Argh!

[Loopy Lou]

The nurse who works with my neurologist rang today and said that after talking to him he's suggested that my meds immediately go up as i'm having an awful lot of absences and he's about 90% sure that i'm having nighttime seizures (Bitten cheeks, extra bruises, waking after 16 hours and feeling like i've been in a blender and *ahem* other stuff that goes with it).

So now i get to take extra lamotrigene :/ My short term memory is getting worse and worse and the other day i wouldn't let my mum's boss into the house i work at because i couldn't remember his face. I knew i SHOULD know it, but i couldn't let him walk into the house because of the protection of vulnerable adults thing. I've known him for a good few years now.

I dunno - i just feel really fed up. I'm not like myself at all. I feel myself getting angry about the silliest things, and today i forgot to give one of the people i work with their epilepsy medication until about 2 hours after she should have had it.

I'm feeling very superfluous at work lately. There are some good things still in my life, and there are a lot of people who have it much worse than me, but at the moment i'm always seeing the negative, and that's not really like me either.

Just here to rant really, and probably not making much sense.

[Meetz1064]

perfect sense Lou, and you keep right on ranting if you need to. We'll listen. That's what we're here for, and what the Padded Room is for, too.

I'm sorry you're feeling so blue, and having such problems, darling. I wish there was something I could do.....

[Loopy Lou]

Give me the winning lotto numbers? Wouldn't improve my situation and doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys a better kind of misery!

Nah, seriously thank you. Hopefully things will work out soon but as someone who's never really had to see docs, get used to medication and changes in lifestyle, i'm finding it hard to adjust to.

Sometimes (and this probably sounds pretty bad) i wish i'd never gone to the doctor's in the first place and carried on burying my head in the sand. That's probably one of the more stupid things i've said recently but it's just the way i'm feeling at the moment.

[Meetz1064]

trust me, we all feel that way sometimes....

[Loopy Lou]

Woke up in a really crap mood today and don't know why. Hopefully i'll snap out of it once i get to work, cos otherwise i'll be irritating everyone.

At 250mg of lamotrigene now, and it's going up again next week. The nurse that deals with my case and talks to my neurologist for me is in my town next week so she's going to call in to see me on thursday. Got a whopper of a bruise on my left thigh and a few small ones on the back of my right leg and as usual i've no idea how they got there.

Just feel like crying and hiding in my room all day, and it's so annoying that there doesn't seem to be any reason for it. Off to work now.

Meh

[Loopy Lou]

Thanks for letting me moan :P

I'm actually feeling a lot better today. Tired, but it's the good sort of tired from working last night. Went to a 50th birthday party and ladies i support had a great time even if one of them kept dropping bits of food on the floor and laughing at me picking it up. Got a long shift again tonight, but it's not so bad because i only have a short one tomorrow and get to have a lie in.