I'm a pseudo-mommy????

[Rae1889]

I know this room is supposed to be for cheering up when you need it about E, But I need some cheering up. I tried to look at everything all happy happy today, but I can't...

Me and Chad have become legal gaurdians for my sisters 17 year old friend. She just turned 17 in November. As of Monday, she will be living with us in our second bedroom like a part of our family.

I got a call from her (Kaitlyn) last night at about 10:30. She had run away from home *FINALLY!* and needed a place to stay. I sent her to her friends place for the night, as we werent set up for her yet. Her mum had gone nutso on her and burned her grad dress. Because she didnt wanna hand over her paycheque to her mum.

She has been financially, emotionally, mentally and non-physically abused. *wont mention anything else*. this poor girl has no life. Her living conditions are deplorable *mold and animal waste and her mum's shady shady roomates.* she must forfeit her money to her mother to "pay rent and a cell phone" but usually gives her $600 a month for it. thats more than what me and chad pay for rent in a 2 bedroom apartment.

She gets picked on and called names. her brother is treated like a prince. and she gets chores and a curfew (like any other kid, but hers includes doing her mothers work paperwork, and cleaning the oven and walls and floors, and her curfew is 8-9pm for 17) she is told to stay in her room after nine because her mum needs to sleep for her night shift. she gets yelled at if she needs to leave to pee or get a drink of water.

Her mother refuses to buy her clothing. Yet she has no money to do it herself because her mum takes it. So she is forced to wear her older brothers clothes which are much to big for her. (she's 5'5 and about 125lb. he is 6' and 180lb) boxers and all.

and the worst is that she has a noticeable tumor in the middle of her forehead right above her nose that is growing. she doesnt know if it is cancerous or not because her mum wont take her in or pay for the biopsy or surgery to remove it. even if its benign. She hasnt been to a dentist or doctor in years. She wasnt even allowed to go into the fridge without asking her mother or brother for the key. (they say they locked it from the room mates who have their own fridge. But dont give her a key)

She is shy and meek and really beautiful. she called crying while I heard in the background her mother was burning her grad dress. There is lots more that I can't say on here as its inappropriate, but whatever you can speculate or think of, she has probably been through

She gets paid tomorrow, so for the first time ever she is going to be able to buy herself new clothes and shoes and get her hair and nails done *i'm paying for that* and do what she wants.

She's moving in and I have to tell her about my seizures and what to do and not be scared etc and im nervous. she's been through so much and I dont want to scare her but she literally has nobody else. nobody.

[Nakamova]

Wow. Just wow. How horrible what she's leaving behind, and how wonderful that she has you and Chad to take her in.

I think given all she's had to deal with, your seizures will not faze her in the least. It may take her a while to get used to them (it takes us all a while to get used to our seizures), but since her life is taking a huge turn for the better right now, that will take centerstage.

Hugs to you all, Kaitlyn too.
Nak

[Endless]

Rae,

All I can say is "bless you." This child needs stable, loving adults, and you are giving her that, you and Chad. You stepped up when you didn't have to, and I'm grateful for that.

How a mother can be given such a beautiful gift - a daughter - and treat her so deplorably is beyond me. You're going to have a year with her to help her get over the damage that's been done so far. And from the sounds of it, you have already started. Now she has the chance to see what it's like to really be loved and well cared for, and hopefully that will carry over into wise choices of friends and husband in her future life, and how she cares for and loves her own children. Bravo.

I don't know what the laws are in Canada for foster children. In the U.S. if the mother has given up parental rights or the state has taken it away, the foster parent can get financial help plus free medical insurance for the child. It's not that simple, there are a lot of hoops to jump through, but the help is there. Is there something similar in Canada?

You are a wonderful human being, Rae.

[Rae1889]

I know I am only 20years old, but I want to hold her in my arms and let her cry. I want to take care of her and show her the world isnt a big bad scary place. I want her to know freedom and proper responisblity. I dont want her to learn to do what everyone says.

YEs, CFS (Child and Family services) has set us up as legal signing guardians *should she need a school form signed or go on a trip.* and they take care of the insurance for her. They are also able to give her scholarships to post-secondary schools if she wants to go.

