Just Letting off Steam

[Kayleesmom]

Warning: The following entry is not a happy one, but I am really trying to focus on the good and not the bad. It's just easier said than done sometimes. I don't usually like to post stuff about me, but I had to get some things off my chest. Hope it's not too boring. Lets start with the bad:

Kaylee is fighting on her meds again. She threw up in the middle of the night. It was about three hours after we had forced her swallow her meds so I don't think she lost anything. I still worry about it. If she misses even a little bit, she could have a seizure. So we just keep forcing her to take it. I hate it. She does this thing where she holds her meds (which we currently hide inside gummy bears) in her mouth. I have to put my finger in her mouth and push it to the back for her to swallow. She fights and cries, and I just feel horrible. I tell myself she's only three and, due to her being delayed in her communication skills, she doesn't understand how important it is, but it so hard. I just have to hope and pray that things get better as she gets older.

Next: People at work still being difficult. Even my boss aluded to the fact that I am the odd man out. On the one hand, I'm glad she sees that they leave me out of everything, but on the other hand, I didn't know it was that obvious to anyone outside of the usual group. I quess it's to be expected when you are the one who likes her job and her bosses, and everyone else hates it (and them). I just try to be nice to everybody and be positive and it stinks to be around so many negative attitudes. It also stinks when I don't have any friends on the outside to vent to. I have my family and they are wonderful, but sometimes you need some girlfriends.

Next: My magnets were a disaster. I was really just trying to do something good for Kaylee and epilepsy research. I sold a few, but it really wasn't even enough to cover my materials. I hope people didn't think I was doing them for personal gain. That is so far from the truth. I just feel so helpless sometimes. I just had to do something, anything to help.

What else: I've been missing my grandma lately. She passed away in Feb., and I didn't get to see as much I wanted to. I just wish we had some more time. I keep having dreams about her. Their good dreams. More like memories I quess, but it just makes it even harder to know she's gone.

Some Good (Finally): I send my book to the publisher next week. It's Friday. I don't have anything to do this weekend but spend time with my hubbie and Kaylee (and rest, hopefully). I worked out last night, and plan to tonight.

Oh well, that's enough ranting for one day. Hope everyone is ok.

Hugs and prayers,

Leslie G.

[epileric]

I've never been one who deals well with stress but when I worked out my stressed didn't seem to effect me or my seizures as much. It's so great that you work out so try to do that as regularly as possible. I"m sure it's a challenge to do with a kid, I don't have kids & it was a challenge for me (especially when my stress levels were higher), but keep trying.


Good luck,
Eric

[paradise survivor]

Hang in there Leslie, some days just suck. It must be tough for you to do the right thing for your child and yet they don't know how hard it is for you to do it. Maybe you could hide 'the prize' in pudding or applesauce?...like I'm sure you haven't tried everything under the sun oh, parenthood is not for the faint of heart. As for work, well ever see 'beloved employee' on a headstone?...me either.

[RobinN]

I hope you have a good weekend. Do something special for yourself.