Partials starting again, 9 days since hysterectomy

[stringbean]

Here I go again, 9 days since hysterectomy, I still feel like crap, now the partials starting to hit me, I am pretty sure I have a bladder infection due to surgery, can't get in to see doc until Tuesday, tommorrow the date of my only son Logan's day he was bornstill, he would be turning 11 years old tommorow.

I just can't seem to stop the tears from falling today, I have had to bother my dad to many times this past week to take my hubby to the store and bank and take us to sign tax papers (only place I've gone since home from surgery) My oldest daughter is out of state and my sis had to go to her daughters cheerleading competion so my dad was the only one I had to ask to take my hubby to the store and to pick up our Income Tax return check.

I've had 3 partials today, I just feel so worthless at times, I can't work anymore, my hubby has take a leave of absence for this month due to my hysterectomy and the fear of possible more seizures and it being risky for me to get our daughter to the bus if the weather is bad, it can be like walking up and down an ice skating rink up here where we live and one of last things I need is to take a fall after surgery. And because of this we are badly financly strapped, which I know we are not the only ones I just feel alot of the times that it is my fault, since I cannot work anymore and my SSD check is no where near the income I was bringing in when I could work. I am very grateful that I got my SSD, we would be even more financally strapped without it, it does pay our rent. Thank the Lord that our tax check did come today that will take alot of the finanical stress off of my shoulders.

I can just feel sometimes like I am nothing but a hypocondryac (simple partial) I am constantly having to go to one of my 4 different docs, my counselor, picking up my own little pharmacy of meds from the main pharmacy.

Now today all I can seem to do is whine and cry I just feel so depressed, I am falling deeper and deeper in my depress mode, but I am fighting it the best I can to keep it from bringing me down so low that I will end up in bed only wanting to sleep to escape reality. It is just so much easier than having to stay awake and face life.

Thanks to All for reading, It helps me alot to have family and friends that listen and care so much.

Tammy

[speber]

Inspiration thread

I hope things get better quickly for you StringBean!

[Birdbomb]

Tammy I think part of your depression is some residual effects from the surgery. The added stressors don't help. Just try to keep in mind, nothing lasts forever, not even the bad stuff. Things will turn around for you.

[brain]

((((((( Tammy )))))))

Hang in there! Sorry you're having
to undergo all of this - Lots of Hugs!

[Bernard]

I'm sure you will do much better once you are fully healed from the surgery (and no longer under the weather). That's a lot of stress you're dealing with right now. Hang in there!

[angel]

StringBean,

Things will get better.... remember to rest and drink lots of water if you feel like your getting a uti. that on top of stress & surgery will cause some depression being sick all the time is no fun.... ((((((((HUGS)))))) Hang in there!

love'
angel

[Stacy]

Tammy,

I have a sugguestion... Say to yourself several times during the day... in fact as often as you think of it... "Don't sweat the small stuff... it's ALL small stuff!" Realize that you are just depressed and this too shall pass. Read up on YOGA and MEDITATION (it's helped me quite a lot) and try hard to alleviate the stressors in your life... even the crazy ones. just from a book, I have learned to ignore both boys squealing, fighting, etc. and be able to keep calm if they need me.

For the first time in a long time the other day, I got everything done as planned and on time! It's amazing how breathing deeply and smiling, saying to yourself, "It's going to be a great day!" connects you with the universe. I find what i want in a store immediately, everyone smiles at me, I'm always able to recall what I want (which rarely happens), and people go out of their way to be nice. It's incredible! Try it. There is a catch... you must believe it.

[stringbean]

Thank You All for your best wishes, inspiration, and the suggestions on different things to do to help. I greatly appreciate all.

I am trying my best to take one day at a time, and to realize that these bad days will pass and my physical and emotional health will get better very soon I pray.

Yesterday was a very bad day for me, becaue of a number of things mainly the Birthday of my angel son Logan. I had several things to do on my different sites and this computer just refused to let me do anything. I just keep keeping in mind that even if these are a day or more late they will still be there. I did just end up in bed asleep for most of the rest of the day At such times it just seems to be my only escape from all the problems and hurt.

My husband is a wonderful man, he really has taken the wedding vows exactly as stated, In sickness and health, for better or worse and for richer or poorer.
However yesterday, I just don't know for sure what was bothering him, he did just seem to be like OK I took the month off to help you out, but phycially doing better and so know I am done doing the dishes up, sweeping and mopping and other, I almost fell twice yesterday because of our dogs pee pee missing her pads and I didn't realize the wet spots on the floor until I stepped right in one, yuck, and then I went off on him, and he went off on me. I did just clean up the mess on my hands and knees and I am just going to do the best I can now to do the housework and such myself. I had finally got out of bed and was feeling a little better emotionally and then this and so back to bed I went.


