Memory problems!!!!!!!

[Elaine H]

Hi Guys

Please give me your experiences of your memory troubles? I would appreciate it if you would tell me if friends, family, and society in general understands? I mean, truly understands. Please be brutally honest, no one but us guys is going to read this, and for all of us that have short term memory troubles, hopefully we can help and reassure each other? Hope so!

I have just told my partner that I really did not have a single memory of being at someone's birthday party, I hadn't realised that I had met this person before, and he assured me that I had, I told him "I'm sorry, but I just don't remember" and that I can say, totally and utterly without doubt, HAND ON HEART!!!! When I looked over at him, he had rolled his eyes skyward as if to say... for Chrissakes woman, don't you know anything?! I really though that he understood me, but when it comes down to it, unless you have been in this situation with short term memory trouble, how on earth can we expect people to understand??!! They all smile sweetly and say "there there, it must be awful, we understand" yeah right they do!! But of course they bloody well don't, as you can gather, I am pretty angry about this, and I feel a bit let down, I thought the only two people who understood were, my dear mum, who I lost in Dec 07, and my partner!

I always liken trying to remember something to being in a pitch black room, trying desperately to find the light switch, you know, like when we were kids, and had a nightmare, you'd try by rubbing your hands up the walls looking for that light switch, hoping to switch it on, and then ping, there it all was, just like a memory coming into your mind!

Hope to hear back from you as to your experiences, I just feel a bit let down, I know he wouldn't purposely hurt my feelings, but he kinda made me feel like an old lady in a nursing home, slobbering and talking a load of nonsense, with a brain as much use as a cauliflour!!!

lol

Lainey xx

[Loopy Lou]

I have problems with memory at the moment. I had to ask my mum how to spell "Arm" earlier, because i couldn't remember which way it was supposed to go! So much for being a lover of literature and doing really well at school (ok, most of the time haha... Wait, maybe some of the time )

At work, i forget about paperwork a lot of the time. My boss knows about it, and it makes me feel 10 times as bad about forgetting stuff, if people assume i'm lazy or just didn't want to do it.

I often go into rooms and forget why, or leave something specifically where i "know i can find it" and then forget where that place is!

My family just call me "dopey", but in a sort of affectionate way. Most of my workmates are like that too, but i really hate it if anyone belittles me or calls me stupid because of it. I often forget who people are. I think i'm getting to be a master of holding a conversation without ever mentioning the person's name! It normally comes to me later

[Cint]

Hi Elaine,

I can certainly understand how you feel. I was really let down by my ex as there were many examples after my brain surgery he would say cruel remarks about me not being able to remember. On one occasion, it was several days after seeing a movie and he was commenting on a scene from that movie, and I didn't remember that particular scene. Well, his rude comment was, "that is unbelievable! How could you not remember?" I was heartbroken. I felt like saying to him, "How can you be so rude to me? You saw me after I had my head ripped open, black and blue on one side of my head like being in a bloody war or something?" People have no idea! And on another incident, a friend had given me a ride to my neurologist and we were discussing our depression issues. She was on disability because she had an incident at her work that led to her going through a nervous breakdown and having to take anti depressants. Well she thought she knew how I felt, after my surgery, with my suicidal ideation experience, saying "I know." I felt like saying, "How the hell would you know? Did you ever actually experience suicidal thoughts?" People think they know, when they have never walked in our shoes before. I am now laughing at my ex because he is now seeing shrink, like me. He had a nervous breakdown too, and he finally understands just a bit how the meds can make him just a bit forgetful, but that is only the meds.

Now I can tell him, "Welcome to my world!"

[occb]

My partner has terrible memory problems, but I take it in stride now. If it weren't for this forum, I don't think I'd be so understanding. I've learned a lot from all of you.

[katyt]

I have a test now to help me know if I am just forgetful or if I am having head trouble. I have a game on my computer where you match Majong tiles. When my head is off I cannot match the tiles at all - I can't hold one tile long enough to find the other. I find it very reassuring to test myself and find I can match them! Then I know my forgetfulness was just general senility! Thankfully, my head is working beautifully today - the joy of it!

[epileric]

Katy, is the game you mentioned similar to this?
http://www.gamesforthebrain.com/game/mastercards/

I think one of the hardest things for me is that after a seizure I feel "normal" until I try to remember, say or do something then realize I can't.

