Munchausen by Internet: Faking Illness Online

[salright2baredneck]

Reminds me of a girl that used to come into our chat room. She was pregnant for 3 years, had all sorts of miscarriages and other maladies. When questioned in depth about these things her "brother", "sister", and "husband" would all come online at one time or another telling us how hurt she was about us questioning her and that she really was ill. What she didn't realize is that people have a distinctive way of writing, and after you get to know them it's almost like recognizing them by voice.

[Cinnabar]

Sounds complicated: Someone as six different posters? Sounds like they were entertaining themselves (as Boarderline/Muchhausens Personalities do) or had some other serious medical condition. Did this person claim to have DID "Dissociate Identity Disorder?", formally named MPD. Most all DID's "never switch hats". It's to blatent, as I said yesterday. Switching is a subtle thing. As I've recently posted, my feelings about Munchausen by Proxy, is intolerable."Faking" psychological disorders is the most heinus in my book? No matter what the diagnosis, cheating people of their right to feel safe is criminal.

So your take was "right on"! Whatever the diagnosis, you must have good instincts. Good for you! And am glad you're on this site! People with complicated psychological conditions should bring it to the top. And that can only really be done if they have a "grip" on their condition and have the strength to be honest.

[Dutch mom]

I'm have a 9 year-old boy and 5 year-old twins (boy & girl.) When I was pregnant with the twins, I was reading & writing on a twin moms forum and I've met a Munchausen by Proxy triplets-mom there. This woman was writing on the forum for 6-7 months about her pregnancy of three babies, in wich many, many things went wrong and things were very complicated. Just a few days after a tragic message by a mom who lost her premature born twins, she wrote her babies were born too early and within a week she wrote she had lost them one by one. She got a lot of support and attention. One of the members took the initiative to collect money to send flowers to the funeral. But she got no adress. Information from the local papers and the hospital revealled there were no triplets born there at all... We all felt very angry and fooled for all those months and the baddest thing was she stole attention from this other mom who really had lost her twins by making up a worse story.
5 Years ago and I still get angry writing about it.

[darkmarkshark]

No DID, She may have been able to get away with that though rather than trying to claim her alter ego's all knew her in real life.

A big clue to her falsities was that she was claiming to be British yet used American sayings, terminology and was applying to programs specific to the United States.

I admit I've entertained myself with lies online before. Never to take attention away from others. In one case, it was because I wanted to see how big a lie I could get away with before people called me on it. I still don't get why no one thought it was odd I had 14 kids and was rich enough to not need to work - unless of course they knew that but were polite to say anything. There were other things that were even a bit more ridiculous than that too. It became a "how wild can I go" thing. Haven't done anything like that in a good 10 years though

In the other case, it was because I was on a site where I noticed any poster under 18 was immediately harassed by the same select group of members, all of whom claimed it wasn't the posters age that was being attacked, but their views. So I came on with a 16 year old with most all the same views I'd already posted. My 16 year old id was attacked from day 1. meanwhile my regular id was being told about upstanding and of a strong moral fabric I was. I let that go on a few months before letting the attackers know and pointing out that all they were doing was encouraging young people to get another account and come back on as someone older. They weren't too happy with me.

[Cinnabar]

I'm so glad people are coming out with their stories. I wrote a lengthly one myself. Using children as bait? Beyond my comprehension as is the whole matter. We've just got to be careful to weed out the weeds...

[brain]

I admit I've entertained myself with lies online before. Never to take attention away from others. In one case, it was because I wanted to see how big a lie I could get away with before people called me on it. I still don't get why no one thought it was odd I had 14 kids and was rich enough to not need to work - unless of course they knew that but were polite to say anything. There were other things that were even a bit more ridiculous than that too. It became a "how wild can I go" thing. Haven't done anything like that in a good 10 years though

That's the problem with the Internet, you can be whoever
you want to be, as far as I'm concerned - You could be
the REAL Bill Gates and no one would know it!

I've encountered people where men were women and vice versa,
and then I've encountered where people were .. umm...
count me --- clueless ...

However, there are real people out there who DO have 12-17-20
children (own kids / Adopted and/or Foster parents), so it's not
unusual, and then there are wealthy people out there who passes
the time. Typically those who have so many children like those
usually are wealthy or have sustainable amount of income to
afford such even though the State provides assistance and aid.
However there are those who have large families of their own, I
know of one who has 14 of their own, which is my mother's
classmates. (I wouldn't know how they did it or how they've
managed to handle it all, but I do know their kids are all married,
having successful lives - and I almost dated one of them when
I was in Senior High, but backed off from him, because I thought
"he" was a little looney... *laughing* but we were friends, as well
as being friends with a few of his siblings as well.)

