One of those weeks

[BuckeyeFan]

Sometimes my problems seem so heavy that I just take the day or evening and retreat into my own little world to shake out the cob webs. Then there are those weeks that remind me that I am still alive, functioning, and others have it worse than me.

This has been one of those weeks. On Wednesday, my Mother's biopsy report came back ugly. She has breast cancer. She had it 11 years ago and had done fine in the interim, but now it has reared its ugly head again. Dad was still alive when she had it the first time. Now my 2 sisters and I are her primary support system.

Then on Friday, one of those sisters was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. She needs more testing to see how far it has spread, but she will have one hell of a challenge ahead of her. I think this has hit Mom harder than her own cancer.

Per the initial reports, these are both treatable and there is good hope for both, but last night I just wanted to punch something. This is just so unfair. My sister and her husband are our best friends, we do everything with them and they have always been there for us when my E flared up. I can't imagine life without her. My wife is closer to her than her own sisters.

I guess it is simply time for me to pull myself together and take care of Mom and help where ever I can with my sister.

If no one reads or responds to this, that is perfectly OK. But it feels good to vent this in writing. I know this is not a cancer site, but I have been really struggling with focus, memory, and concentration lately. This site has quickly become a place for me to relax.

Reading here and realizing how tough others have it does give me that slap in the face that I need to get my act together.

The humor and inspiration rooms are a great release as well.

Thanks to all of you.

[angel]

Im sorry your going through so much.... its good to talk things out! much better than hitting walls.... just take things day by day....

((((((((((((hugs to you & your family)))))))))

ps "Reading here and realizing how tough others have it does give me that slap in the face that I need to get my act together.
The humor and inspiration rooms are a great release as well."

I totally agree! for myself have realized the same more than a few times....

angel

[stringbean]

I am so to hear what your mother and sister are facing.
I agree that talking things out is a much better than punching walls. It is so great to have these sites to be able to do that and more.

I also have realized ever since I have found the different sites relating to my E and other illnesses that I difently am not the only and their are many others out their that have it much worse than I do.

I just posted a thread about how down I am feeling today and by reading the response to yours I am already feeling a bit better by being reminded of this.

Tammy

[alivenwell]

That is definitely a heavy load. I'm so sorry to hear about that and you have all my sympathy.
When I feel really stressed, I take a good long walk with my dog. When I feel really, really stressed, I jog alone. My dog freaks out because we 'usually' walk even though my dog is extremely athletic and smart. I personally find music to be a great outlet by either playing piano or listening to it. I'm heavily into classical music, but my tastes really vary. Sperber's auditorium has a great selection in here.

If it's any consolation, I know somebody with leukemia who has survived it. It is into remission after some aggressive treatment and the blood cell count is gradually returning to a normal level again. Breast cancer, if caught early enough, is also curable. Keep that positive thought in mind. I noticed that the two people I knew with leukemia both had a very positive outlook on life and both survived it. This is essential for any disease or disorder.
When I have been unable to control my anger due to a physical limitation, I try to do mental imaging of happy places, thoughts, or try to do what you did---vent it out in writing. You will be needed for their support.
I highly recommend Dale Carnegie's books. The general philosophy is to live one day at a time, not fret about the past, and not worry about the future. It's a great mentality if you adopt it.

I have a similar situation to your wife. I have a younger sister who has not even tried to contact me or our parents in at least 5 years, even when our mom was in the hospital. No holiday visits, no phone calls off season, no mail, practially no contact at all. She wrote us off, I suppose. I have friends who are far more supportive.
Blood relatives are not always the closest emotionally. My mom really did a lot for my sister, too.

I really wish I had that pumpkin in your picture! I love to make crustless pumpkin pie (fewer calories). It's a desert and a vegetable in one food!

[Birdbomb]

[CQ:)]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum & sister.

[Nancy]

Hoping and praying for your family ....

[brain]

So sorry to hear all of this and
here's a big bear hug for each
and every one of you in your
family and you too!

[Bernard]

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

You are always welcome to vent here.

[RobinN]

Buckeye-
Sorry to hear that life is throwing you far too many to juggle at the moment. I agree it is easy to forget the bigger picture. Others at times do have a bigger plate to carry, however it doesn't mean yours is any less important.

