Postictal..

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AndrewIrish

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..hmm...

I've been fine this morning, so no alarm in the subject title but just had a thought bubble pop in my head.

When you guys are postictal, how do you act? And do you have memories of it? I do... and they're very strange.

To remember not remembering your own name, your dob, your mother's name, the president, the year - very strange things to remember NOT remembering, lol. I always seem to immediately know whose around me though but that's it - I won't know who I am but I've known immediately as I'm told(it's hazy) that I know my family whose around me.

I knew my mom, my brother, my wife... but like nothing else... and I did something strange with my brother once... I was apparently very ashamed and had to pee very bad but wouldn't let him help me but I was so wrecked, I couldn't stand. (I usually can't stanmd for a few hours after my TC's, walking takes the better part of a day...), and so almost immediately after my TC, while post-ictal, I apparently did a hercules act, was able to stand, forced myself into a restroom and actually ably used the facilities... before collapsing and smacking my head on the ground this one time.

But yea, don't know why I mentioned that one, but gist is... anyone else known that sensation of, 'remembering... NOT remembering...' it's really something I can't explain to people who haven't had a TC or brain issue...

And on a related side note, something I been noticing with my typos on here now... wierd. I'm an author, I write novels consistently, have a superb vocabulary and type incredibly fast... but lately, when typing(and talking), I'm using wrong words or words of context to meaning or even spelling words incorrectly(which is sacrilege to me, lol.)
 
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I had one gran mal (my seizures are usually simple partial), and the only thing I remember about post-ictal is waking up, rolling over in bed (It happened in the middle of the night), and then remembering a simple partial generalizing and was like, "wait a minute, I think I just had a major seizure." and then I realized my tongue hurt and I was like, "Oh, *&$#" And I went to wake up my parents. So I don't know if I was awake at all before that and had just then become aware, but it was only about a half hour since I had the seizure and I was very alert. Just very sore.
 
I know the "remembering not remembering" thing. It's a very odd sensation. I've been alone for many of my seizures (so no-one asking me questions as I come out of it), but even those can feel strange when I start to put the pieces together. I had one where afterward I freaked out because my laptop computer had disappeared from my home. I though it was stolen, until a friend reminded me that I had taken it to be repaired the day before.
 
I can't imagine post ictal from grand mals but even with my partials when I'm recovering I slowly put the pieces together. Ok. I'm at work. I'm on the floor. Which floor? Bathroom. OK. It doesn't freak me out anymore and I just give myself time to focus, stop being dizzy, and say my name to myself and the names of my kids just to comfort myself. I think confusion is normal and some memory loss. It only takes me 1/2 hr to recover though but yeah, forget walking or standing or talking.
Typos and finding the right words are part of the package too.
But it must feel so strange for you when words usually easily flow and are a part of how you identify yourself. You're still you though.
 
Yea to me thats normal my family and doctors will ask those questions I majority of the time have no clue.it takes me about an hr to get answers out and movements on my own 1to 3days depending on severity of seizure.
 
I have been stunned every since I started having seizures. Took me a few weeks to remember anything when I had my first few seizures...it's kinda scary. Now I just let is happen as if I was having a migraine aura or something. Before a seizure my legs get so weak and I get other sensations so i know when it is going to happen. I can type fast too but I type the wrong words or leave words out now and I can't talk intelligently anymore...can't find the words. I have been on the phone at work and have had to hang up because I didn't have a clue what the person was requesting from me. Till I snap out of it, thinking oh my here we go again. Dazed and confused (what time is it). Then I have to call back and say, sorry we got cut off but what was it that you wanted??? What is your name...Can you repeat that, again and again and again. But before the meds, I would be weeks with no memory although I knew some family members were related to me somehow. Coworkers, friends...couldn't recall. I would think what's her name starting with A, B, C.... but last names forget it. I have to proof everything I type now and notice my mistakes all the time...wondering how I left out words in a letter or wrote a different word than what I was thinking. At work I have to write simple names, instructions down and some people say why are you writing that down...that's easy to remember. I always had a awesome memory but now...omg it's terrible but I manage the best I can and that's all I can do...
 
