Saying 'no' - your thoughts

[CleptaK]

Yesterday I had my first psych appointment with Noel, the psychologist who I see almost every day for neurofeedback.

The main thing we discussed was my feeling of failure. I feel for my age that I've not really accomplished anything in terms of education or career. Even though this is due to epilepsy and the surrounding depression and anxiety, I have found it a really tough thing to accept.

Noel's response was to re-frame that feeling and look at the life experience I've gained. While I might not have a degree, or a career, I've had a chance to hone in on patience and resillence!

The thing that stuck in my mind the most was Noel saying "You've had to say "No" to a lot of things, and had to put limits in place for yourself".

So, I'm just curious CWE-ers - do you feel like your epilepsy has meant you've said "No" to more things in life? How has that affected your world view?

Having said "No" to lots of things over the past five years, it's made me appreciate the opportunities to say "Yes" so much more! I feel much more at peace because of that.

Anyway, hope to hear from you. Have a nice day, CleptaK

[Nakamova]

There are definitely some things I've had to say "no" to, but epilepsy has also helped me say "yes" to a lot of things. I wouldn't have chosen epilepsy, but it's made me aware of all sorts of communities of support (including CWE), made me more empathetic (I hope), and opened my eyes to the incredible strengths of people who are "limited". I agree with what you say about patience and resilience CleptaK -- those seem part of the E package. But I've also learned the value of being impatient (especially with doctors), and I've learned that it's okay to be less than resilient every now and then too.

I should also say that I am also probably one of the lucky ones, since I've only had E for ten years, and my seizures seem to respond well to medication.

[Cint]

Hi CleptaK,

When I first started having seizures nearly 30 years ago, I had a career in the airlines with the intent to fly and see the world. I was devastated when the seizures increased and I could no longer work, drive. But I do have two grown children now who have seen some ugly seizures and saw me after brain surgery, so it has made them very aware of what can happen to people in life. They're very in tune with people with seizures. They don't like seizure/epilepsy jokes. My daughter happened to witness someone having a seizure where she used to work, and she is the one who didn't panic. My life with epilepsy has made me much more resilient now and when an opportunity for me does come along, I take it with much gratitude now because I know I will not always have the opportunity to say "yes".