Stress as a trigger

[cjole]

Well, after this last 3 or 4 weeks, I think I can eliminate stress as a trigger for me.

I have told you about my job worries, that's been constant for about the last 2 months.

One of my very dear friends has lost her battle with the big "C". She was a very good friend for about the last 20+ years, but she is my best friends sister. So, while trying to deal with my own grief, I have also been trying to console my buddy. It's been pretty tough. We attended the funeral yesterday, so things should become easier. Slowly, I know, but easier.

My parents moved in with me about probably 12 years ago, my mom passed away in 2001, but I now have my 89 year old dad living with me, who at times, I think is out to drive me insane. He's a wonderful man, and I love him dearly (stepdad, but he's been my daddy for so long, there is no "step" in my description of him). Believe me, there are days when I am ready to pull my hair out.

It's also my TOM, so that of course brings out the best in me. And believe me, I am known to be VERY moody when that comes along.

Anyway, if that's not enough stress to put me over the edge seizure-wise, then I just don't think that stress is a trigger for me.

CJ

[Nakamova]

Well, it's a truism that I don't always agree with, but "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." It sounds like you have a lot of strength to offer, and maybe that helps you get through the stressful times.

Sometimes it's the "downstream" side effects of stress -- poor sleep and eating habits, disruption of routines, adrenaline surges, etc. -- that can be the seizure triggers. If you can avoid those, then that can make a big difference too.

Best,
Nakamova

[Belinda5000]

stress can be a major trigger for me.
My family stresses me out bad.
My seizures increasing for no good reason.
My epilepsy has made me a stronger person and I refuse to sit at home because might have a seizure, I wear my helmet now.

Belinda

[BIGMAN131307]

When we loose someone chose in the family & friend circle it can be very stressful. I've also had that stress brought on. A couple years ago I lost my uncle to "C", as well as my high school friends mother. Both brought on the stress, I managed to deal with it calmly. You need to think about how the loved one isn't suffering anymore. Then go on from there.

In general family can be really stressful, if you let it. When my family & friends start to cause me stress, I try to defuse the situation. Ex. If someone comes over complaining about their day non-stop, I will ask them a question to throw off their ramblings so they stop yapping. It usually works, if you can ask them another question quick enough. Once I defused the situation they usually calm down. *Note* this doesn't always work, but it's worth a try. Occasionally it might add to their ramblings.

[cjole]

Oh, believe me, I know that my friends suffering is over. I am very happy for that, it's just the personal loss that is hard to deal with. Knowing that you will never see them again, hear them again, hold them again. It takes time to adjust to that. I went through the same with my mom, I know things for them are over, the pain and suffering. I guess I cry not just for them, but for myself, and my family and friends who will no longer know the joy of having them in our lives.

As for dealing with my dad... sometimes the frustration is just about overbearing. He will call to see what time I am coming home. He will call to see if I have to work. He will call if his TV isn't working, he will call cuz it's time for his eyedrop, and I am not there yet. Sometimes I feel like a 12 year old. I have to always make sure he knows where I am and when I'll be home, and if I leave town, I have to make sure someone is around to check on him and do his eyedrop. At times it very overwhelming. I have a brother right here in town, but even getting him to check things for me while I am out of town....what a joke! He "forgets". And, even when he doesn't, my dad will call ME 200 miles away, before he will call my brother. I left town for the funeral the other day, was only gone over night, he was trying to call me 3 times, before the funeral was even over!! (didn't have my phone with me) When I called him back to see what was up, he was out of milk of mag. Now what am I going to do about that 200 miles away?, and at that point I really didn't care about that. I told him when I got home, we'd take care of it, but all he'd have had to do was call my brother, and he would have/could have taken care of it for him.

My dad has a couple of other step-daughters from his first marriage, but they are of no use either. One lives about an hour away, her "donation" for helping out is to come about once every couple of months to take him out for dinner, and spend a couple of hours. WOW!! If she really wanted to help, she could come and clip his toenails and fingernails, get him a haircut, take him shopping, help him shave. No, they leave all that for me, cuz I "take such good care of him". She'll show up for an eye-doctor appointment, to complain about his watery eyes. Big deal, he's 89, the doc just tells him to use a tissue. She's more worried that his dentures keep slipping, and he won't wear them...if it's that important to her, make an appointment, and take him in to get them fixed.

Sorry, guess this turned into a rant, didn't mean too. But, as I have said, it's been a VERY stressful time for me. Thanks for letting me blow off some steam.

CJ