I have been stunned every since I started having seizures. Took me a few weeks to remember anything when I had my first few seizures...it's kinda scary. Now I just let is happen as if I was having a migraine aura or something. Before a seizure my legs get so weak and I get other sensations so i know when it is going to happen. I can type fast too but I type the wrong words or leave words out now and I can't talk intelligently anymore...can't find the words. I have been on the phone at work and have had to hang up because I didn't have a clue what the person was requesting from me. Till I snap out of it, thinking oh my here we go again. Dazed and confused (what time is it). Then I have to call back and say, sorry we got cut off but what was it that you wanted??? What is your name...Can you repeat that, again and again and again. But before the meds, I would be weeks with no memory although I knew some family members were related to me somehow. Coworkers, friends...couldn't recall. I would think what's her name starting with A, B, C.... but last names forget it. I have to proof everything I type now and notice my mistakes all the time...wondering how I left out words in a letter or wrote a different word than what I was thinking. At work I have to write simple names, instructions down and some people say why are you writing that down...that's easy to remember. I always had a awesome memory but now...omg it's terrible but I manage the best I can and that's all I can do...

I feel for you, more then you know because until last month, my career profession is as a Customer Service Representative. I worked for Citibank Credit Cards for last couple of years and other banks prior - once, I had so much trouble coming up with words, understanding a client... I literally breathed into my headset, went '...sssh....shh...im losing you...', the ultimate no no in customer service industry but when I'm havin a brain meltdown and losing my mind for a minute, I don't have time for common courtesy... lol...

And may I ask a question? I used to be able to type flawlessly with no real effort. Now I interchange words, misunderstand words and... it seems to be happening more frequently. Anyone whose out there afflicted with 'word salad/garbage/freezing/' with some tine unde their belt have anything to add... does it get worse with time because I think for me it is getting progressively worse.... not to any panic-inducing rate but... there's a steady decline I've seen over writings done over last 5 years, conversations with friends and otherwise...
 
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Math and Spelling...suck too! I used to win awards for math and love english but I look up words to confirm the spelling and use a calculator to calculate everything when working with stats, payroll or spelling medical terms as I work in health care.
 
I have a lot of trouble with words sometimes- not with typing and misspelling or skipping words, but when I'm talking I sometimes have a really hard time trying to think off the word I want. Sometimes I have to explain it. Like, "you know, the thing you walk under when it rains.. Umbrella!" or sometimes I still can't think of the right word or it will come to me like an hour later. it's so frustrating sometimes because it can be a really simple word but sometimes it's not but it still makes me sound dumb sometimes if I can't get a sentence out the right way. I think it might be more medication related though because it just started a couple of years ago, and it hasn't gotten any worse.
 
yea, the verbal and vocal aspect of it... it's faceted... I'm fairly confident it's related to my myoclonus, but I often 'skip.' I start to say a word then... stutter, the word jumps out of my mind and then if I try to get it back to use it, 'buzz' another jerk.... if I try to press the issue sometimes it sends me into clusters or gives me headaches, much like if I try to do certain motions... that's what I hate most about some of the 'little' things about E - I'll be looking at a cord, in reach, wrapped under another cord, or a mass of cords and I'll be doing something and a friend or family will just be like, 'unwrap that' and I'm like... 'I can't', they just think im lazy but no, in that moment, I CANT. I can't unwrap things or untanglew things... if I go to do that, the jerks start up and I can power through but powering through a bunch of myoclonic jerks is not somethingf I like to do and things like games, handwriting, anything physical action that has any complexity to it, I normally can't do so alot of the time people mistake me for being lazy or 'just using an excuse' which my brother says sometimes... but, I'm not, ya know? I can't, in that moment UNTANGLE a mass of cords or reach around and up and under or fix that... I can't, man, I can't do it. I feel somedays like saying, 'Okay, you go tie these shoelaces together and lace this shoe, but while you're doing it, I'm gonna run a bunch of electrical volts through your body every couple seconds until you're finished' - that's kinda what it's like for me and people just do NOT understand how something small and brief, when clustered together, can be such an ENORMOUS pain in the pass.

