, so driving is a big no no for me, I deal with it because I have no choice, I found it very hard when I turned 17 and all of my friends started learning to drive now I just try to ignore it. I am lucky in that I have an uncle that runs me about and we have good public transportation. But to be honest I don't think I will ever get used to not having total independence.

[epileric]

I"m the same as Crazy Monkey as far as driving goes. I've never driven so it's not like anything was taken away. On the upside I've got really strong legs compared to most guys .

[HELP4U]

My daughter is 18 and has simple complex seizures. We are trying to control them with med but so far she seems to do ok for about 6 months and the she has a break thru and we change her meds (again). How do those of you who don't drive handle it? She hates asking others for rides and we live in a small town so public transportaiton isn't great. I'm trying to talk her into going to a college in a large city that has public transportaiton but she doesn't want to go to far from home. Any suggestions?

1. Think real HARD about whether YOU WANT HER TO DRIVE. You don't want her or someone else injured.
(I decided to quit recently and it felt to me like "they had taken my liberty". Very difficult to deal with.)

2. Check with her doc in regard to his opinion as to her ability to drive (probably "No", unfortunately) and pay strict attention to his opinion.

3. Explain to him that it's important to her - not only socially but emotionally that she be able to drive.

4. Then ask him to prescribe another/additional(?) med.

Given no change, I'm in favor of your idea as to college in a city.

[Allyson]

I think you may be right to encourage her to go to college in a large city with decent public transit. As I just started having seizures, I don't know whether I'll be able to drive anytime soon, but I actually haven't owned a car for the last year anyway, so it's not a huge loss to me. Are there any cities with decent public transit reasonably close to where you live? If you could find somewhere for her to go within a couple hours from home, she wouldn't be too far outside her comfort zone, but could still be able to get around without having to rely to much on other people.

[Rhea]

It's been really difficult at times because we live so far from civilization. My son is now home from the Army as has willingly taken on the role of chauffer. I'll have to go to plan "B" when he gets a job maybe. For now, I'll just adjust...

[weimerluvr]

Good morning...I'm 28 and was able to drive up until 2 years ago when my epilepsy went 'crazy' on me and I started to have issues I never had before. I'm still trying to deal with not being able to drive, but I'm lucky enough to work at the same building with my boyfriend, and friends who understand my condition and are more than willing to help (even if it means going out of their way)

[Rockerbaby1127]

i have challenges with driving because i had a siezure where i just stared off into space and my motor skills locked up all while driving i went sailing through a red light! thank goodness no one was in the intersection at the time. I also had friends who were in the car yelling at me to hit the breaks but when i didnt respond they knew what was happening. When i have siezures like that or when i am hospitalized i lose my license for at least 6 months. The rule is i have to go 6 months siezure free before it can be reinstated. I can only rely on other people during that time but i have to admit there were times that i drove anyways as long as i wasnt feeling like an off day. I just didnt have anyone to take me to school or anything so i was my only option...

[Allyson]

Rockerbaby, I don't want to lecture you or anything, since I know it's not my place, but I guess the lawyer in me is coming out...you've really gotta be careful with that. You probably already know this, but if you injure someone, you can definitely be held financially liable, and potentially even criminally punished. Anyway, sorry for the mini-lecture, but I couldn't help it...I really don't want to see anyone end up in jail or anything.

[darcness]

In all honesty, it's a miracle that my wife didn't get into an accident from her seizures before they were controlled. I mean for a year we didn't even realize she had epilepsy. Thankfully in that time, by luck/fate she didn't have any problems while driving.

Before her second t/c she was ready to drive home, but her mother persuaded her to stay a bit longer. Then the t/c happened. It wasn't until that time that we knew she had E. She hasn't driven since and it's been well over 6 months.

She still has 2 months to go seizure free before she will drive again. I'm most amazed that she doesn't try to fight me about it, as she does with most other things. It's going to be hard on me when she does start driving again, but it will also be a relief. She's looking forward to it because she is pretty depressed about having to rely on others and sitting at home without a job most days.

I have to agree with the others, think about it. REALLY think about it. Talk to your neurologist and discuss it with him/her. Have a discussion with your daughter and see what she is willing to accept.

If she insists on driving, and the neurologist says it's ok (after she's controlled) then maybe compromise a bit and do short trips or something of the nature. Might put your mind a bit at ease.

[ADK]

Driving with E is not a joke.