My mom is also dealing with breast cancer. It was a shock. Mom's are not suppose to get sick. Mine is elderly so I doubt she is going to be agressive in her treatment. There are so many success stories. I find that is something to hold on to.

I hope the days ahead are not to heavy for you. Your little world is a good place to rejuvenate and refresh. It is all a balancing act I am finding.

[KAM]

Best wishes for your Mom and sister on a quick recovery. Take care of yourself too!

[BuckeyeFan]

Thank you for all of your support and advice. The hugs are very much appreciated. Hugs back to all of you as well. Receiving support from coast to coast AND Australia is amazing.

Robin, a special hug for you as well as your Mother faces her challenges. Your right, Mom's aren't supposed to get sick. It doesn't matter what the age is, they are still our Moms. My Mom beat this once, so we have faith she can do it again. Keep me up to date on how your Mom is doing.

Kam, you are right. I have to make sure I take care of myself otherwise I won't be able to help them.

I am sure you will see me doing more venting here in the future. But, I will also try be there for all of you and continue joining in the fun forums. Laughter is great therapy.

Each of you are so great. Maybe this E thing helps us to be better people and appreciate life more.

Thanks again!!!

p.s. alivenwell, keep an eye out for a posting on pumpkin pie. I have some good pics for you. My friends hold the world record with a 2,020 pound pumpkin pie.

[RobinN]

Yes... it sounds like that pumpkin pie recipe needs to be in the recipe file. Squash is a good thing...

[Meetz1064]

to hear of the problems you're facing with your Mom & sister. It's a lot to bear. But feel free to come & vent here anytime..........we'll be here for ya.

Gentle hugs,

Meetz

[skillefer]

Hi Buckeye! I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and your sister. I lost my dad to skin cancer, and both grandmas to cancer. So my prayers are definitely with you and your family. Just remember, chin up. And try to keep up the sense of humor. Laughter is good medicine, and a good stress release. *hugs*

[BuckeyeFan]

Thanks again for everyone's support.

I have Mom scheduled for surgery next week. Her doctor seems real positive about her outcome, though her age and general health are not on her side. Chemo will probably follow surgery depending on the biopsies they take during surgery.

My sister's news is not as positive. The lymphoma is growing fast and she is starting to really feel it. Surgery is not an option, so they want her started on chemo this week. She is going to one of the top ten cancer hospitals in the country, so we are keeping hope, but even the best is not enough sometimes. I am so scared she won't be here next year or even 6 months from now. The only good news we have received is that they don't think it is in any organs yet.

The !@#$ing local hospital has delayed everything at least a week because they didn't send the biopsy slides when they were supposed to send them. How difficult is it to pull someone's test results and send them to another hospital. I don't know why everyone brags about the US health care system. We have some great facilities, professionals, and research. But as most of you have seen, that only reaches so far down through the system. That expertise is not available to most people.

This local hospital is totally disfunctional. The only thing they know how to do is remodel. Seriously, the hospital has had renovation going on for at least 15 years now.

Thanks for listening!

Hugs to Birdy, Princess, Tinasmom, Robin and all the rest who have had rough times recently.

[BuckeyeFan]

Mom has her cancer surgery tomorrow. My sister gets a pik line tomorrow and starts chemo for her cancer the next day. And I wonder why I can't concentrate at work.

LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RobinN]

Be gentle with yourself. I learned that two steps forward, one step back, still moves you in the right direction.

Hope all goes well with the surgery, and chemo treatment. I will pray for the best outcome for all of you.

[tiggerifficjo]

Am totally getting where you are comming from, ive had one of those weeks too, and for pretty much the same reasons!
my nan was diagnosed with CA breast 9 years ago and its returned in her other breast and spread to lymphs' meaning daily radiotheraphy treatments which my mum is having to take her on and getting totally stressed. my auntie cant help her as she has been unwell with somthing the dr's dont know yet!, we're in the process of moving house! hectic and enough stress for anyone and then my E get's in the way and makes everything worse all round.
ive basically boiled down to the fact that chocolate is no good at being an anti depressent, wine is just as bad and makes the situation worse so unfortunatly it means i rant and rave at internet forums like this and then remind myself that
it takes both rain and shine to make somthing buitiful like a rainbow.
take care and dont let the beast get you down. x

[speber]

...sorry your family is having to endure this.
I hope the situation gets better.

Sending you positive thoughts