rough night..

[Georgiagirl88]

O.k...second try.. I just typed a long paragraph and it vanished. At any rate..
I had a really bad night last night. I thought the nocturnal seizures were beginning to improve, but last night was awful. I am going to try to be positive today. Today will be my day of rest..I get terrible post ictal feelings of severe fatigue where I can barely lift my arms, achy, migraines and jittery. Last night was one of the bad ones..I felt like I couldn't breathe and was about to croak. I had a meltdown crying..feeling sorry for myself. I was thinking about missing my Mom.I felt like nobody understands(other than you all) Just a melt down! I have a wonderful family, but I think it is hard for someone to really understand when you haven't experienced it. As much as you try. It is so hard sometimes. When I get them it makes me feel very sad for a day or so and I hate this. I know there are much worse things in the world.. I am feeling sorry for myself today I guess. And I know all of these feelings are normal with seizures. Just a bad night/day! Thanks for listening to my pity-party guys! I just hope and pray I start to feel better and in more control soon. As we all do!!! I hope everyone is feeling well today! We all have our tough times..but I guess it is a wonderful reminder of life's ups and downs, right? I guess I am due to start back up the hill! : ) Thanks again!
Michelle

[skillefer]

((((hug)))))

We're here for you. We all have our rough days. We understand. Just remember everything that's good in your life. And remember to smile.

[Georgiagirl88]

Skilly,
Thank you so much. I'm trying! It is one of those days! I am sure it'll get better. How are you feeling? I hope good! Hopefully we will both be feeling much better soon!!
: )
Michelle

[RobinN]

Stress List



1. Serious Illness in a family member (excluding death)

2. Serious concern about a family member (excluding illness)

3. Death of a family member

4. Divorce or separation

5. Forced to move house

6. Forced to change job

7. Been made redundant

8. Feelings of insecurity at work

9. Serious financial trouble

10. Been legally prosecuted



Treat yourself kindly for a few days. Hope you feel better soon.

[skillefer]

Actually Michelle, other than the hearing, I'm feeling pretty good. I found my mom's email addy and e-mailed her yesterday, walked around barefoot in the backyard last night, and stopped to look at all the flowers in the garden. Watered the lawn (trying to get some burnt sod to recover...it is slowly but surely. ), read, watched House (thank heavens for closed captioning), helped my 16 year old with a paper, colored a picture with the 6 year old, and had 2 cups of decaf. Then it was off to dreamland......It's funny, not being able to hear well is exhausting...

[Georgiagirl88]

Thank you Robin,
I am having a nice quiet day so far..I always feel the bad post ictal side effects. Last night was just one of those really bad ones and I am sure missing Mom didn't help. I am really happy she lived a beautiful, long, happy life and is no longer suffering so , but it doesn't make missing her go away. I remember you talking about the death of your Dad. Every now and again I just want to pick up the phone and then I can't,you know? We were very blessed to have her almost 81 yrs. though. My seizures really have no rhyme or reason. Other than if I get too little sleep.They do come in little spurts though..a few days in a row or a week. How is Rebecca feeling? Good I hope! How did her skating event go? We haven't skated in a while!

Talk soon!
Michelle

[Georgiagirl88]

Skilly,
I love doing that also. I love cool summer nights when the air smells sweet and fresh. Our fireflies haven't appeared yet. My garden is coming along. I wish I had put it in a little sooner though. I am actually going to try fall vegetables this yr. also I never have..but I would love to try butternut or acorn squash. I need to look it up. Maybe I will ask Buckeye if he has. He seems to be a master at pumpkins.Glad you are feeling good! Do you think your hearing is still improving? Hope so!! The neurologist told me mine wasn't too great. I am always saying.."What?" My one sister is completely deaf in 1 ear and it's poor in the other. She manages really well though. We all had a fun laugh because she can't carry a tune at all. Well..at Christmas 3 of us sisters were together and she loves singing carols and would screw up all the words and sound awful..she just laughs! She would mix one carol with another. She is very good spirited about it. We always know she has to sit on a certain side at lunch so she can hear better. It is all how you accept and handle things, isn't it? Half full! Even after my pity party rant ...I am trying to be positive today and know it will get better. Enjoy your garden!!
Michelle : )

[skillefer]

Thanks Michelle!

Actually, my mom-in-law and I are going to put in a small vegetable garden this weekend. Last weekend we cleaned up the small waterfall in the backyard. It had collected alot of dead leaves. Oh! And we put up a birdfeeder! At the rate they're eating, we're going to have some pretty plumb birds around our place soon! Hopefully, I can get my hubby to get a hummingbird feeder. I've seen one out in the garden, but there aren't that many trumpet shaped flowers for it to feed from. Also, I saw a pair of doves out in the backyard the other night. Really pretty. What can I say....my backyard is my fortress of solitude....well, at least until 6 year olds want to color or read to me...and 16 year olds come asking for help on papers....

[Georgiagirl88]

O.K. we have the same trouble with our feeders.I can't keep them full. We have gorgeous cardinals and tons of birds coming..but it is the squirrels eating us out of Birdhouse and home. They are crazy! We have some hummingbirds also. They love the color red apparently. I also need to get a feeder. So far they keep coming to my purple and white petunias. It is a fun hobby. And so peaceful to watch.