Then I personally know some classmates of mine who were like
the 7th child of 9, or 8th child of 10, or the baby of 12. And
when my son was born, the woman across the hall that we knew,
had her 14th baby, also a son, and she had intentions of becoming
pregnant again! So is that unusual? For me - no, but it is out of
my league and out of my range and too much for me to handle!

Then as an marriage adult, having neighbors, my (ex) husband's
co-workers - who were child number something, that were of a
large family! But pretty much everyone I know on the average
typically had 2-3 siblings, but occasionally we would come across
folks who come from large families and they had money / resources,
whether they be natural or half and half (some natural and some
adopted and some foster -OR- some natural and some foster).

This might answer your question why no one doubted you.
Historically speaking, in the olden days, it wasn't unusual for
families to have large families, especially those residing on the
farms. So it was typical to have anywhere from 7 to 14 children.
(While some died due to birth or diseases, and you probably
can find this information out via Genealogical Tracing of your
family heritage / lineage)

We had some family members that had very large families,
but unfortunately wars took the men's lives, and cut our "family
tree" short as well as the deaths (implied above) and then
there were those that married and opt not to have any
children at all which made the family tree on that end to
a "dead end".

So in today's realism, for one to have such large family
like this; you're going to need to be "rich" anyway! For
sufficient enough that it's hard enough for 1 person to
live on 1 person alone!



So people aren't trigger happy on individuals like these,
since so many people are into Genealogy and having
knowledge of this in general, so the chances are they're
not "thinking" of this in generalization in today's perspective,
and this is only my viewpoint and perspective and my
only humble opinion here - but a factual one.

[salright2baredneck]

I would have to say though...if someone came into my chat room claiming to have that many children I would first ask their ages, and then if any of them were young (which most of them would be) I would have to ask the person what the heck they were doing spending so much time online and who was watching the kids? I only had two kids and did not have time to spend on a computer for any length of time when they were younger. Between housework, homework, ball practice and other after school events, dinner, baths, etc. I pretty much stayed very busy. I can only imagine how busy 14 kids would make you. The laundry alone would be a huge daily chore!
I would have to agree with darkmarkshark, someone claiming to have 14 kids, while not impossible, would be a stretch for me.

[darkmarkshark]

I would have to say though...if someone came into my chat room claiming to have that many children I would first ask their ages, and then if any of them were young (which most of them would be) I would have to ask the person what the heck they were doing spending so much time online and who was watching the kids? I only had two kids and did not have time to spend on a computer for any length of time when they were younger. Between housework, homework, ball practice and other after school events, dinner, baths, etc. I pretty much stayed very busy. I can only imagine how busy 14 kids would make you. The laundry alone would be a huge daily chore!
I would have to agree with darkmarkshark, someone claiming to have 14 kids, while not impossible, would be a stretch for me.

I think I had a nanny - can't remember for sure though. All but the three youngest were old enough to play a good portion of the day on their own and the two youngest (twins) were young enough to sleep most of the day. The second youngest was maybe 6. Come to think of it, I don't believe I ever had a name for my wife though the children had names - maybe they figured my wife and nanny did everything while I did nothing. In reality though, I probably couldn't keep up with one kid.

I do not need to research my family tree to see huge numbers of childrens - i only need to look at my great uncles and aunts. Family reuinions have a few hundred people, which I used to think was normal. But the last generation I know have that grew up with numerous siblings are all around 80-90 years old and the reason for so many siblings was that they were on a farm and hey, kids are free labor.

I personally don't mind someone saying they are of another gender online. Many people who aren't comfortable showing transgenderedness in RL help relieve some of their stress by being transgendered online. As long as they are willing to explain when questioned about why they are a male complaining of cramps or a female complaining about spontaneous erections, I don't see it as being a problem, or even dishonest if they are transgendered. I do know someone who claims to be a girl online just because he can get people to converse with and he can't get that when he says a guy, but I never asked just what those conversations are about. It seems to me they wouldn't be much about regular chatting

[Cinnabar]

No DID, She may have been able to get away with that though rather than trying to claim her alter ego's all knew her in real life.

A big clue to her falsities was that she was claiming to be British yet used American sayings, terminology and was applying to programs specific to the United States.

I admit I've entertained myself with lies online before. Never to take attention away from others. In one case, it was because I wanted to see how big a lie I could get away with before people called me on it. I still don't get why no one thought it was odd I had 14 kids and was rich enough to not need to work - unless of course they knew that but were polite to say anything. There were other things that were even a bit more ridiculous than that too. It became a "how wild can I go" thing. Haven't done anything like that in a good 10 years though

In the other case, it was because I was on a site where I noticed any poster under 18 was immediately harassed by the same select group of members, all of whom claimed it wasn't the posters age that was being attacked, but their views. So I came on with a 16 year old with most all the same views I'd already posted. My 16 year old id was attacked from day 1. meanwhile my regular id was being told about upstanding and of a strong moral fabric I was. I let that go on a few months before letting the attackers know and pointing out that all they were doing was encouraging young people to get another account and come back on as someone older. They weren't too happy with me.

