Walked out of IEP meeting

[tinasmom]

Now it's my turn to rant. I am so upset that I could just scream!!

When we got to Nicole's IEP meeting today, I requested the actual testing that was done with Nicole and I was told that they cannot provide that. They can only provide their summary of findings. I then informed the LD teacher that I have the right to that information and she certainly did not like that. I told her that I know my rights and it is the law for them to provide it to me. She then reluctantly gave me the name of the person downtown to contact.

I then said that I wanted it written in her IEP that we would review her goals every three months, that went over like a lead balloon. She kept telling me that we would get the progress reports in the mail. I told her that this is not the way we were going to measure Nicole's progress. She finally agreed to that.

Then she handed out the IEP pre-written with goals and I totally flipped. We have not even discussed goals and what Nicole's actual needs are. Apparently she talked with the teachers without us so she could write the goals. She kept saying that this is just a draft and I told her that I felt like I was being railroaded and would not continue the meeting. She kept trying to get me to continue and I finally stood up and said that the meeting was over before I start to explode. The LD teacher also said that all IEP's have to be to the district by Friday so we have to work fast.

I will not let them push me into anything. The principal was concerned because I was upset and felt that I was losing trust. I reassured her that up to this point everything was going well with the team that we had been meeting with and I was perfectly happy in how things were handled previously. We set the next meeting for Monday and I'm not even sure things will be resolved by then. I am going to see if I can find a parent advocate to help me out. Right now I feel so defeated.

When my youngest daughter had her first IEP, everything was blank and we set goals together. When I told them this today, they told me that this is the way IEP's have always been done in the district. I said that my daughter attended school in this district and that is not how it was done then. I totally refuse to have this woman, who doesn't even know Nicole, write goals that are only measured once a year. Thank goodness I have my lawbooks, which my husband forgot today, to reference.

I knew things were going way too good and something was bound to happen to put us on a downslide again.

[Georgiagirl88]

Way to go! It is your right to know the plan and be a part of that plan. Don't let them push you around. Hope it all works out!!

Michelle

[brain]

That was the biggest (censored word) I've ever heard!
I still have my original IEP's and even my son's IEP's.

You did the right thing by walking out the door!

I would have (if I was hearing) in there and said, "Please
excuse me for a moment" (and grabbed the cell phone)
and say, "I need to consult with my attorney because of
your non-compliance."

I'm sure that would have gotten them talking right there!

So SCREAM GIRL SCREAM!

[CJR]

Well, I guess that Bullies aren't just kids! That woman was on an ego-trip. "This is how I want it done no matter what!" Too bad for her that you are more knowledgable and assertive than the other parents she's bullied!

I was on the phone with our neurologist last night (from 8:30-10:00!) and I said to her that my plan is to hope for the best and be prepared for everything else. Maybe it's the old Girl Scout adage that's been drummed into my brain...BE PREPARED! And you were prepared!

If you feel that the next meeting is going to be more of the same then I suggest asking an Epilepsy Foundation Educator to go with, or if possible a nurse or doctor, or like Brain said...An Attorney! There's no being patient or polite with THAT woman. She is nothing but a full grown bully and the only way to get it through her head is to beat her at her own game. Be a bigger, badder Bully!

Put up your Dukes...and Go Get Her!

[tinasmom]

If you feel that the next meeting is going to be more of the same then I suggest asking an Epilepsy Foundation Educator to go with

The first thing I did when I got home was to call my friend Jeanns. She is the program director at our foundation. She used to work for the school system so she knows how everything works. We are getting together Sunday to go over what they have given me so far. She will be going with us on Monday. Before we left the meeting, the LD teacher wanted all the Drafts back, I kept mine so I can work on writing an appropriate IEP. I'm sure this woman will be changing her tune on Monday because they really don't want me to start "playing hardball".

[CJR]

I'm not a betting person normally but I've got $20 on You to Win!

[alivenwell]

I'm not a betting person normally but I've got $20 on You to Win!

I agree! Ante up! You'll win this one!

[BuckeyeFan]

Lawyer.

Just using this word will get their attention. I had to fight our school system for years to get my youngest daughter help. I did not do a very good job and as a result she suffered through years of teacher neglect and abuse from other students. The school is more concerned about their image than taking care of the students.

Finally, going into her senior year, I brought up the threat of legal action if she received anymore abuse. Guess what, they set up a meeting for us with every one of her teachers in attendance and the administration. That year went better for her, but the social damage had already been done. Now at 21, she is starting to come out of her shell and shine again. I hope she keeps moving forward now.

Be careful with IEPs as students pass from elementary to junior high to high school and even to college. The lack of communication between the grade levels was atrocious in our system.

We were always told that our daughter's problem was unique and they did not know how to handle it. In second grade, she had the highest IQ in her grade at 133. However, she could never transfer this knowledge to paper. They took her off the IEP in 8th grade because she could handle any concept thrown at her, just tested poorly and could never get anything finished in the normal time. She still battles this today. We even had her tested for E as a child and they said she was fine. (possible absence seizures)

Back to the main point - Go after them Laura, NO ONE can write an IEP without seeing the child. That is asinine and possibly illegal or at least against the regulations. Don't back down, you are a great advocate for Nicole. Fight it like she was being attacked by someone, because in a way that is what they are doing by neglecting her needs.