Michelle

[skillefer]

Yup...totally agree. Just sitting back and watching hummingbirds just hover....it's truly amazing.

[haird18]

Hi Michelle,
I know how you feel I' ve been dealing with the same thing. You know we seem to through so many trials , and then people seem to say it'll be all right things, it will get better. That just agravates me when people do that don't think? Sometimes I hear people say you'll get pass this and they say you look great but instead your in so much pain and worn outI want you to keep me informed when you can , catch you later Your Friend,
David Hair

[tinasmom]

Michelle -
So sorry to hear that you had a bad night. Here's a big HUG! I know what you mean about missing your mom. I lost my mom 13 years ago and I still miss her very much. Sometimes I just wish she was here to see her first great-grandchild. When my girls turned 5, they would spend a week up north in the summer with grandma and grandpa. This was always so much fun for them and they looked forward to it. Unfortunately, my youngest only got to do this twice because my mom died 3 days after her 7th birthday.

Hope the weather will continue to stay nice so you can get out and enjoy it. Have a great rest of the week. I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

[Georgiagirl88]

Thank you Laura,

I appreciate it. I feel a little better tonight. Hopefully I will have a peaceful sleep without seizures tonight. I miss my Mom alot, but I know she is in such a beautiful place and had a wonderful life. I am just thankful she isn't suffering anymore. The last months were very hard for her. I have such happy memories also. I love to think about things she would say or little things she did. My Dad is doing remarkably well. He will be coming up for Father's Day. He lives with my sister and brother-law. But we also have 3 sisters where I live and he is coming up here for a few weeks to visit. It will be good for a change of pace for him. Thanks again for the sweet note and prayers. I appreciate it and hope all is well for ya'll as well!!

Michelle : )

[brain]

So sorry to hear of all of this! Hadn't been online,
but hope things go better with Pepsi, I mean without
those "E's"!

[Georgiagirl88]

Thank you Sharon,
I appreciate it. I just feel like I am in a bad phase right now. I've had several strong nocturnal seizures(which are my main ones) and I just feel really lousy. Very dizzy,weak and tired and weird.Other than that..I am good! I am not sure if it is the lamictal or what. I am actually having some heart tests in a few weeks. A stress test and Ct..just to check everything out. I have chronic pain which does not help. I have alot of serious autoimmune in my immediate family and they suspect my bloodwork will eventually show something. How have you been feeling? I hope good! Glad all eventually worked out with your AC. That really was no fun I am sure! Our heat in Hotlanta has finally hit. Not up to the 100's yet..but it is getting pretty warm. Our dog days are late July and August usually. What else is new with you? Hope all is well down your way! Talk soon. Thanks again!

Michelle

[BuckeyeFan]

{{{Michelle}}}

E Sucks! Postictal symptoms can be as bad as the seizure itself.


Go ahead and plant a squash or two. It shouldn't be too late in the year. You might just need to give them a little more TLC during the heat while they get established. We are supposed to hit 90 today. We were in the 30's. Slow start for my plants.

Continue to keep your Mom in your heart. After 8 years, I still 'ask' Dad for advice and continue to 'borrow' his tools even though they are at my house permanently now. I think about him a lot when in the pumpkin patch because I just know how much he would have loved this hobby.

Best wishes this week!

[Bernard]

{{{ Michelle }}}

Hope you are feeling better today.

[haird18]

Hi Michelle,
It seems both our lives have been turned upside down! I've had arough week because of getting use to to changes in life!If some of you didn't already know this , I guess you can tell I am a very emotional man! And the last six have been the hardest ever more stress, more pain ,and more complications from my brain deformities what a way to go through a month. My doctors are trying so hard just to keep me healthy and I've been told by dr's since I was a young child that I woudn't live to be 35yrs. old . I was told this by neurologist when I was a child and by current my Epiletogist because of severe brain abnormalities! I am just barely staying alive in some ways meds. or no meds., testis or no tests. I mean I've tried it all and I'm only 34yrs. old. I know that you feel the same as I do ,like a test guinnea pig!

Later on,
David Hair

[Georgiagirl88]

Thanks Buck and Bernard! I appreciate the kind thoughts!! Today was a little better. I am just going through a rough patch and hopefully it'll get better soon. I know it could be much worse, and I am thankful it isn't. I am hoping I will get stabilized on Lamictal and just start feeling better. Buck..I talk to Mom all the time too. I know she is still with me! My Dad is doing really well.. I am sure he has his moments..but overall he is much better than we expected. P.S. I will try the squash..but I doubt it'll be as big as your pumpkins!! : ))

Michelle

[Georgiagirl88]

Hi David,
You are a very brave person!! You sure have dealt with alot and still are, but you keep getting back up!! I am sorry you have had so many health problems in your life..I can only imagine how hard it must be..but don't you give up..I can tell you are a very strong person. You aren't alone..we are all here for you! I will continue to pray for you..and that you have hope and faith and know that we are never alone!! Keep the faith! I will be thinking about you and hope you feel much better real soon! I actually felt a little better today..so I hope you do as well! Thank you for taking the time to think of me and write me a note!! You are a very caring, special person..that is a real gift!!