ON EDIT: My god, my typing skills and ability to put words together i just utter crap anymore. 'Pain in the pass'... I think everyone knew what I meant, lol.. and ya know what? As much as I 'jerk' anymore, I wish I could change my username to 'JerkyIrish'... arggh... I can't go 2 minutes in a day anymore, man... only time i dont jerk is when im zombieing out, just doing nothing. Soon as my ol' brain gives my body a command to move it's like, 'nah, forget that...' kinda like an old car that can't make a turn without it screeching loudly and scraping. Yea, I usually get it done, sometimes I break down on the side of the road but it sure ain't no smooth ride anymore...

This new doctor better be my Maaco man, lmao... im on an analogy kick today...
 
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After I have a seizure I sleep for hours and hours normally. But if I don't then I end up acting like I'm 4 years old or high, or both. I vaugely rememeber acting like a 4 year old on crack though.
I also have the same problem as Krista with words. I will go on describing objects like "its fluffy and it starts with a b!!! and I love 'em ALOT" (Bunny!!) or it's "like water that falls from the uh.. umm... trees?" (rain).
 
I used to get the typical post-ictal as a kid when I had t/cs but these days I mostly only have simple/complex partials. After the t/c's my mum could ask me any question under the sun and I would always be 110% sure she was asking me "When is your brother's birthday?" I'd repeat over and over "Mum, I'm fine. It's the 9th of June". Apparently I'd say this even though I'd have no recollection of even having a brother!
 
I've only had two gran mals. The first I woke from a medically induced coma, so I was kinda with it. My dad was there telling me I had been in a coma for six years and had 3 kids with a guy from mexico, my reply was shut up dad (I was only 17 at the time)
The second I went into status, when I came out of it I was in an ambulance, crying, telling everyone around me I was really sorry. I don't remember the rest of the day after that. My simple partials just make me tired, I'll just sleep.
 
This sounds exactly like me. I can't remember having the "seizure". I can't talk proper at all anymore. But, I'm not dx'ed yet, so I'm on no meds. for E yet. I have noticed that some of the meds that I do take a lot of you all take for something to do with epilepsy. Like Lyrica I take if for Fibromyalgia. I took klonopin for sleeping but, it didn't work. I take Ativan for my nerves. I am getting very nervous right now. I keeping having to ask what that med is? or How do you spell that? Oh My GP gave me headache med that,he said had a little med in it for seizures. The name of it is Phrenilin.
The first time I had to stay a few days in the hosp. they kept asking me questions and I would say. I don't know. I was like that for about 3 days. I finally got tired of( when is your dob) that I told them to just pick a day. I could not tell them how old my daughter was I would tell them she WILL BE 20 her birth day. They would just say. How old does that make her now? Again I said I D K!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I know these two feeling very well. I hope every one gets a good night sleep,as it is 4:45am here and I'm just going to bed. But I will sleep, see I take enough to put a horse to sleep LOL I won't get up till tomorrow afternoon Don't worry it is all prescribed meds, by one doc.
 
I have to say that the feeling of remembering 'NOT remembering' is, for me, one of the strangest, most interesting, things about the t/c seizures. It has been well over a year and a half since I have had one now, but that is my biggest memory about the whole thing. All of mine but one have started when I was asleep, so there is really no recollection of how they began, but slowly coming to, not knowing who I am, or where I am, or who my wife is, that is what I remember. I always think of it as my brain slowly rebooting. I have done it a few times in an ambulance, and a few at home. Normally I can't walk well either, like some of you. One strange thing that happened, the time I was awake I was at work and had about a 15 second aura before the seizure. I came to not knowing anything (as usual) but managed to unlock my phone (I have a droid that you enter the pattern into), so they could call my wife. I couldn't do anything else, didn't even know who my wife WAS, but I unlocked my phone. LOL.

Anyway, I also seem to have a problem with words and math. I don't know if it is the seizures, the meds, or just the fact that I have been out of school for so long and haven't used those skills since then... I would like to blame the meds..
 
I think it's something with brains rebooting, yea. When we first come out of it, we're kind of in a 'primal' or 'fight or flight' state of mind, I think. We can see but can't comprehend what we're seeing, we know things but don't grasp them...it's our base, animal instincts, I think to a degree. And recovering from a TC is sort of like a gradual progression through evolution, a quick escalator ride as parts of our brains 'wake up' I think.
 
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