I wish I could post links.

This sentencing in Maryland took place in April. The consequences can be severe!

A 28-year-old Halethorpe woman was sentenced to 30 weekends in jail Monday in what’s believed to be the first case in Maryland in which a person who suffered epilepsy-related problems while driving was convicted of vehicular manslaughter after a fatal crash.

Baltimore County Circuit Judge Mickey Norman also sentenced Michele Bosley to 10 months of home detention, five years of supervised probation, during which time she may not drive a car, and a 10-year suspended prison sentence.

“If you drive an automobile, young lady, you will be in jail for 10 years faster than you can blink an eye,” Norman said.

On April 23, 2007, Kirk Mercer, of Ellicott City, was driving onto the Beltway from Liberty Road when Bosley, who fell unconscious while traveling home from work, drove her car at 60 miles per hour across the Beltway, crashing into Mercer’s car and killing him.

Both the judge and the prosecutor in the case, Allan Webster, attributed the crash to an epileptic seizure, while the defense attorney, Mark Van Bavel, maintained that epilepsy medication Bosley was taking caused her to black out.

“I’ve learned my lesson,” a tearful Bosley told the judge.

“I’ve voluntarily surrendered my license to the MVA. ... I just took the medicine I was prescribed. I didn’t know the effect it could have on me.

“I’m in pain 24 hours a day, seven days a week because of” the accident.

[NewYorker]

I haven't been able to drive since I was about 20, so I've spent the last two decades in a big city. In the big urban areas you don't even want a car - it's a fortune and a big hassle to even figure out where to park it, let alone the best ways to drive it through all the traffic and people. The pedestrian life is what works for most people in the big city, regardless of ability to drive. That way the lifestyle doesn't have to be such a loud reminder of the seizures. Big city was the right move for me.

[Aubrey]

I don't. Not so graciously, anyway. Well, I am sort of getting more at ease with this level of dependence, but it has taken a while. I confess, I hit a car. For most of my life I had only ever had tonic-clonic seizures. I had gone my seizure-free time, gotten a drivers license (and a motorcycle endorsement). I had driven a couple of years (my 2nd seizure-free span), when I developed complex-partials as well. I was in total denial - I told myself I was sleepy or hungry or what-have-you, but wouldn't admit that I had another seizure type. A person just didn't have tonic-clonics and partials. I haven't driven since, fwiw. I live in the 'burbs - this town might as well not have a bus system, so I can't even go shopping unless my DH is here to drive me. When we finally sold my bike I was hysterical. 2 years later and I am still upset about that. (DH is a motorcycle instructor, it's a huge part of his life.) I am hoping my Dr. will find that magic cocktail or surgery so I will be able to get myself to school/a job and my kids to school and go to the grocery store by myself. That is, provided my Dr. would even sign off. From the time I first had epilepsy until the first time I was E-free, it did not occur to me that driving was an option. I grew up in a city where you didn't need to drive. Since then that has not been the case. I know we all want that level of independence, though.

[April1811]

My daughter is 18 and has simple complex seizures. We are trying to control them with med but so far she seems to do ok for about 6 months and the she has a break thru and we change her meds (again). How do those of you who don't drive handle it? She hates asking others for rides and we live in a small town so public transportaiton isn't great. I'm trying to talk her into going to a college in a large city that has public transportaiton but she doesn't want to go to far from home. Any suggestions?

I haven't been able to drive my entire life and I had to either take the bike or public transportation. I have to admit, after 55 years and getting married my kids and I have been married for 32 years so far to one man, and I have always been able to stay in shape and just be able to get with life because of a bike or public transportation. I have seen people who push down a peddle and drive not stay in shape at all so you have to admit in someways Epilesy has given us the strengh to stay in shape and if she has to go to college I did and got a degree. Sometimes it takes the ability to know more than just how to drive to go to one public transportation or bike. Pam

[acidred3]

I was in college when I had my first seizure, and it really sucked. I was living an hour and a half away from home. At first, I followed the rules and didn't drive, but after a few weeks I just drove anyways. In NH you have to be a year seizure free in order to drive again, but my neurologist didn't "report" my seizure to the state so they didn't physically take my license away. Whenever I have had my seizures, I have been able to feel them coming on, so far. I know I shouldn't, because if I ever do have one while driving I'm pretty much screwed and its extremely dangerous to myself and others.