Feeling real down.

[hawke86]

Today I was visiting a neighbor to get out of the house. While I was there she used a word that reminded of when I was growing up. There's this kid at her church that's a slow learner like most of us here. Instead of saying slow learner she used the word retarded. When the neighbor used that word I wanted to tell them where to go with the four letter word. It was enough when I was growing up people calling me that word. Some people these days still call me that word. I can't help that I'm a slow learner.

[alivenwell]

It sounds like your next excursion out of the house won't be to that neighbor...just a hunch!

We'll all be your friends in spite of this ignorant neighbor. We're just on the other side of your screen!

[hawke86]

Thanks.

[Crazy Monkey]

Hey Hawke

(((hugs)))

I hate to hear people 'slanging' disabilities or discriminating in any way. I wonder how they would like it??
I would have had a problem not remarking on the use of the word 'retard' I am always correcting people, however annoying it might be to them.

[Stacy]

Dont be too upset. This just shows your neighbor's lack of education. I think I've been called every name in the book... and then some! Let your heart go back to its rightful color and just remember, "it takes one to know one."

[hawke86]

Thanks Stacy and everyone. Thanks everyone for being there when I need you the most. You are all good friends. I don't have that many friends.

[jazz'smum]

Hi Hawke {{hugs}}
you are a great guy please dont let anyone so shallow get you down.
I volunteer with intellectually disabled people and they bring me so much happiness.When people use the word retard i get very upset also.
I tell you those ignorant people are not worth knowing anyway.
Im your friend.
Cheryl.

[joan]

Im sorry to hear what others have to tolerate and think alot of it has to do with being ignorant to E. I can understand and forgive them but Id also correct them and inform them. Once educated? I think everyone finds just a bit more empathy for another.
The kids at school have taken to calling my daughter the exorcist, she has myoclonics. She choose to inform them and force them to deal with her E and they are doing much better. Just one girl still says she twitchs for attention. Uh huh... It has to s*ck going thru this anytime but especially during High School. Ive tried to remind her that kids will be kids and many mean but that if they didnt pick on her for having E, it could be that she has blue eyes or that she has long hair or for any other million senseless reasons. So far shes really do well with it all but I know it cant be easy.
I do think all these "harder" lessons in life, the ones that help make you who you are. Stay strong*

joan*

[drarvindr]

In life , everybody who's even slightly deviant from the norm gets picked on by the rest of the pack. You just have to roll with it and hope they get educated. It took a massive civil rights movements to stop atrocities against african americans , also to end apartheid in south africa. People don't stop discriminating overnight. People with cerebral palsy are called "spazzes" and "retards". People don't seem to realize that they are people who's feelings can get hurt too.More so with the mentally challenged as not all of them are capable of witty comebacks that the rest of us make when confronted by idiocy such as this.The question we must ask of ourselves is how best to educate people. For instance there are plenty of white people who will say "My friend is african american" all the while still thinking "N%$#%%" or some other derogatory remark. It is the latter portion that needs to be eradicated from the minds of the populace.Unless it affects them personally , people do not care about making derogatory remarks. I think it should also be up to the in betweeners , people who have relatives with disease but are ashamed of them or worse - ignore them , to "come out of the closet" and take an initiative. Almost every person on the planet has some relative or other with a disease that is made fun of.It is idealistic , but if they take the fight into the open , people will be far less cavalier with their hate.Unless they realize the extent of the hurt caused by these remarks , they will go on just as they have.
These days , every person has some trait or other which can make him or her a target , Be it their nationality , colour race creed or religion, handicaps , diseases, the list goes on.Realizing that every person has potential and that we are all human at our core goes a long way towards eradicating such prejudice.

[brain]

Hawkey:

They call my son (Steve) and myself "Retards" or
"Retardos" too - because of our neurologist-disabilities,
while Steve has more learning disabilities than I
do - it does "get to us", but we've learned to ignore
them... for we "see" them people of "ignorance"
and "lack of intelligence". Honestly!

People who have to go to that extreme to make
such snide remark, even radical slurs, are people
who lacks intelligence within their own minds! They
are no better than obnoxious weeds growing on a
beautiful lawn, unfortunately, there's nothing you
can do about them .. as they say:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones
but names will never hurt me"

Isn't true, because after so many years, it does build
up within you (depending on the individual) as it demeans,
degrades, and actually is a negative influence and attitude.

I had found by responding to such individuals who had
made such unruly remarks by saying;

"Excuse me? Were you in reference to me or were
you talking about yourself?"

Often puts the spotlight right back on themselves,
if they uttered it where it gained public attention,
and more often than not, they retreat and say nothing
further after that. Just that simple remark. My son has
begun to make the same remark if such individual or
people have come across with such comments like that,
and he's quick to respond where it catches them off-
guard completely!

There is no use to argue with them or to even bother
trying to talk to them for pretty much they are set in
their ways; we move on and go do what we were originally
doing as if it never happened.

But if the party, such as the event happened were it
is deemed as harassment, like it was at a restaurant
where my son, (ex) husband, and I were in a long time
ago - we made our complaint nicely to the Manager and
those unruly people were escorted out of the restaurant,
for others had complained already before our complaint
was even bought up to his attention! (But that was only
in extreme measures when it was an ongoing bantering
where disruption had to be dealt with, but whatever you
do - NEVER LOOSE YOUR TEMPER! Stay calm, and let
the Managers, Security, or those who are in charge of the
places you are at, including the Pastor/Rabbi - who would
often have the Elder/Usher deal with the individual(s) if
you happen to be in a place of worship, for example; but
whatever you do, after you've made your remark, don't
pursue after it and keep smiling and remain calm at all
times - for the person who is the most hostile is the provoker
and usually is the one who gets "kicked" or "escorted" out!)


Hope these tips helps!


And yes, it's understandable that it hurts ...

(((((((( Much hugs to you )))))))))

[homersdonuts]

Hi, I'm Homer, hope you're doing better

[josieb]

Hi Hawke - Many of us have been in situations where, unforunately, we have had to deal with ignorant or uneducated people. And yes, it does get to you. But you are so much better off to just move on and don't let it get you so down. I hope all is well. Josie

[hawke86]

I'm still feeling about the same. Today wasn't that good for me. I hope tomorrow will be better. I hope everyone has a good and seizure-free night.

[RobinN]

Hey Hawke... hang in there.
Some people are just downright ignorant.
I think you should tell that neighbor how that word makes you feel. I do believe that people are always open to seeing things through others eyes.

[Bernard]

Hi Hawke, the world is full of people who use misguided labels and characterizations to categorize people. Take comfort in the knowledge that people who employ such devices are living within their own psychological traps.

No one is perfect.

[skillefer]

Don't get too upset Hawke. Ignorance and lack of breeding will always show up. You just have to be able to sit there and accept the fact that some people are ignorant and weren't raised to have good manners.

[hawke86]

Thanks everyone. I hope everyone has a good night.