need answers

[dontknowy]

new to the site but I would like to say a few words about my son was taken away from us from a seizure I am angry because my son was diagnosed with ep in july of 06 and my dearest son passed away on my birthday 5/22/07 not even a year with ep and it took his life he was only 23 years old and very healthy so we can't figure out what happened and why were still searching for answers but I know I will never get them he left behind a new baby boy which he was 3mo old and a new bride and 3bro 3 sis its very hard cause we are not supposed to burry our children there supposed to burry us I'm still questioning why my son so I want to get more envolved cause no one seems to want to talk about Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy

[Bernard]

My condolences on the loss of your son, dky.

[brain]

((((((( hugs ))))))))))

So sorry to hear the loss of your child
DK. You have my deepest sympathies.

[RobinN]

What a terrible loss.
It is hard enough to talk about a child with seizures, let alone a child that died from them. I pray that I never have to bury a child. My sister did though, so I know a little bit about what you are dealing with. Her son did not die from a medical illness, but it was sudden and very difficult. She now finds peace from working in an abused womens and childrens shelter around very loving people.

There is someone else on the forum that also lost a child. It must be very painful.
Can you tell us a little bit about him? I am sure he isn't out of your mind ever. How lucky that you have a part of him in your grandson. My nephew had just asked a girl to marry him the week before.

Take care of yourself.

[TeeTees]

What a terrible loss - life really does stink at times.

My condolences to yourself and all who are left.

Be strong.....and when you can't, get on here and let it out - we're all here as shoulders for you to cry on, and love to be shared.

There is a saying that "if we knew what was on 'the other side', maybe we would mourn birth and celebrate death." Just a little something to think about.

[jkj1995]

I am pretty new to this forum myself but I just wanted to send you my deepest heartfelt condolences. I am so so sorry for the loss of your son. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[speber]

That's gotta be incredibly difficult to bear. I can't imagine.

I wish you and yours peace and godspeed to the point at which you can be square with it enough to continue.

Peace.

[Birdbomb]

Welcome dontknowy

I am glad you came back! Talking about your son's death will help in the healing. Epilepsy took my best friend when I was 19 and just 2 weeks ago took another. It just doesn't seem fair when they are so young and full of life!

My condolances on the loss of your son, I can only imagine your great pain.

[kris1230]

I'm so sorry about the loss of you're son. My condolances to you and the rest of you're family. It's not fair that someone so young and so great had to go. Let you're feelings out, talk about it.

[spinnymommy]

I am so very sorry to hear of the death of your son. I know it is very painful. I hope being able to talk about it here will help you cope with some of the emotions. This is a very caring, loving group.

We just lost someone dear here on this list to epilepsy. I hate epilepsy. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

[PurpleAngel]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your son. My sympathies to you and everyone else that he left behind. Talking about it will help ease the pain that you feel. I will keep you and the family in my thoughts and prayers.

[dontknowy]

hi everyone thanks for everones support but I just don't know how to cope with tom. I'm having such a hard time I don't know what to do I want to be around family but yet I don't I just want to be alone and I can't stop crying they say it gets easier as time goes by but that's not true at all it just gets harder & harder I'm just so angry

[dontknowy]

I just don't understand why my beautiful son had to be taken from me I can't figure it out why he was only diag. in july of 06 and was taken from me on my birthday may 22 07 why a lot of people have seizure for years & but y my son he was so healthy I'm just angry & I don't want to offend anyone by what I'm saying its just I don't know not even a year with it and he's gone

[RobinN]

You have every right to be angry dontknowy. I know the pain I felt when my nephew was taken away in a senseless accident, and that didn't even come close to what my sister goes through. The holidays are the hardest, but you know that Josh wouldn't want you to be alone during this time. You need to go through this period of anguish. It is a part of healing. Plus you are experiencing one of the top stress producing events anyone could have. I bet you have a few more on the list too.
My sister has been able to pull herself out of bed each day by donating her time to a good cause. You might consider something similar that would make Josh proud, and would help you stay close to him.
I don't know why any young person has to be taken before their time. Especially when they are healthy and have so much to look forward to. It just is...

Perhaps there was more going on that the doctors didn't know about, and that is why it went so quick. I know it must hurt that you did not have a chance to say good bye. Accidents are like that too. Just remember he is around you if you listen. He can hear you so talk to him.

Take care of yourself.

[tinasmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel losing a child to Epilepsy. My daughter lived with seizures for 18 years. It was so hard to watch her go through these seizures and having her doctor switching medications constantly. Her seizures were uncontrolled since she was a teenager and they got worse as she became an adult. I think that the hardest thing to do is bury your child. I just keep reminding myself that this is God's plan and even though I hurt everyday and don't understand, someday I will. Just remember that their suffering is gone. May God bless you and your family.

[brain]

I just don't understand why my beautiful son had to be taken from me I can't figure it out why he was only diag. in july of 06 and was taken from me on my birthday may 22 07 why a lot of people have sz for years & but y my son he was so healthy I'm just angry & I don't want to offend anyone by what I'm saying its just I don't know not even a year with it and he's gone

DK - it's not just Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy, it could have been anything.
Cardiac Arrest, Drunk Driver, Gun Shot Victim, Freak
Accident, Mother Nature (ie: Tornado Victim), and
so on. And people become angry when their loved
one suddenly is taken away, never getting a
chance to say "Good Bye". And knowing things
were going so well, especially when they have
a family. It's all just so tragic, especially when
it's something that's so sudden and quick and
totally unexpected and no answers and everyone
wants answers to all of our WHY's!

It's sad, tragic, heartbreaking, and mournful. The
toll and stress upon the family and loved ones
has to be so great that it cannot be expressed
in words.

But this one thing we can see is - we know you
loved your son very much and he was your pride
and joy and he bore you a grandchild. And that
grandchild is very special, because it is part of
your own son, don't ever forget that.

Yes, it hurts, there is a time to grieve for a loss
of a loved one like this. But I would like to suggest
maybe talking to your own regular Primary Doctor
about how much your son's death bothers you
to the fact you're angry about it and that it was
Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy, and what He/She advises and follow through
with it, and they will assist you.

[S-J Walsh]

I'm sooooo sorry for your loss. What might help you get through this is looking up at the stars and seeing your son gazing down at you saying "it's okay, Dad" Sorry, I see things differently than most ppl. My dtr has epilpsy as well and I worry constantly about her. I feel that your son is happy where he is (I can see things, weird but I can). I hope this helps you through your grief. s-j

[dontknowy]

hi everyone im back its just been so hard for me and im having such a hard time dealing with my sons death i dont know what to do anymore i know i have to keep going for my children but its just so hard to do im constantly thinking of him and its like im not here im in a daze all the time and i dont care about anything anymore, im trying to work on that but not having any success with it can anyone suggest anything? its especially hard around the time that he passed i just start getting and feeling so weird 3 days before the actual date and i cant stop crying for 3 to 5 days then i stop, i actually got sick cause of that i started getting dizzy and feeling faint, but thank god that im ok i had to go to the doctors and find out the problem and had several test done and im fine it is all the stress and what im feeling and going through so im trying not to cry for so long but i cant i just hope i dont get sick again for my kids sake. thanks to everyone again

[RobinN]

So sorry you have to go through this. I don't know any other suggestions other than the ones already shared.
I am sure it is a matter of taking one day at a time. I wish you a good day tomorrow.

[Bernard]

Maybe some professional grief counseling would help?