Again thanks to all for such inspirational replies.
Tammy

[Birdbomb]

Hmmmmm.....

puppy + piddles + computer problems =

[Georgiagirl88]

Hi Tammy,

I am new to this site and recently after yrs. of spells..told they think they are seizures and being treated as such. I wanted to tell you I just a a Hysterecomy in April 07 (I'm 41, and you'll be so glad you did!!! It is Great!!)and I had spells following mine also. At the time nobody could tell me what was going on. Also, it really felt like a bladder infection. My sister had hers 4 wks. ago and felt the same way. By all means check with your Dr. but it may be just the swelling and healing. All of your hormones get screwy after surgery and you are not alone with the crying and feeling down. Plus I was sad to read about your son that you lost. I am sure it all plays a role. Try to rest and take it easy and don't push too hard. I know that is easier said than done! But try! : ))

Know you aren't alone! I am having a bad spell lately as well! I cried yesterday. Ha!

I keep having nocturnal seizures and feel like I am not breathing and fading away. It is awful. Then I get the Post Ictal feeling for the next day or so. The lat few days have been really hard. Enough about me. I sure hope you fell better! I'll say a prayer you do! Oh...there is a great site for hysterctomy support and questions/answers..really helpful!!

it is called HYSTERSISTERS hope this helps!

Michelle : ))

[stringbean]

Birdbomb, that puppy peeing on a computer sure did bring a smile on my face and a laugh out of me. Thank you. since we go out tax return, yesterday we got a brand new computer and it is working great, my hubby has cleaned up after our dog since.

Michelle, Thank you for your response, the thoughts for my angel baby boy.

I do deep down inside know that it will take some time to fully recover from my hysterectomy, It can just be really tough at times to handle all the post surgery happenings, I do have a bad Urinary Track Infection, found this out yesterday and now on antiboitic so that should feel better soon. I have done better emotionally yesterday and so far today. Unfortunely it seems to take me longer to recover from such than alot of others. That's my luck for ya.

I know that there are many others out there going through the same, not just me, and I always tell myself that when I am having such rough times. I'm trying my best to rest and just take it easy. I did go out yesterday to doc, bank and walmart and that did me in for the day. To much to soon, however I did enjoy getting out of this apt for awhile first time since surgery other than just going to our taxprepares office to sign papers and then right back home.

I am so sorry to hear about you recent seizures, I sure know how hard that can be on you. I have different seizures but I sure know that post feeling.

Thank you for telling about the site HysterSisters, I had found it like within 2 days after coming home from surgery and it sure has been a major blessing to have so many others to share this experience with and that can give advice and more. Just like this site. If it wasn't for these sites. I would be lost.

Thanks Again All,
Tammy

[Birdbomb]

[brain]

[stringbean]

Well, as of Saturday evening I just seem to be falling down that hill again.

I had a partial, I was fighting a headache all day, then nausea, then yesterday woke up with headache and nausea, and tears and just wasn't able to function well at all layed on couch all day, and did sleep more than I can usually do these days.

Feel better pyscially today, but not emotionally, tears again just out of the blue 15 minutes after I got out of bed.

HUD inspection coming up real soon and this APT is a total terrible unorganized mess and I mean mess.

Then again this moring another partial and it was bad, I got the feeling with it that I usually get when I am going to end up in Grand-mal, thank The Lord it didn't go that far. Now just here on internet doing my whining for the day.

Thanks for reading.
Tammy

[RobinN]

www.flylady.com

[Birdbomb]

RobiN I have been checking out that site and it is WONDERFUL! When we get overwhelmed, depressed, overwrought, this site takes you back on tack with an easy to follow plan.

I am going to post this in other forums, especially a few depression sites. Thank you!!!!

[brain]

Ummm Birdy, don't tell me
you've never heard of flylady.com?




In fact, for those who didn't know
and have an yahoo account, you
can subscribe (if they still have it,
which I think by now is branched
out by divisions - ie: NW, Eastern
Seaboard, Southern, SW, Mid-West,
etc) -in FlyLady Groups.

I was in it for several years - and
was in the digest format - a chatty
bunch of folks (and YES - there are
men in there too - those who have
working wives; and they're the 'house-
men' - LOL!)...

Been so long ago but I'm sure the
FlyLadies Groups are still there; you
can learn a lot from them too!

AND THANKS ROBIN FOR THE MEMORIES!

[Birdbomb]

Nope, never knew about them but one of the sites I posted the link to has had a great acceptance of this link.

It looked really goofy at the beginning, but the more I read, the more I realized these skills were something I learned a long time ago but have since been lost. It' will now be one of my daily haunts.