{{{hugs}}}

[skillefer]

Good Job! Yes, a draft may be presented to you at the IEP meeting, but it MUST have the word draft on it. If not, the district can get into trouble. Also, it's actually not that unusual for the case carrier to have very little contact with the student until after the IEP meeting. I actually don't have at least half of my case load as students....but then, I'm at the high school. Also, you are allowed to object to , delete, and add any goals that you and the team believe are appropriate. As for the date that the district wants the IEP done by....well, I always laugh at those deadlines. You should never feel rushed in an IEP meeting. And yes, you're allowed copies of all test answer forms if you request it. So be tough. Take an advocate with you. Oh! And tell them that the next meeting will be recorded. Take either a video camera or tape recorder... Watch how fast they change their tune.

[brain]

You should never feel rushed in an IEP meeting. And yes, you're allowed copies of all test answer forms if you request it. So be tough. Take an advocate with you. Oh! And tell them that the next meeting will be recorded. Take either a video camera or tape recorder... Watch how fast they change their tune.

DEPENDS on your School District, Video Cameras are
prohibited in a lot of areas, however, recorders are
permitted in some places.

School Districts have their own Rules, Regulations,
Restrictions, et cetera in addition with the State's
Rules, Regulations, Restrictions, and yadda, yadda,
yadda. While all students are given a handbook, but
it's not the full kit and caboodle!

There's a lot of loopholes and leeways that can give
the School Board the edge or it can give you the edge
and it could be giving BOTH of you the edge where it
can be deemed rightfully as "War Zone"!

Due to constant revisions, amendments, addendum's,
revocation of previous amendments / revisions via the
addendum's. It's mind-boggling! For they (School Board
Administrations and State) are always constantly and
I mean it - CHANGING!

Makes you want to bang your head on the wall, even
though there's a FEDERAL LAW THERE AND AVAILABLE
but "Whoopie Doo and a La Shiddy Shish Ka Boom Bah!"
to them ~ they don't give a danged freaking flip! I'm
serious!

I AGREE WITH THEM - GET AN ADVOCATE WITH YOU,
AND IF POSSIBLE, THE neurologist'S NURSE OR SOMEONE
FROM THE OFFICE WITH YOU AS WELL - This should
cook their goose! (They can bill their services to the
School Board Administration for their time, the Advocate
can explain this part - because the more on your side,
the merrier!)

[skillefer]

Sharon's right as far as the videotaping/taping. My district allows for audiotaping of IEP meetings. The parent that I currently work with that used to do that ALOT would always notify us 24 hours in advance, or when he returned the notice of meeting, that the meeting would be taped. Trust me...no administrator, or case carrier is going to screw up and say anything on tape that might be used at a fair hearing....or at least they'll try not to. I agree with Sharon...take an advocate. Also, notify the case carrier in writing that the meeting will be audiotaped. You can also request that District Office officials be invited to the meeting, such as the director of special ed. Administrators (principals) , as well as case carriers, hate looking incompetent because a parent has insisted that district officials be at the meeting....and it does make them look incompetent. The district officials are usually irritated at being pulled into an IEP meeting, and the case carrier usually feels like they have egg on their face....after all, they couldn't keep you from getting ticked off. .....Or, you could do one better......request in writing that the meeting happen after summer vacation officially starts, and include a list of specific people you want at that meeting, including next years teachers....that'll steam the district because then they have to pay for those people to come in for a meeting....sorry...just thinking on my battle streak.

[CJR]

I've been thinking about you all day. Wondering if you've had the Monday meeting yet or not. Can't wait to hear how today's meeting was handled. Keep us posted.

[tinasmom]

We had to reschedule the meeting because my advocate had a family emergency. Guess what, it's scheduled for next Monday. I wonder what happened to needing this done by Friday? I just received my new invitation in the mail and now there are more people added, like a second grade teacher and the reading specialist that has been working with Nicole. I did ask why there wasn't a second grade teacher there and they said that they did not know who her teacher would be. The more I think about the IEP meetings that I had for my youngest daughter, they would always bring in a teacher for the next grade so we could discuss what the expectations would be for the next grade. Now I will be able to ask the second grade teacher about the expectations for math and reading so we can set goals for Nicole. I just don't understand how this LD teacher didn't even have any academic goals for Nicole. The two goals she wrote where on her behavior only. The teacher has told us that Nicole is behind her peers academically. I know that this is due to attention problems so we will have to modify the way she is taught. I will be taking a tape recorder with me on Monday. I have one at work that I can borrow. I did tell the principal on our way out that I might have to contact a lawyer. Maybe this statement made them decide to work with us. I'm sure this will be resolved next Monday, because they only saw a small part of my frustration. I'm not afraid to take whomever I have to with me to a meeting.

