When dating did you/do you tell that person you have epilepsy before hand?

[stilldancing_98]

I had one guy dump me because he hated epilepsy. He went to Harvard. I was so crazy about him. But he just told me they made him vomit. Well piss on him. That was about 3 years ago. He was so cute and so smart. But very ignorant in some ways.

[valeriedl]

When I started dating my husband I told him right off the bat. I didn't want to end up having a sez when we were out and him not understand why I was "speeking in toungs" and drooling on myself.

I pretty much told him everything right up front- that I couldn't have kids, I couldn't drive, I couldn't work, I was living at home with my parents and so on so that we would know that the relationship wasn't going to work because of these things.

[stilldancing_98]

Ya, when you don't drive and ya have a sone with epilepsy I don't want to say anything but you have to tell the truth. I have had so many public sez. that it just would not be fair to him if I didn't tell him up front. But I will give him 5 min or so to notice my beauty. lol

[ColmanMac]

Oh - so she fights dirty, aye?!!
(With friends like you, do I need enemies? - or should that be enemas?!!)

Cx

[twc]

There definitely isn't any wrong or right answer here just a matter of preference I suppose. You had me at vomit and peed, but got my attention cause I can recall a time that I wet the bed with my wife and was so embarrassed still not sure if was related to my seizure disorder. If I had to date again which I don't suppose I will for a very very long time if ever again. (Married now for 10 years.) I would be upfront with my date. It would only make or break the date and better to get it out of the way in the beginning than to waste the time thinking they are understanding.

[ColmanMac]

It's a sign of true love when youv'e peed on her & her next question is : "Does this mean ser'e engaged"?!

[stilldancing_98]

I tell them because if the weather is rainy in Washington like it is.I don't drive we go out. My son has it. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. So the answer is yes. I tell them up front nicely. And usually They have a story to tell me.About there sister or a friend.I feel pretty comfortable about telling a date.

[CleptaK]

That's tough, Endless I think you dodged a bullet there though!

I told my now fiance straight up in a casual way and he didn't say too much. I was worried he was scared off, but when we met the next day he said he researched epilepsy and was looking up what to do if I had one.

Two years on and we're all good. I did find a good one, but I think being upfront helps.

[bobbybetterman]

I've sort of started to see a fella now, but i told him about my epilepsy straight off.

Doesn't seem to bother him, but then things are still very new.

this might not help you any, but I'm a man in the same boat as your bf, and let me just say, i dont think there is anything you can say to get him to realize what it means to have EP. I thought I knew until my gf had her first seizure (grand mal) in front of me...Ive never been so scared in my entire life...BUT if you really matter it WON'T keep him from you in my opinion.

[bobbybetterman]

I knew my gf had Ep long before we ever started dating, she's not the type to date casually, and she'd never date/go out on a date with anyone she doesn't personally know...IMO upfront and honest is how it should start, at least that way you don't have to worry ab "what ifs"

[Screamy]

Was 16 when I hooked my husband so I waited until he was completely in love then broke it to him. 13 yrs later still dealing with it!

[stilldancing_98]

I dated some great guys. They were honest with me to. One I dated from Harvard I fell in love with him but he could not stand medical issues. But he was honest, I was honest.And he was hot. Honesty was the best thing about him.

[acpollard2010]

i dated a few girls they didn't handle the upfront thing so i started to keep it in my back pocket til i met my wife both drunk just slipped out and she said she was fine with it things change trust me.unless u can truely handle some bad stuff from me violent seizures forget people things like that.

[RachelinAZ]

Neither. I had my first KNOWN seizure when my now husband I went on our first date LOL!!!
Had I known, I would have told him.

[Cherriuz]

Rofl rach well you got a good one there. At least he didn't run away. I would be upfront I think purely because it's not all that we'll controlled yet. But I had a relationship for 3 years before all this happened so don't really have that concern. But you are all going to get my opinion anyway!!!!!

[car05161967]

I never had much luck dating because of my epilepsy.

Me either, but for a different reason. I did get married(1992-2000). But a year after the physical separation(1997), my (ex)wife told me that, she had always wished my disabilities "would just go away". Even though she knew about them five years before we got married. I had a tonic clonic seizure in 1995. But my (ex)wife just stared at me, like she was reading a Harlequin romance novel.

[car05161967]

IMO from a mans perspective, establishing a relationship before dating will make for a lot of lonely years. Sorry, women are very reluctant to dating someone who may fall out and convulse when in public. Growing up was tough and girl friends were short lived.
The best advice to give a young man with epilepsy. Go to church and hang with very religious teens and young adults. It takes a woman with a lot of faith to live her life with you.

This is excellent advice!! My (ex)wife n' her parents broke that mold. They were very religious. But when it came to physical health problems, they were disgustingly ignorant.

[car05161967]

if he's going to be that much of a dick he's not the kind of guy you want to be with anyway. hey don't feel bad, my last boyfriend dumped me because my brother projectile vomited on him

Your brother 'figuratively'(and literally) gave your (ex)boyfriend, what he deserved....lol

[car05161967]

I had one guy dump me because he hated epilepsy. He went to Harvard. I was so crazy about him. But he just told me they made him vomit. Well piss on him. That was about 3 years ago. He was so cute and so smart. But very ignorant in some ways.

Your E, made him vomit...Not the greatest make the jerk sick. But if you could have faked a series of seizures, just to get revenge on him, he would probably have been 'sick as a dog'....lol

[car05161967]

I have an 'online' friend in Canada that I have known for ten years. She has been dating her boyfriend a little over a year. When she was first diagnosed with Epilepsy in July of this year, her boyfriend broke up with her because of it. That lasted all of a week. Now, There are other problems.