Going banana's once again

[Tralee A]

i need to really vent so excuse all the crummy spelling and gramma.

my folks are bugging me once again. My dad has mild depression at the moment so mum is all nice to him and snappy at me. i understand it to some degree.
any hoo...lately its been all about "Shannon Shannon Shannon" (for those who have no idea who it is, its my little brother.) supposedly he's been thru so much. yeah ok he had his legs reconstructed about 15 years ago but now he has moved about 10 hrs away and has a job and all that. with me tho, i wanna get a job but i think its my folks who are holding me back. mine is a constant "battle" so to speak. my loving boyfriend....(love you munchkin)...hmmm where was i? ah yeah...seems to be the only one who is being there for me and believing that i can get out even tho i'm still having random seizures and the neurologist's are playing with my meds AGAIN. i've gotten there and vented to him(my bf) heaps too. i feel that my folks have enough on thier plates without me whinging to them. i get "mollycoddled" enough as it is too. it seems to mostly be from dad, but lately more from mum. also havent said much to other rellies/friends as i get enough fussing from other family members (nan is a good one for fussing so she doesnt know much about it)
when my loving boyfriend was doing the right thing and asking dad if at some stage he could have his permission to marry me (awww!). dad said "it her life so i think she is old enough to decide that herself". mum happened to be there too and she threw up every wall she could. the big one was "i think we should wait til she has her health sorted out" (i know that with him being as strong willed as he is that, seeing dad said "its her life", he's gonna anyway)

I"M GOING BALISTIC WITH ALL THIS WAITING (sorry)

...i think i've gotten it out for the moment. thanks for listening...reading or whatever

[alivenwell]

That's an incredible story. If your BF and you Dad are understanding, then maybe your mom is somewhat defensive and overprotective. At least, that's what I'm reading into this.

Your mom may be concerned about how you will leave your home after you get married. It could simply be that separation anxiety parents go through when their kids leave home.

Your mom seems to be concerned about your health. Your health should your top priority. What if you had kids...I've been told that seizures can be more damaging to a fetus than medication. Get the seizures under control.

Stress is such a huge factor with epilepsy. I bought an active dog who walks with me everyday. Within a 6 month time frame after I acquired her, my seizures stopped. Was it stress? Probably.

Be proactive. What will you do during a marriage conflict? Will you go back to your parents? Have a good plan for your future. Will you find employment to remain independent?

I go to work to get away from stress at home. When I'm really busy, I'm not really thinking about epilepsy or stressful issues.

[skillefer]

Hi Tralee! Stress is indeed a huge factor for seizures. My mom tried to mollycoddle me too. My best suggestion is to be proactive and do everything you can to take care of your own health. Be responsible. And when your family sees you being responsible and taking care of everything that you can, then they'll be more inclined to let you make your own life decisions. In the meantime, I strongly suggest pre-marital counseling....I know, you and your bf might think you've thought of everything...but you need to sit and just seriously discuss everyday life stuff, like bills, as well as the impact your epilepsy might make on your possible marriage such as whether or not you'll have kids, and how that will effect your seizures (for that, both of you need to talk with your neurologist. )

[hawke86]

Good advice. skillefer