I've yet to find a test like Katy so that I know what I can & cannot do. It's great you have that Katy.

[katyt]

Hi Epileric - no that's not the game. It is Mahjong Titans - a 3 dimensional game. I reckon any of the Patience type card games on the computer would do the same trick - or would for me. I found this out by accident the other week when I was watching X Factor with their massive strobe lights. I though I was just bored and tired, so I started playing my game - couldn't match anything! I was out of it for the whole of the next day.
This was my first episode of something during the day - I have been acting up during the night up till then and hoped it was just Sleep Apnoea.
I knew after this episode that I had to accept that my EEG with with the nasty spikes in left anterior temporal lobe wasn't just a mistake!
Thanks for the welcome - I have calmed considerably since I found this site!

[aboizd1]

Hi Elaine,

I feel the same way, my boyfriend "understands" but I don't expect him to actually understand-I come to you guys after! As much as I'd like to think somebody I'm close with can share in what I go through- it's really about having other people in the same boat-

I get lost in conversations, go to get something and forget what i'm getting, now I'm writing reminders to remember and forgetting about the reminders! it follows me to work as well, I know I'll need to speak with the boss as little things are being forgotten here and there-I go to school and don't remember what class I'm attending even though I'm there every day....

[Meetz1064]

Memory problems. I have them, too. I have this habit of walking in rooms, and not knowing why on earth I'm there, or what I'm looking for. I forget names ALL the time. Even of the kids that I work with on a regular basis, which is really, really sad.

I couldn't even remember my either one of my niece's husbands names at Thanksgiving the other day.....And they've been around a while now......

*eyeroll*

[McGill]

I have them too, so you're among august company here! I've learned to just take it in stride, knowing that I can say to someone who chooses to belittle me, "Until you've lived a few years with this condition, you've no right to say anything!"

[KelVarQ]

Yes, I have memory problems and prior to surgery I had both visual (faces and places) as well as verbal (names and things said). My husband use to say, "You never listen to me" until my neurologist told us FINALLY about memory problems being a common complaint for E patients, which I didn't know but I knew my memory was shot. Although 1/2 the times I thought it was everyone else : ) So, it was nice for the neurologist to confirm this with my husband right there so I could say, "You see, I'm not crazy!" Ironically after surgery my verbal memory improved greatly and is better than my husbands now, although I don't have much visual (faces and places) since that was the problematic area. I am one of the lucky ones though when it comes to the whole partner thing.

However, I do know how you feel because my father is big on thinking I'm exaggerating (the whole eye roll) and it literally sends me over the edge and I want to rip his face off. (NO I DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT ; ) but I've learned to deal with this type of "passive aggressive" behavior and to respond eloquently by keeping my cool and using the facts and perhaps even question him since he obviously thinks he's an expert on the topic. I personally use their ignorance against them by simply educating them with facts and this usually makes them feel inferior since they really have no clue. However, there have been times when I don't have the patience and I'll just say, "Oh Wow, Dad do you now have seizures since you obviously must know what you're talking about and it's proven that it can be hereditary and one can get it at any age?" (acting very concerned). This usually bugs him and will shut him up and I'll just laugh at him.

I know this does not take away the hurt feelings, but it does diffuse the moment where no one is really left aggravated and you could move on and discuss the situation (how they hurt your feelings) at a different time and maybe over a nice dinner or at least during a time when you're both in good spirits.

[Nakamova]

I'm having neuropsych testing tomorrow morning, in part to see how my memory is holding up. I'll let you know if I learn anything interesting. Assuming I remember what happens during the test.

[epileric]

I look forward to hearing how it goes

[Meetz1064]

I. Good luck, Nakamova!! Remember to tell us what it's like!

[McGill]

Same here! Please keep us posted on how you did!

[Cerindipiti]

Hi Guys

Please give me your experiences of your memory troubles? I would appreciate it if you would tell me if friends, family, and society in general understands? I mean, truly understands. Please be brutally honest, no one but us guys is going to read this, and for all of us that have short term memory troubles, hopefully we can help and reassure each other? Hope so!

