Needs ideas on how to make my house safer for my wife.

[Papiwi]

I got a chance on buy a house i had allway lived rented and we had acomodate to the circustanses. now we are buying a house and i want to make it safer and make it so that she will be more independent and confident in the house Im a firefighter in the US Air force my job make me be 24+ hours out of my home at a time. Just whant to know what you guys have done or what have work for you guys in your houses?. Also the other day the local fire dept had to come to my house while i was at work and they had to breake the door to get in, does anybody now a way to leave a key out but secure for the fd??? BTW my wife sufers of grand mal seizure

thanks for any ideas...

[Nakamova]

Hi Papiwi, welcome to CWE!

First off, I hope your wife can get control of her seizures -- that would make everything easier and less nerveracking, right? Here is a link from the CWE archives with suggestions for making your house safer: Safety for people with seizures

I also suggest that you get to know the new neighbors! Depending on how well you get on with them, they can become a great resource -- they can check in on your wife, or she can call them for help, they can drive her to the ER if necessary, and/or keep a spare key for the fire department. And you might as well talk to the local fire department to see if they have any suggestions about the house key.

Best,
Nakamova

[Endless]

Hi, Papiwi,

Welcome to the forum!

In our community it is easy to leave a key accessible to emergency services, including fire and police. There is a standard keypad code to open lock boxes with keys, or the keycode inside to get into a gated community or gated home. The homeowner just buys a keypad box, puts the key inside, programs it to the emergency services code, and mounts it in an obvious place. Maybe your community has the same?

There are some simple things to make the house safer. Carpeted stairs, padding sharp corners on furniture, get rid of glass tables, have her not use knives or cook on a hot stove unless someone is right there, make sure the water heater is turned down to below 120 degrees, have at least one shower that is not also a bathtub (to prevent drowning if she falls on the drain).

I see a business need - a pendant like senior citizens have (help - I've fallen and can't get up), but it calls 911 if the person goes horizonal and DOESN'T press the button first.

[Brent]

As others have said, talk to your local FD. They'll give you the best answer. I was a firefighter/EMT before I started having seizures. Usually a lockbox is possible.

The precautions you take depend on you and your wife's personalities, the frequency and warning of the seizures, and other health problems (or lack thereof). I have fairly frequent generalized tonic-clonic seizures (what some people still call "grand mal"), and sometimes localized atonic seizures, and daily partial seizures. I live alone for most of the week (wife commutes between two cities) in a fifth-floor apartment and/or in hotel rooms when I'm traveling. Also, I sail (with a partner).

My apartment is pretty much like anyone else's apartment. I cook, shower, sit out on the balcony, or whatever I want to do. If I go status epilepticus while no one else is here, or fall in the shower and cover the drain, I could die. I know about these risks, and just accept them because I also know I could get hit crossing the street, or in any number of other inane activities.

I have had some injuries from falls at the wrong place and time, but my attitude is that epilepsy controls several aspects of my life, and I don't want it to affect the food I cook or the furniture I buy - if that makes sense. I just know the risks and accept them in exchange for a life less preoccupied with my seizures, which do a good enough job reminding me that they're there without me putting reminders throughout my apartment.

Now, that's just me. But I am otherwise somewhat of a risk taker - I would say a calculated risk taker. Also, I have a seizure alert dog which makes me MUCH more willing to do things that I might normally be hesitant to do. I would be lying if I said that I didn't check in with my dog every time I step into the shower, and I've put off showering when she wasn't acting quite right. Also, she'll let me know if I need to avoid stairs, sit down, not get up, etc. So, it's pretty easy for me to go on business-as-usual. If I didn't have that, if I am to be honest, I would be much more cautious.

I can say this, the risk of seizure is ALWAYS on my mind. I am always aware of what I am likely to fall on or drop should a seizure start. Having that constantly hanging over my head gets pretty old pretty fast. I am lucky that my wife pretty much lets me be. She doesn't nag me when I'm going to do something risky. She knows that I know the risks, and she lets me live my life.

I'm certainly not suggesting you are being overprotective, but you definitely should check in with how she's feeling about this, if you don't already. Everyone has limits to how much they want to let this slip into their lives. She is undoubtedly becoming quite aware of how these seizures will place limits on daily activities. Just make sure that your not making her feel worse about this by trying to protect her from herself. I would find out what she's concerned about, and mitigate those concerns and nothing else.

I worked in an office where, after a seizure in which I hit my head and got a little gash, they installed child corner guards all over the place. I found this humiliating - the idea that I, as an adult, was not capable of assessing and accepting the risk of hitting my head on a desk. I had them removed. In retrospect, I know that the decision to install the guards was out of concern for me, but that was not the message I received at the time.Just make sure you don't send that same message to your wife.