I'm talking to Dr. Fast on Monday and getting her a referral to a doctor and to see if we can get an CT or MRI for her too.

[seizingbeauty]

I don't know about anyone else but knowing that there are still people like you out there cheers me up!!!
Its not about where she's been but where she's going to be. Know from this moment onward her world is going to be a better place because your part of it. That no matter what life hands her, she will know that there are still good people out there.
I was lucky enough to have people like you and Chad step up and help me. It changed my life, with out the support they gave me, I'm pretty damb sure I would not still be here.
SMILE the world is a better place today because you did the right thing.

[Rae1889]

I have a tonne of emotions right now. from all sides of the spectrum and its over whelming.

I'm tired, I had paper work to fill out for her until 2 or 3am and then couldnt fall asleep until 4am.

I'm running on empty and survival instinct.

SOmetimes I feel to old for my own good.

[Endless]

Are you home today? If so, go to bed and get some rest. It's going to be okay now.

[Rae1889]

No I'm not at home. I'm at work
online trying to figure out other allys to use and talkign to my controller about legal options.
plus I need something to keep my mind off it all for a moment. and now that i have another mouth to feed, I need the money, being a "mommy" is hard work without even being pregnant!

[Chris515]

Rae you are a great person, and you are doing a wonderful thing. Kaitlyn will be so much better off being with you and Chad. She will have a loving, caring home to come to every night, and have a normal life. She'll have people who care about her and treat her as family should.

It is hard to believe how a mother could treat her child that way. Absolutely deplorable.

If only there were more people in this world like you guys.

And yes make sure you get some rest today, if not then tonight. Take it easy and rest up.

[TeeTees]

WOW!....if only there were more of YOU in this world.

The last thing I'd be worrying about right now is if Kaitlyn will be okay with accepting your seizure's; my answer is HELL YES ! I reckon she'll be another rock for you, just as you are to her.

God bless you and Chad

[occb]

WOW!....if only there were more of YOU in this world.

The last thing I'd be worrying about right now is if Kaitlyn will be okay with accepting your seizure's; my answer is HELL YES ! I reckon she'll be another rock for you, just as you are to her.

Quoted for truth.

Seriously Rae -- her life with you and seizures is nothing compared to what she's leaving behind. I think it's wonderful that you're opening your home to her.

She's exiting a situation which was all about others controlling her, so she is going to go through an adjustment period, where she'll be exploring things she was never allowed to explore before. Remember to be patient with her, and to allow her the room to make her own choices and her own mistakes and to re-draw her personal boundaries.

[Rae1889]

Yeah,
and I'm sure all the moms out there know, that this nervous feeling is normal. what ifs and how do Is... Im totally overwhelmed. a little numb actually

and Chris, if she isnt too shy, you should meet her. I'm sure she'd adore you.

Thanks everyone for listening. Its alot on my plate all at once but I'm willing to eat it all for her. she'd a good kid and deserves a good life. a better happiness level before she graduates. I dont want her working at Tim Hortons her whole life.

[occb]

I'm sure you'll help her blossom.

[Chris515]

I'd be happy to meet her Rae. Anything I can do to help.

[Rae1889]

Yeah.
Just alot you know. alot alot! and I am so happy to help. and so happy she chose to want me to help. It will be a big lifestyle change for her too. I told her that I cook Gluten Free, but if she wants something else I'd be happy to cater within reason.

I told her to help herself to whats in the fridge dont ask unless you are unsure. If she doesnt like something, she doesn have to eat it I wont force her too and wont yell if she speaks up.

I'm just giving her a chance to be her. not have to walk on egg shells and kneel on grits.

[occb]

Smart thinking Rae. You're a natural!

[400ex]

Bravo, I am very happy.

[Rae1889]

Thats what people have been telling me today. my work has been so great today. I have been on the verge of tears all day. wanting to be right by her side and help her out. I feel like a mum, not a friend and its strange. she was a friend first and now she feels like a daughter

I've been handed a teenager without getting to see them grow...

[400ex]

Just letting her into your life every single day is going to improve her life drastically. Letting her be around loving caring human beings every day will make her feel so good and probably change her in a lot of different ways.

I am really happy reading about this.

[Endless]

How are things tonight, Rae?