My mom is dead

[BEYONDTHEMISTS]

I don't even know where to start. I got a phone message Tuesday morning 4/28/09 telling me to call my brother. He told me our mom was dead at age 58. It was so unexpected and sudden. She was found dead on the couch by her boyfriend of 29 yrs. The medical examiner believes she may have died of complications from a Grand Mal seizure that ultimately led to her having a stroke from lack of oxygen to her brain, he thinks she choked to death. I am so lost. I knew my mom had had epilepsy her whole life. She hadn't had a seizure for 2 yrs though, now she's gone. My brother found her new prescription still in the pharmacy bag unopened. She apparently hadn't taken it like she was supposed to. We are grieving so much. She didn't plan for anything. We don't know what we're going to do. None of us have any money to lay her to rest, so now her body is sitting at the ME's office. All she has is her 4 children and her boyfriend, no friends, no family besides us and one brother. None of us are financially stable individuals. I just don't think she planned to die so early in life. For those of you with epilepsy I am begging you to make sure that your family knows your last wishes, pre-plan/pre-pay if you can just in case something happens, I wish she had, I wish we had thought of it, epilepsy can kill, I never knew that. Those of you caring for people with epilepsy, or know someone with it, please make sure they take their medication. Know the signs, symptoms, etc. Mom, I miss you, wherever you are now, you're no longer suffering, and for that, I am grateful.

Alicia

[dfwtexas]

I left you a post on your other posting. You might check into low cost cremetion services..I know we have one in Dallas that cost around $200. I have gone over my wishes to be cremeated and my will with my son. My mother thinks I am being overdramatic because I have sat down with my adult son and explained my wishes, the will, the insurance...how the estate is to be handled.

[BEYONDTHEMISTS]

Thanks so much. We are looking into that option. I am glad that you are going over things with your son. I wish my mom had been forward-thinking that way. I wish we had enquired into things with her. We never really talked about her illness. Guess we should've.

[Cint]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I do have epilepsy and do know of the risks, so I let my grown children know where my will is, insurance matters, etc., and what my wishes are should this happen to me.

[flinnigan]

Dear Alicia,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It will be hard but you will get through this. I lost my dad to epilepsy 22 years ago at the age of 50. He was never diagnosed - refused to go to a Dr. - I guess it was the stigma. His dad was 63 when he died of Epilepsy. I have proof of that on his death certificate, but my grandmother always denied it - again the stigma. I always new I had it but only just got diagnosed a year ago.

There's nothing you could have done. Its up to us to be compliant with our medication and take care of ourselves. There's many of us on this site trying to get the public to be aware of the dangers of Epilepsy and to get diagnosed. Spend some time here there are many here who can help you get. Even if its just by listening.

[rackelsmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers...

[BEYONDTHEMISTS]

thank you to everyone for the heartfelt condolences. I am absorbing all I can on this terrible illness. I hope to make people more informed as a result of my mom's death.

[BuckeyeFan]

Our hearts are with you today and the days to come. This is the awful dread that so many of our families live with each day.

[Kansas Educator]

Blessings and comfort on you and your family during this time. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom.

[brain]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your
loved one! Much condolences to you
and your family!

[Birdbomb]

Losing a parent to sudden death is so very hard. I lost both parents very unexpectedly to other causes and several friends due to epilepsy. Not every who has epilepsy is aware that it can kill. And then, sometimes people just want to live a life as normal as possible and put their worries and concerns about epilepsy on the back burner.

You may want to contact Catholic Charities for funeral assistance or even ask the ME if there are any other agencies he can recommend. Many places are very understanding and will work with you.

My deepest sympathies in the loss of your mother. You are not alone. Many of us here at CWE have lost loved ones and can understand you pain.

[Dee07]

I am so sorry for your loss. Epilepsy (Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy) takes too many lives. Having lost a daughter to Epilepsy it comes to suddenly that none of us has time to prepare.

My heart goes out to your family. May God bless you all and I will keep you in my prayers.

Dee

[tinasmom]

I am so very, very sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel. I lost my 24 year old daughter 2 years ago to a seizure with no warning. I am sure everything will work out for her burial as it did with us. The funeral home we went to was wonderful and helped us to keep the costs down to what we could afford. They even worked with us on payments as did the cemetary.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[Bernard]

Sorry for your loss Alicia. Condolences.

[joan]

Im so sorry for your loss. I hope in time you find comfort in your memories*
joan*

[Rhea]

I'm sorry Alicia. It's very hard, especially when it's unexpected. You have made me start thinking about my own state of affairs. I will talk with my husband tonight, neither one of us has a plan in place for our unexpected death. Maybe denial??? No good reason for NOT doing it. Thank you for turning a tragedy into a blessing for some others families. Again, I'm sorry.

[skillefer]

Alicia, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers.