Fearing to vs. Not wanting to tell others...

[regencyulrich]

Listen yall,
Whether I am out on a date or out with friends or even with coworkers I dont like telling them that I have in the past had terrible problems with seizures when the topic of health comes up I avoid any focus on me whatsoever...when you look at me you could never tell so, and it is embarassing to say in the least because then I feel like me telling them and opening up that door holds them not only responsible for me but also will treat me differently (not giving me the respect as any other human being deserves). I remember telling this girl I was going out with and this was on the 3rd and she was soo upset I hadnt told her...and I guess that's just a part of me I dont like to share...What the hey I dont want to be "marked" as different I just want to be normal....Am I right???? "We" all want just to live normal lives whatever that means??? I want to not be the seizure patient sometimes I want to forget that I have this problem yeah? so why the heck would I bring it up to some girl I still hardly know ----I havent had any problems with them in almost 2 years so I think its ok for me to forget about me being the patient every now and then because I know its something I'll never truly forget....

seeya,

Read.

[Mommie2my4Angels]

Let me just Congratulate you on being seizure free for 2 years what an awesome accomplishment!!!! I agree you shouldnt have to make that the topic of every date you go on maybe when and if you become serious or exclusive with someone that would be the time but why bring it up otherwise? I would think you would have to be able to have some normalcy to your life you dont tell every person on the street you have Epilepsy why would you have to tell every date?

[huskymom]

Whatever makes you feel comfortable is the way to go! I have no problems with other people knowing about my seizures. If they treat you differently, then that is their problem! Some people are just goofy that way. As far as telling someone that you are dating....what the heck is her deal? You only went out 3 times. I am sure you don't know everything there is to know about her yet, and really, why should you?

I say whatever makes you comfortable......

[Nakamova]

I agree -- everyone has a different comfort level with this stuff. For conversational purposes, I think of my epilepsy as a bit like having a food allergy -- I bring it up if it seems relevant, but otherwise it's not going to be a big topic of conversation. I do want the general public to learn that epilepsy is "normal", but I'm not committed to educating every person, every minute of the day.

[valeriedl]

Everyone that I hang around with knows that I have epilepsy and I let them know what to do when I am having a sez incase it would happen when I was with them.

I do have one or two people that will not go out with me when it is just the two of us. They are afraid of what might happen and that they won't beable to handle it. These people then I just hang around with when there are other people there.

[tripletdad]

First, love the NAME TAG!

Second, here is my take. I dont mind letting people know I have E. And while I dont have a t-shirt or a bull horn to tell everyone, I do tell those that I am close with or that I spend time with that I do have the condition. I've always thought to be normal we must be peculiar in some way.

[shou]

hi I'm new here but not to seizures. I've had seizures since the 4th grade. While growing up, my parents forbid me to tell others of my condition but now that I'm an adult, I have come to accept my it. I have seizures. there no denying that, I tell everyone I know that I have seizures, not to warn them but just to let them know that I am different and if they had a problem with that then I don't want to be their friends anyways. Its better to know sooner than later if they will be a true friend. I have nocturnal seizures so, no worries there, plus I've been under control for the last five years or so. But to each his own.

[stilldancing_98]

My son has difficulties dealing with it. But I grew up with a mom that said you are just as normal as anybody else.I used to blow kisses at the smart skd. lol or tell them to bite my butt. I don't owe them an explanation just like they don't for their saggy pants. Remember where I live, Seattle.

[dfwtexas]

Wow, congrats on being seizure free for 2 years!!!
I don't share my epilepsy with everyone, but it is funny that I will sometimes discuss with total strangers! My family and closest friends know, but if my seizures were in better control...I would probably not discuss much either.

[epileric]

I think a lot of it has to do with the people & the culture one is living in. For the last 25 years I've lived on Canadas west coast & I learned quickly to expect bad reactions if I told someone. What I did do was tell friends after I'd known them for a while, that lessened the amount of people that would react badly & to never tell people at work or school.

Being back in Ottawa I find the people more mature. I did mention my seizures to someone the other day as it was relevant to the discussion & she barely blinked. It just seemed to be a non-issue.

I do find it amazing to see how different the reactions are according to geographical location but I also wonder how often we make our own lives harder by assuming how people will react without really knowing what type of people we're dealing with.

[alivenwell]

Reactions really vary from one individual to another individual; and from one timeframe to another timeframe for an individual. About the only stable force is my own belief system about who I am and how I should handle epilepsy from one day to another day. The epilepsy has actually revealed my true friends who are worth my time.

[sandi]

Usually , I tell although not all, I just didn't want people calling an ambulance and over reacting because it would be over before they would get there.
Hubby and a few people know to not call unless it's prolonged.
I had one grandmal right after my accident and after having been take to a hospital ER the Doctor made fun of me or didn't believe me and blamed the whole incident on hormones.

[stilldancing_98]

Usually , I tell although not all, I just didn't want people calling an ambulance and over reacting because it would be over before they would get there.
Hubby and a few people know to not call unless it's prolonged.
I had one grandmal right after my accident and after having been take to a hospital ER the Doctor made fun of me or didn't believe me and blamed the whole incident on hormones.

Boy, was that a bummer. I just tell who needs to know. If I am out and about by myself then let people call. If I am with a couple of friends they already know. I am going to New York next month the heat is going to knock me out , I told my brother I am going to be having seizures on the streets of Manhattan. He said go ahead, they will freak out hear just like they freak out everywhere else. lol So see tell who you want and let the others freak.Love Teresa