It is certainly brave of you to share that the "game" is over after ten years. I welcome your honesty and trust you've let that "wild thing go". You should give yourself an anniversary and if your rich hang chandeliers from the trees!

[darkmarkshark]

Well I would, but what if my kids show up at the party? I don't want to have deal with all of them at once :P

And yes I've let it go. I'm telling the truth when I say I have no children, and when I say have epilepsy (though I'd much prefer the latter was a lie)

[Cinnabar]

Sometimes Epilepsy can lie to you...it goes away for a while. You forget. Then it's there, reminding you it's "way to honest".

[stilldancing_98]

This was really interesting, I have learned a lot. If there is anybody I offended in this forum. Please forgive me. I have been advocating for years. It's in my nature. That is all I thought I was doing.

[darkmarkshark]

I'm confused.

What did you do here, stilldancing?

[stilldancing_98]

No big deal , just learning about different things, dissabilities and it is a big thanks to everybody here.

[drarvindr]

I love the name "munchausen by internet" i prefer "cyberhypochondria". Faking an online disease isn't munchausen it's called lying. I've yet to see a munchausen pt. ( probably cause i'm not a psychiatrist) so i'm not qualified to make judgement calls. but on a personal level i feel that people wth munchausen's can have a really bad " boy who cried wolf" experience. Once a doctor opens his/her chart and sees " munchausen " there he's not going to take him/her seriously , even when they are actually sick.

[stilldancing_98]

I think it is really sad. You do what you can to help somebody.I can't judge whether somebody else has it or not. I could question it. But that is all. It's an illness that needs to be taken care of.

[Kansas Educator]

Before my daughter went to med school, she worked for a pediatric neurologist for a year. One lady repeatedly brought her children in saying that they had seizures, adhd, etc., etc., etc. One day my daughter said to the neurologist, "Do you really think those kids are sick? I wonder if the Mom doesn't have Munchausons by Proxy." The neurologist answered, "Of course she does. But, somebody has to keep an eye on those kids and, if we don't do it, who will?"

Don't know that that really has anything to do with the internet application but I did think it was a good reminder that sometimes there are bigger things at play.

[brain]

Before my daughter went to med school, she worked for a pediatric neurologist for a year. One lady repeatedly brought her children in saying that they had seizures, adhd, etc., etc., etc. One day my daughter said to the neurologist, "Do you really think those kids are sick? I wonder if the Mom doesn't have Munchausons by Proxy." The neurologist answered, "Of course she does. But, somebody has to keep an eye on those kids and, if we don't do it, who will?"

QUOTED FOR TRUTH!

(Sorry Birdy, borrowed your line!)

[ziggidypoo]

I was on some place about of all things cats and was just plain interested in people and made many posts in reply and was called a "troll" - I did not do anything that I knew that was wrong but I left that place it was weird anyway.

Here, I just want to learn more.

I've been to many hospitals but believe me all of it is documented and actual with mri's and eegs -

The reason I am posting now, is, wait a minute, lost the thought, oh what do you do when you have an EEG and they say (with any test) it was in normal range - WHAT is normal??? My neurologist finally diagnosed me with EPILEPSY and have PROOF - I never felt so good to finally find the ROOT of my weird "episodes".

I will REFUSE to go to the ER because I fear the incompetence of the EMT's from past experiences AND with a single seizure - it's here, it's gone, no big deal.

That's why on my cell phone now, I put Carey on a speeddial so IF during post-ictal I can push the buttons and at least get a moan out or nothing, he knows by caller ID that it is me.

I feel sorry for anyone with any disorder or disease that is peculiar or considered "faking" because they need some sort of help.

I've been post-ictal and called "faking".

I used to write as I was in pre, during, and post, and the EMT's as I said somewhere else on the forum would say I was PLANNING the event.

NO - I was recording the episode (this was prior to diagnosis) in a private journal book, because I knew I would not remember.

I'm not down on ALL EMT's - some are great and well-informed.

My neurologist. is weird - she stares at you and takes in every inflection, word pattern, everything - then, pops out with a diagnosis - she's a neurodiagnostician.

Sorry for rambling. Rambled all my life. I have read somewhere it has something to do with the TL???

Anyway, my heart goes out to the children who are convinced by their parents that they are sick when they aren't but the parent is.

It had to be a hard thing to shut people out of the forum.

Please, me being new, I am learning - so if I ever break a "rule" let me know.

I just want to learn and to hopefully better comprehend what is going on in my "brain" .

Anyway, I reckon that's all.

Bernard, you and the other moderators are awesome - you make me feel "safe" on here. Thanks. It is so good to go somewhere you just might "fit in" with temporal lobe epilepsy that even the drs seem to not have a good grip on.

Much love to Stacy, Bernard. Bless her.

Cya,
GL