I have just told my partner that I really did not have a single memory of being at someone's birthday party, I hadn't realised that I had met this person before, and he assured me that I had, I told him "I'm sorry, but I just don't remember" and that I can say, totally and utterly without doubt, HAND ON HEART!!!! When I looked over at him, he had rolled his eyes skyward as if to say... for Chrissakes woman, don't you know anything?! I really though that he understood me, but when it comes down to it, unless you have been in this situation with short term memory trouble, how on earth can we expect people to understand??!! They all smile sweetly and say "there there, it must be awful, we understand" yeah right they do!! But of course they bloody well don't, as you can gather, I am pretty angry about this, and I feel a bit let down, I thought the only two people who understood were, my dear mum, who I lost in Dec 07, and my partner!

I always liken trying to remember something to being in a pitch black room, trying desperately to find the light switch, you know, like when we were kids, and had a nightmare, you'd try by rubbing your hands up the walls looking for that light switch, hoping to switch it on, and then ping, there it all was, just like a memory coming into your mind!

Hope to hear back from you as to your experiences, I just feel a bit let down, I know he wouldn't purposely hurt my feelings, but he kinda made me feel like an old lady in a nursing home, slobbering and talking a load of nonsense, with a brain as much use as a cauliflour!!!

lol

Lainey xx

Tears are rolling down my face. I thought i was the only one who experienced this and I was so embarassed by it. I'm 30 and was only diagnosed with them 6 months ago. My neurologist is amazing but I still didn't totally understand what the unconscious part of it was since I didn't pass out. I feel so comforted. One time this lady came up to me and said "Hi! How are you doing?!" And I said "I'm sorry, do I know you?" she said "Yeah I met you three days ago. We were standing by the salad bar. And we talked about about this and that..." I said "I'm so sorry...I don't remember any of that." I was Mortified!!!!!!
Things have gotten really really bad in the last few years. I was out with a friend glad to try the milkshakes there for the 1st time since we'd never been there before. He said 'Dorian, we've been here 3 times." Coping with it is the usual notes, writing board, pen everywhere. I also make friends with everyone everywhere I go regularly so they can remember things about me that I can't remember. I have severe long and short term memory due to epilepsy partial complex of left temporal and several concussions resulting in brain injury. I have about 30 - 70 seizures a day. I usually just stare off into space. If it's a bad one my mood will change afterwards. let me tell you I Never want to do that EEG test again!
Now referring to your inital comment: I prefer when my family and friends pretend like they never notice that I've just told them the same story I told them yesterday. they are pretty awesome at that. I also use my humora little. But this Thanksgiving my sister for the first time was like "Dorian, we just talked about this... you don't remember?..but we just talked about this" "Thanks Savile, it's not a new concept that I have no idea what's going on...welcome to my world." The most important thing for all of us I feel is that we don't accept being disrespected just because our brains act differently. Okay, I really need to go to bed. I am so grateful to have found you all. I am much reassured and comforted already. I hope to be in contact with you all.

[Epiphany]

I go thru all that u guys have spoke of...some of lesser and greater degrees...when I leave the house I always forget things and my husband will say calm down T I think for us both right now...I forget everything anymore things he says about schedules especially or things I told him then retell him 5 mins later and he is like you just said that honey it's gonna be ok...we used to argue over the things but not anymore I realize it's me and I just really don't remember...I used to get so upset when he would tell me we had talked about things and I just knew we never had...I guess with the brain there is just so many ways you can push it...one thing we all seem to share...knowing we still have our sanity lol

[gigi]

I pretend to remember things just so I do not have to say no I can't remember - which would make me sound like a broken record! Although, my family still thinks my memory is like theirs. I just do not think they will ever get it, with the exception of my hubby. He just might be in a state of panic w/o telling me - like how this will go down as I get older! I am w/o a job now. Not able to work in a law office anymore (brain), and no experience in anything else. My memory is an issue here. I am discouraged and BORED, not to mention broke. Jobs are scarce as it is.

[Chris515]

I had a conversation with a co worker at a work function yesterday. I got back to my desk and realized I had no idea what we talked about.

Forgot it completely! We talked for like 5 minutes and it's out of my brain already.

[dfwtexas]

I have a great long term memory but since my diagnosis, my short term memory sucks! I do a lot of notes because I know I will forget. When I asked my neurologist if it was a side effect of my Keppra, he said he believes it is actually a side effect of the having seizures...but he did say that belief varies from doctor to doctor.
My son is always telling me about conversations, etc and I can tell he is struggling to convince me that it really occurred. I just keep reminding him of my short term memory impairment and tell him that if he says it happened...I really do believe him.
It is very frustrating!