The funniest thing is today I received surveys for each child on what we think of the schools. We've had some major problems with the middle school and I'm sure they are not going to like that survey when it comes back.

At least now I have more time to work on putting together goals that we feel are appropriate for Nicole so she can succeed.

God works in mysterious ways!

[alivenwell]

We had to reschedule the meeting because my advocate had a family emergency. Guess what, it's scheduled for next Monday. I wonder what happened to needing this done by Friday? I just received my new invitation in the mail and now there are more people added, like a second grade teacher and the reading specialist that has been working with Nicole. I did ask why there wasn't a second grade teacher there and they said that they did not know who her teacher would be. The more I think about the IEP meetings that I had for my youngest daughter, they would always bring in a teacher for the next grade so we could discuss what the expectations would be for the next grade. Now I will be able to ask the second grade teacher about the expectations for math and reading so we can set goals for Nicole. I just don't understand how this LD teacher didn't even have any academic goals for Nicole. The two goals she wrote where on her behavior only. The teacher has told us that Nicole is behind her peers academically. I know that this is due to attention problems so we will have to modify the way she is taught. I will be taking a tape recorder with me on Monday. I have one at work that I can borrow. I did tell the principal on our way out that I might have to contact a lawyer. Maybe this statement made them decide to work with us. I'm sure this will be resolved next Monday, because they only saw a small part of my frustration. I'm not afraid to take whomever I have to with me to a meeting.

The funniest thing is today I received surveys for each child on what we think of the schools. We've had some major problems with the middle school and I'm sure they are not going to like that survey when it comes back.

At least now I have more time to work on putting together goals that we feel are appropriate for Nicole so she can succeed.

God works in mysterious ways!

Be careful not to mention specific names on that survey. It might backfire.

If possible, try to get Nicole enrolled in a learning center with tutors for the summer. My kid jumped up at least 2 grade levels over one summer!

They usually give your kid a general test to see where they are grade-level wise. Then they start from that point and tutor your daughter. The one near me provided kids with 'points' that they could trade in for toys, and other desirable prizes. Basically, they used a lot of positive reinforcement.

I personally know somebody who did win a lawsuit against a school district. They got monetary awards to place their kid in a private school (completely paid for by the sued school district!).

I also know somebody who hired neutral non-school district people to observe classes. That put a little more pressure on the teacher(s) to actually do their jobs.

It's an expensive game. The right strategy wins this hand down!

One thing we found out right before our kid graduated from High School was there are 2 types of 'diplomas'. The first kind is an authentic, valid one that counts toward a high school degree. The 2nd kid is simply a certificate stating your kid attended and completed classes (not an authentic graduation certificate!). Since your daughter is bright, please make sure she gets the right outside support.

I had our son tested by a psychologist outside our intermediate unit and did NOT share results with the school district. I used that as a bargaining unit and signed document in the event we would file a lawsuit. We did not do that, but it was a serious consideration.

Damage was done. My son took 3 years of college so far, but he really struggled to catch up with his peers. Hopefully he will go back for another semester in the fall.

[tinasmom]

I would not put any names in the survey. Although I will put in the survey for Nicole's school the improvement for this year was having everyone seizure trained.

[alivenwell]

Sometimes I regret not putting my kid in a Montessori or private school for the more individual attention. I decided that there were probably some wealthy kids in those schools and did not enroll my son there. On the other hand, I know a teacher at a private school. Her classroom sizes are incredibly small and her students get a lot of individual attention.

[skillefer]

Actually, you don't have to sue in order to get a school district to put your child in a private school. My district is paying for private school tuition for 3-4 students. That's because the parents could prove that the child was not getting the supports and services that would help their student the most, and acted in a way that the district considered belligerent. They threatened lawsuits, kept copies of everything, had advocates at all meetings, tape recorded everything, etc. One student is currently going to a private academy in Colorado. Trust me....when it comes to private schools, districts would rather pay tuition than pay a judgement against them.

[tinasmom]

I had my youngest daughter in a Montessori for pre-school through kindergarten. The first years were great and then we had a new teacher. She picked on Deidre because she had some behavior problems (before we knew she had a learning disability). When I set up a behavior modification program, she asked me what kind of training I had. After that, everything went from bad to worse. She was down right cruel to Deidre. I don't regret having her at Montessori because the first teacher was the most wonderful teacher. So there are good and bad teachers everywhere.

[RobinN]

Rebecca's RSP teacher in middle school was a witch. (I don't say that about many people. However, teachers that humiliate those that are struggling or have different learning styles are not nice). This was suppose to be her safety net, a place that she could catch her breath, so to speak. It was awful, so we decided that I would homeschool her through the rest of 6th, 7th, and 8th grades. It made all the difference in the world. She was enrolled with Laurel Springs, and loved their project based program. It was accredited so that she was able to walk right back into a regular public school situation.

Best choice for us at the time.

[CJR]

Well, at least you have more prep time. Which is always a good thing, imo. I've been thinking about you but the internet connection is spotty and weak right now. I've seen the repair guys out here trying to do their thing. So if you don't hear from me in the next few days please know that I'm rooting for you "Champ!"