I will never ask "What Next"

[KAM]

Hope everyone is doing better than I am! Had a really bad day in court a few months ago; child support was reduced by 50% that was never pled for. The order also violated two Constitutional Amendments if you can believe that (due process and access to the courts). I had to file an Appeal that took me two weeks of vacation to prepare. It would have cost about $30k for an attorney to file the appeal. I’ve already paid over $100k in attorney fees for a nightmare of a child custody case that has gone on for over three years that is still not resolved.

Last Friday I’m told that my job is being eliminated and either I take a $21k pay cut or I’m gone, I’ve been there for thirteen years. I had to swallow a lot of pride because if I don’t stay there, I won’t be able to get the reconstructive surgery done (for the breast cancer). In all honesty what would you rather hear, you have cancer again or you have to take a $21k cut in pay? I would also take a pay cut if my other option was having a seizure, believe me, the auras and migraines are now constant and I haven’t had them for quite some time.

To top it off; on my last review it actually says “due to health and family issues she has had to be out of the office more that desirable for the smooth running of the department” Can you believe that, does it sound like discrimination? I took a total of 22 days on FMLA with stage 3 cancer and could have taken twelve weeks off paid at 100% and not being there one day. That is what I got for caring about what I did at work. I have reconstructive surgery scheduled for Friday the 13th of next month; I am waiting to see if the job that I accepted (for $21k less) will all of a sudden go away. I need to go to law school to deal with my life!

[RobinN]

Hi KAM
Really sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I hope you have some supportive friends in your life to help you through it all.

Is there any ray of sunshine?
I wish you all the best as you take one day at a time. Good luck with the surgery.

[KAM]

Thanks Robin, my husband, family and friends are great. I'm back to the statements that "Everything Happens for a Reason" and "You're Only Given What You Can Handle". I'll just have to suck it up at work and try to make the best of a really bad situation. Who knows, I'll more than likely excel in the new position and it's for an entirely different department. I can't wait until I start getting the questions from the old department, I'll charge them $100 an hour to consult after hours! They think they know what's going on but truly have no idea what's going on because I never tooted my own horn about what I did. I have now learned that it was a big mistake that I didn't...

[Meetz1064]

good luck, KAM.

I learned a long time ago, NOT to ask that question, "What next?" It always got me into trouble.......

I certainly hope that things go over better at work. If you need to, you might want to hire an attorney that specializes in ADA work, and use him/her to give your company a nudge....that review is a joke. There is no call for that notation at ALL. Good grief.

Take care,

Meetz

[KAM]

I've already contacted a few attorneys, when they see my civil case and the Appeal that is pending, they freak. As a matter of fact, when we did the evaluations all management was sent an email stating not to put anything in the reviews about health conditions. It still ended up in mine.

[KAM]

We fight every day for our situation. Nobody can give us a specific reason why our seizures occur; this is a condition we have and we deal with it! How we acquired it; why we have it; we may never know.. What I can tell you is I have a degree in Business (4 yr) I have worked in Sports Mgmt for the last 15 yrs, I had brain surgery (left temporal lobe) and I actually won an Appeal in the 4th DCA, we never give up and what I will never forget is we always remember in our hearts those that have different days going on...

1 We try to deal with it and we find friends that feel our situation an we move forward

[Bernard]

Congrats KAM. Hope it leads to less stress and much happiness.

[Meetz1064]

Yeah for you, KAM! This is a GREAT thing!!!

[KAM]

Thanks Bernard & Meetz1064! I would love to be a paralegal, at least that way I can get into the law practice without having to go to law school. I like to research and write but when it comes to presenting a case in court; that's not my strong point. It took me two weeks off work to write the appeal and then you wait another six months for the decision (long six months), when I got the opinion and it said "Reversed and Remanded", it was worth the wait!

[BuckeyeFan]

KAM, you are one of those who show that E is not a barrier on education for all. We are just as able to earn our degrees as anyone else. Some may need a little assistance or leeway to account for the seizures, but our intelligence is no different than the general public.

GO KAM!!

[Meetz1064]

I'd skip the paralegal and just go for being a lawyer.........really! See if you can get some scholarships....anyone would be impressed by what you just did.

[KAM]

Hi BuckeyeFan,

If we put our minds to it, we can accomplish so much. I can be honest that when I studied for certain exams and then had a seizure, I would have to study all over again. I also recall after the brain surgery, I forgot so much in "short term" memory but it slowly came back over time.

Hi Meetz1064,

I actually go for the last surgery in less than two weeks, since I'll have a few weeks off from work; I'll check out the local law schools and see if they have anything available. It makes sense, why do all the work for someone else when you can do it for yourself. I'll just need to make sure any and every elective I take is in public speaking.

[Rhea]

It sounds like you are very determined and have what it takes to see this through. When we are fighting for our kids, there are no barriers. Work, money, situations will not stop us from fighting for what's right. Keep up the good work- I seem to have lost my fight, but people like you encourage me that
"I can do this". Whatever "this" may be at the time. Remember to rest, eat right and look out for your health during all this. It's important to take care of yourself. Good luck with the rest of your battle. Never quit- cause when we do- who knows when we will be able to rouse ourself to continue.

[KAM]

Hi Rhea,

We do run out of energy (I have many times) but then all of a sudden a ton of things go through our minds and we try to make it right. If I don’t make it through cancer, who will take care of my kids? When my kids were born, I had a fever of 106.9 and still survived and never had a seizure (miracle if you ask me). It’s who we are and what we’ve been dealt. If you ask me, having epilepsy made me stronger than anything else I’ve encountered because it isn’t something you can control or eliminate immediately or indefinitely. My personality is that I want control over something right now; so it humbled me quite a bit. If you want to send me a PM, please do so, I’ll do anything I can to try and help.